Words and Birds

Cleared for Takeoff

2009-01-07T14:13:00.003-06:00

Simon says check out our new blog.

www.friesencold.com

Come on over and stay a while. We can't wait for your visit.

Hugs from the Friesens.

Coming Soon....

2009-01-03T21:23:00.002-06:00

New blog for a new year.

It won't be long now.

Check back here for directions there.

Blog of an Ordinary Life

2008-12-30T20:39:00.011-06:00

We had a really nice Christmas at home this year. Bauer slept until 7:45am on Christmas Day, and then Cash went down for a long morning nap from 8-10:30am, so we had a good chunk of time just enjoying Bauer opening his gifts. I made our usual sour cream coffee cake that we always have on Christmas morning. It's a recipe that my great-aunt received from a neighbor many years ago, and then it got passed to my grandmother and to my mom and then to me. I also got out our coffee maker on Christmas morning and made some Starbucks coffee that TJ's friend Keith gave us. That was the once-a-year coffee-making I do (I usually drink tea).

Here is a picture of Bauer with his assortment of gifts.

Santa gave him the red GeoTrax train and a pack of track pieces (plus a stocking with a few smaller things inside),

while TJ and I were responsible for the small Mac auto-transporter truck, the Lands' End monogrammed backpack, and the Nerf basketball hoop (from Cash). His favorite, of course, was the GeoTrax stuff, and thankfully some other family members helped out in that area. Bauer also received a bunch of books, which I am very happy about. We've had fun reading his new books, although Bauer is sort of stuck on the three Little Whistle books by Cynthia Rylant that we checked out from the library on Saturday.

Cash had a smaller Christmas, but he still got plenty.

Our three gifts to him were the doctor's office bead/wire toy thingy from IKEA (does anyone know what this toy is actually called?), the "Baby's 1st Christmas" Hallmark ornament with a frame for his picture, and the 2 Fuzzi Bunz cloth diapers. We decided we'd like to try out the Fuzzi Bunz before making the full-on investment, so we just ordered 2 of them to start with. So far, I'm not totally into it, but I am going to give it a little more time to see if I can adjust to the changes. I do think the diapers look a lot more comfortable for Cash, and in the long run, I know it will be a way to save money and the environment.

After presents, we just hung around the house and TJ helped Bauer with all-things GeoTrax while I made our Christmas dinner. I had planned to just make a bunch of side dishes (no meat), but TJ was really wanting to make The Cape Codder sandwich, which is from one of our favorite sandwich shops in Clemson (Pot Belly Deli - no relation to the Pot Belly Sandwich Works around here). The Cape Codder is turkey, dressing, and cranberry sauce on a bun, so that means we needed turkey. We decided to get some thick-sliced oven-roasted turkey breast from the Whole Foods deli so I wouldn't have to worry with cooking a turkey.

On Christmas Day we had a variety of sides: homemade mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing, and roasted carrots with honey, plus TJ had The Cape Codder.

What was the most fun to me was getting to make additional sides over the next few days to fill in the gaps when we ate up the first ones. I made butternut squash risotto, roasted acorn squash, peas, and another batch of stuffing, and TJ kept having The Cape Codder to go with everything. It was fun while it lasted. Bauer especially enjoyed the turkey, butternut squash risotto, and peas.

That book Little Pea by Amy Krouse Rosenthal, which Bauer got for Christmas, is so clever. Bauer also got AKR's books Cookies and Christmas Cookies, which I think are probably my two favorite children's books ever, and I just discovered them through my mom when she was here in early December. I am so glad AKR is on my radar now. She's definitely a new favorite.

And then on top of that, I was happily surprised with a Christmas gift from my mom that is a book for grown-ups by the same Amy Krouse Rosenthal, a book I didn't even know existed (not that I had looked since I was thinking she just wrote for children). It's called Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life and it is on my top 5 list. In reading it, I feel like I wrote it, which is to say, how could someone know exactly how I feel about things?!! To give you a taste, following are a couple quotes from the book that are some of my favorites so far.

From the entry Completion, AKR writes, "I find deleting e-mails or messages on my answering machine quite gratifying...I'm thrilled when leftovers finally become stale so I can throw them out...Magazines full of too many good articles make me frantic...I enjoy cooking because recipes offer a very manageable list of instructions to continuously complete, not to mention the joy I get from using up the ingredients."

From the entry Doing Something, she writes, "Even the smallest task, like filling out a Scholastic Books order form or putting away the butter, requires time, focus, and follow-through...Yet. Still. Somehow. I am encouraged to see that despite the colossal effort, despite the odds against one, despite the mere constraints of time and schedules and sore throats, houses do get built, pottery gets glazed, e-mails get sent, trees get planted, shoes get reheeled, manifestos get Xeroxed, films get shot, highways get repaved, cakes get frosted, stories get told."

Silence.

That was because the strongest emotion expresses itself in silence.

I also love the entries for Connected, Dessert, Dishwasher, Entrance Sign, and Euphoric (I'm only through the E's).

If you found yourself with your mouth gaping open as you read those quotes, just as my mouth was gaping open as I sat there on Christmas morning and held this book in my hand when I first opened it and looked at it and realized what it was (thanks Mama!), then this is your permission slip to go to Amazon.com right now, without any further ado, and buy it for yourself.

My other favorite gift was a small Tupperware veggie tray that TJ found for me on eBay. It's the vintage-looking kind, light blue base, cloudy white lid, with 4 spots for veggies (my 4 veggies of choice are cucumbers, carrots, celery, and little tomatoes in case you were wondering) and a round center slot which mostly stays empty. I love it. It was just what I was hoping for and it fits perfectly in our fridge for everyday use. I also love my I HEART THE LIBRARY shirt TJ had made for me. He took one of my super-soft gray t-shirts from Urban Outfitters and had it screen-printed at the mall. It has a red heart, not the word heart. I really do have a lot of happy feelings in my heart about the library.

I will leave you with a few more snapshots from recent days.

TJ took this shot one day recently when he and Bauer went to the Arboretum. What a great picture by my talented husband. And Bauer is actually doing a relatively non-squinty-eyed smile, imagine that.

This is Cash's 4 month picture. Did I already tell you that I'm taking a picture of him each month on the 28th in his car seat so we can see how big he is growing?

Here we are in downtown Chicago in front of the big Christmas tree at Daley Plaza. We had originally planned to go downtown on our anniversary (the 22nd), but we ended up having to reschedule the trip two times due to bad weather, so we finally got to go this past Sunday night. We ate dinner at our favorite restaurant, Bandera, and then spent the night at the Marriott on Michigan Avenue. It ended up being perfect weather, 40 degrees in fact, for walking around downtown with the kids in the Bob stroller (still lovin' that purchase, even in the winter!!).

I Heart TJ

2008-12-22T14:48:00.016-06:00

If you read this post yesterday (Monday), you'll have to read it again. I made a few changes, mainly because I had time to think while lying in bed this morning and I wanted to add or update a few more things.

8 years old.

That's how old mine and TJ's marriage is, as of today. I am happy to have TJ for my husband. He is a good husband, a very good husband. My heart is so full of gratitude.

Here's us as we would appear in People if we were celebrities celebrating our anniversary. Minus the name tags, of course, because everyone would know who we were. Oh yeah, and switch out TJ's Coke for a beer or mixed drink.

We got married in Clemson, SC, on December 22, 2000. It was a cold day and I remember us taking some pictures outside with the wedding party and all of us were shivering so badly, the girls especially. I bet if we had weather like that here, today, we would think it was quite balmy and we'd be happy for it. Today the high was maybe 11 degrees, which was an improvement over the 6 degree high they were predicting a few days ago. Yesterday the temperature didn't even make it to 6. In fact, our van registered -5 on our way to church yesterday morning, but we still got out there and made it happen (TJ did all the bad parts like buckling the kids in and parking the car).

We also went to a Christmas party at our friends the Meyers' home yesterday evening. There were 8 families there: 16 adults and 12 kids. The food was delicious and abundant: Honey-baked ham, crock pot mac & cheese, stuffing, oven-roasted vegetables, 2 green bean casseroles, corn casserole, sweet potato casserole, rolls, salad, apple pie, sugar cream pie, and a birthday cake for Jesus. Bauer blew out the candle.

But really, Cash stole the show. Don't all babies usually do that by doing not a lot of anything?

Speaking of Cash, check out his style. This would be the video of a baby wearing Ugg boots that you'd see on People.com. My friend Brandy has been so generous to pass on a bunch of her son Zander's baby clothes, including these cool little Uggs. TJ used his new video camera (thanks, Vitality!) to capture this footage.

[Random Fact: Mine and TJ's rings are engraved with the date of our wedding and "Long Live TJ" on mine and "Long Live Ginger" on his.]

TJ and Ginger and All Things Christmas

2008-12-14T20:58:00.011-06:00

Bauer has gotten in the funny habit of calling me and TJ by our first names. It started as an every once in a while thing, but now it's probably at least half the time that he calls us TJ and Ginger and the other half we are Mom and Dad. The way he says Ginger just about makes me give into every request, it's so adorable. There's no rhyme or reason as to when he chooses which name to call us. Even in the same sentence he may call me Ginger and TJ Dad. Tonight for instance, here's who Bauer prayed for when he said his prayers before bed, in this order:

Gigi, Granddaddy, Mom, Dad, Bauer, Cash, (then a pause,) then Joseph, Mary, Baby Jesus, then Ginger, Tucker, and that's all.

It has been a busy and fun few weeks. For Thanksgiving, we rented an RV along with some good friends and drove 15 hours to Virginia to visit some other good friends. We didn't exactly know it was going to be 15 hours, but it's good we didn't know. I might not have been able to psyche myself up for that. I really enjoyed the time spent with my friend Lisa during the ride there and back, and TJ and Lisa's husband Billy navigated so well. Bauer and his little friend Brooke did amazingly well given the length of the trip and the close quarters (even an RV is close quarters for two 3-year olds). And Cash was just a doll. He had just started sleeping through the night good right before our trip and he kept it up! And has continued! Yay for more sleep. Cash has started going to bed around 8pm now and even though I still wake him for that "dream feed" around 10:30, he is getting a longer night sleep now and I'm enjoying some extra time in the evenings, hence this blog.

TJ took Bauer to the Santa House in downtown Naperville this weekend to see Santa and even though I couldn't go due to needing to stay home and take care of Cash (as we had already been out for a few hours earlier that morning), I got to see it on video. The first thing Santa said to Bauer was "oh, good, you brought Tucker along." Bauer went right up and got on Santa's lap and sat there so nicely, but didn't say a word. Santa asked Bauer what he wants for Christmas and when Bauer still didn't say a word, Santa asked him if he wants the GeoTrax train. That is what Bauer has said over and over that he wants anytime we ask him what he would like from Santa. The red GeoTrax train. But he wouldn't tell Santa that, so it's a good thing the parents got to give Santa little clues before the children went in to see him.

Bauer also wouldn't say (or sing) a word this morning at church when his class went up on stage to sing 2 Christmas songs during the service. He and his buddy Nico stood side by side and both of them did not sing or do any of the motions to the songs. It was funny because they just stood there kind of expressionless, when all morning Bauer had been singing "Jingle Bells" at home before we left for church and ringing his little bell. He even wanted to take his bell to church with him so TJ let him take it to his class. When he got up on stage, we heard Nico say to his parents (who were on the front row; we were on the 3rd) that Bauer has a bell in his pocket. So that's where it was, and where it stayed, the whole time they were on stage. TJ tried to get Bauer to take his bell out, but either he didn't hear, or didn't want to, or maybe his teacher told him to leave it in his pocket. Oh well.

Cash has been teething this last week. Bauer got teeth at 3 months, so I'm expecting something similar from Cash. By the way, Cash is 15 weeks old already! Cash has been chewing on anything he can get into and keep in his mouth (sort of frustrating for a 3 month old who doesn't have very good control over his hands yet), drooling, and coughing - all signs of teething.

I went to my friend Dena's cookie-exchange party one night last week and that was fun. I even drank some hot chocolate and am so happy to report I didn't feel sick. I probably hadn't had hot chocolate in at least 3 years because the last time I had it (we were in Hershey, PA, in fact), I felt really nauseated afterward. But I couldn't resist trying Dena's Williams Sonoma hot chocolate with mini-marshmallows and it was so yummy.

What else festive? We have our little 4-foot tree up and tonight TJ put up a few outside lights and then he and Bauer put up some additional lights inside our house. Bauer is SO excited about Christmas. He's been thoroughly enjoying opening a Christmas book each night and he knows that the books are our countdown to Christmas. Tonight's pick was the Amy Krouse Rosenthal book called Christmas Cookies: Bite-Size Holiday Lessons, which my mom just bought for Bauer when she visited last week and which has quickly become one of my all-time favorite children's books (that, and the other book by her called Cookies: Bite-Size Life Lessons).

Bauer is really into arts and crafts now, so I decided we would make a gingerbread house as part of that interest he has now to do things crafty. We saw a kit at Michael's and Bauer practically begged me for it. I wasn't too sure, but decided to get it and give it a try. However, once I took out the instructions and read how to assemble it, I decided it was going to be mostly me doing everything and he'd have to wait too long for everything to dry to enjoy making it very much. I ended up taking that kit back and just buying the ingredients to do a make-your-own gingerbread house that we saw in the National Geographic Little Kids magazine that Bauer gets. It actually turned out really well and I can honestly say that we both enjoyed making it.

One other festive thing we've done is that our small group got together this past Friday night and decorated a Christmas tree as part of the Christmas Gift Mart that our church hosts in a neighboring town. They did a raffle to give the decorated trees away to families in need, so it was a fun way to do something as a small group to help out other people. We took Bauer last weekend to the store to buy our contributions to the tree and also to buy a gift to donate to the Gift Mart (this is where families in need get to come and purchase new, donated toys for very reduced prices and the money raised goes to the elementary school where the Gift Mart is held). We told Bauer we were buying a toy for a child who doesn't have one and that we were buying decorations to decorate a Christmas tree for a family who doesn't have one. Not long after that, when he was doing some arts and crafts stuff at home, he said he was making cards for people who don't have any.

This is turning out to be the best Christmas season yet. Having kids sort of does that to you, I think.

No Time for Words

2008-12-09T21:50:00.002-06:00

A great Christmas photo of Gigi and her two grandsons.

The Boyz

2008-11-25T22:19:00.001-06:00

All I have time for is this....

and this...

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!

Little Updates

2008-11-22T11:03:00.006-06:00

I am really having trouble getting into The Poisonwood Bible and I'm 70 pages in. How long should I give it? I have heard from probably 7 or 8 people that the book is very good, but I'm wondering is it good later or is it just not my type?

Cash went to bed at 11:30 last night and was awake at 3:15, crying. We let him cry and it only lasted for 10 or 15 minutes and then he was back asleep till 7:30! That was a great night.

Bauer is over the moon today because he gets to go to Drew's birthday party this afternoon (and won't have to take a nap) and then he gets to spend the night at his friend Branton's house. We will pick Bauer up at church tomorrow morning.

Bauer's coughing is much improved since we've started doing the Flovent 2x a day. We're also branching out on activities to do with his glasses. Lately, we've been playing games, like the fun elephant stacking game called Zimbbos he got for his birthday this year, or the alphabet matching game he got for his birthday last year. He enjoys them both and I enjoy them a lot more than trying to keep him focused on doing the activity books.

My First Wordless Wednesday Picture: Crazy Cute (Do words in the title count?)

2008-11-19T22:04:00.004-06:00

Sharing Ideas

2008-11-18T20:14:00.004-06:00

Here's something I'm going to do with Bauer this year as we prepare for Christmas. I read this in a parenting-type magazine at the end of last year and have been waiting a whole year to get to do this with Bauer. I am very excited and I want to share the idea with all of you in case anyone wants to do the same thing.

I am going to wrap up 24 children's Christmas books. We own 16 and I am looking into buying a few more to add to our collection, but I don't think I can afford 8 more right now. So the last few I'll check out from the library. I am then going to wrap up all 24 books in Christmas wrapping paper and put them either in a big stack somewhere in our living room or in a basket if I can find an inexpensive cool-looking basket. Each night, starting on Dec. 1 and continuing through Christmas Eve, we will let Bauer choose one wrapped book from the basket and TJ and I will sit down together with Bauer and read the book aloud to him. Usually just one of us reads to him at night before bed, but I'm hoping with this, we can make it more of a family time. This will be a fun way to help Bauer see how many days are left until Christmas (as many days as there are books left in the basket), plus he will get to enjoy a bunch of Christmas books. And I hope it will turn into a special family tradition.

My friend Beth recently recommended at least 20 good Christmas and Winter books to me, so I went to the library and looked at as many of the ones from her list as I could find. I narrowed it down to the ones I like best and that I think Bauer will enjoy the most right now. Here are the ones I would most like to add to our collection this year:

Snowmen at Night or Snowmen at Christmas by Caralyn Buehner
Christmas in the Country by Cynthia Rylant
Merry Christmas, Curious George! by Margret and H.A. Rey
If You Take a Mouse to the Movies by Laura Numeroff
Who is Coming to Our House? by Joseph Slate
Clifford's Christmas by Norman Bridwell (this one, not necessarily for its great literary value, but because it's cheap and Bauer really enjoys the Clifford books we have)

If anyone else wants to share yours or your kids' favorite Christmas books, I would love to hear your ideas.

Breaking News

2008-11-14T11:23:00.001-06:00

Last night. Cash. 11:00pm-6:30am. Enough said.

:)

Soup Kick

2008-11-12T14:51:00.008-06:00

With the recent turn to cold weather and the fact that our whole family has been kind of sick for the past week or so, we've gotten on a soup kick.

On Sunday and Monday (TJ's two days off), we had Trader Joe's Organic Tomato and Roasted Red Pepper Soup for lunch both days. On Tuesday for lunch, I had a can of Trader Joe's Low Sodium Minestrone Soup, and last night for dinner, TJ and I each had a can of Healthy Choice Chicken Noodle. Today we decided to meet TJ for lunch, so we went to Whole Foods because I was wanting soup yet again (plus I knew Bauer would eat a piece of their pizza). TJ got the Butternut Squash Bisque and I tried the Wild Mushroom and Barley Soup. We also shared a big square of their delicious cornbread. I say delicious, but today was an exception because I really couldn't even taste it due to my stuffy nose. But I'm sure it would have been delicious if I could have tasted it. Ditto with the soup.

I don't think we'll have soup for dinner tonight, although I bet Lauren in Orlando will if she reads my blog today (I only wish you could shop at a Trader Joe's, Lauren. You'd love it!).

I have been wanting to fix a new recipe for Soy-Glazed Tofu and Carrots and I have all the ingredients on hand. I've just been waiting for us all to feel 100% before expending the energy on a new recipe that we may not really get to enjoy for lack of feeling well. Today probably isn't the day either since I am not sure I'd be able to taste whether it is a good dish once I go to all the trouble to make it. Maybe we'll opt for something like veggie burgers and baked beans since that's a quick and easy meal to prepare and since I know what those foods taste like and can just use my imagination as I eat.

Home Depot Funny

2008-11-09T18:39:00.005-06:00

TJ took Bauer to Home Depot yesterday to pick up some filters for something in our house. TJ is always buying filters for something, so that's why I say something because it could be anything. Air purifier, humidifier, furnace, vents, who knows?

While they were walking past all the endcaps, Bauer looked up and saw a huge blow-up Santa figurine like people buy to put in their yards around Christmastime. Bauer loudly called to TJ, saying "Dad, look, it's Jesus." When TJ asked him again who it was, he still said it was Jesus, and then he added, "And there's Mickey Mouse."

We were in Michael's The Craft Store today buying a 4 foot pre-lit fake tree because this year we plan to have a small Christmas and because we want to avoid any potential mold that a live tree could bring into our house while we are trying to help Bauer get past these allergies he has and because this particular tree was 50% off. It looks fake, but it was $20. The one that was fake but looked real was $350. Anyway, in Michael's, I noticed Bauer looking at a row of little Santa dolls (can you call Santa a doll?) that was displayed on an endcap and so I asked him who it was. And again he said it was Jesus. I hated to break the news to him, but I decided it would be best for me to tell him that it is actually Santa Claus. Although maybe it would have been kind of fun to tell him we were going to the mall to talk to Jesus and get a picture with him.

Another thing Bauer said recently that made us laugh was when we found him in his room putting (too much) lotion on his hands from the bottle of Aveeno lotion that sits on his dresser. When we asked him why he needed lotion, he said it was because his hands were spicy.

What a Great Book

2008-11-08T14:33:00.006-06:00

I just finished The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows, and it was a pleasure to read (thanks to my mom for reading it first and then leaving it here for me to read, and for my friend Miska for telling me she thought I'd like it). The story is so different from anything I've ever read, and all I could think the whole time is how would a person have an idea like this and be able to write about it in such a compelling way? and I wish I could meet Dawsey. Two of my three favorite lines in the book are lines describing Dawsey:

"He's the most un-hurrying person I've ever met." (p. 167), and

"But let him walk into a room, and everyone in it seems to breathe a little sigh of relief." (p. 194)

My other favorite line is "You really have to be Kit's height to see this world properly." (p. 167) Insert the name of your child into that line and you'll like it too.

I guess I'll read my other Elizabeth Berg book I checked out from the library next, although I don't know what could follow what I just read and give me as much happiness. I was in a different time and in a different place and just amazed at how words can do that.

Papa's Visit and Doctor Visits

2008-11-07T13:33:00.007-06:00

TJ's dad, a.k.a. Papa, came to visit us for a couple days at the beginning of this week. He was en route to San Diego for some kind of church conference and decided to stop in Chicago on his way. It was a great visit, and we had some unseasonably warm weather for November so we were able to be outside (even in short-sleeves!). Of course, I still opted to wear my favorite hoodie.

Bauer had 2 doctor's visits this week, and both went well.

On Monday he had his follow-up visit to the optometrist and I am happy to report that the vision in his right eye (the bad one) improved from 200/20 to 100/20 due to the glasses with patching for only 20 mintues a day over the course of 1 month. And a lot of days we only were able to do 10-12 minutes, and some days none. So it is amazing how much improvement occurred in that short time. We are to continue with the patching and glasses for 20 minutes a day for the next 6 months. I just need to find some new hand/eye coordination activities for Bauer to do. He still likes the maze activity books, but after 5-10 minutes, he needs something different to keep him interested in going for another 10 minutes. I was thinking maybe to have him string beads or pasta on yarn?

On Tuesday, we took Bauer to the allergist to help us try and figure out why he continues to cough. There have been a few nights lately when he has even been awake for an hour in the middle of the night coughing. No fun for him, or for us. The following are things we had him tested for, and a yes or no as to whether he is allergic:

Bananas - No
Cucumbers - No
Wheat - No
Dairy - No
Soy - No
Ragweed - No
Dustmites - No
Mold - Yes

That last one was the only positive, which was positive. It's an environmental mold that is in the soil and can easily get on one's skin and clothes when one plays outside. That "one" is Bauer, and it will require more changing of clothes and baths before bed and keeping doors and windows closed (not hard at this time of year now that it is COLD).

We also have decided to try him on an inhaled steroid for 1 month to see if we can get this under control before it gets worse. We have noticed that when Bauer runs around a lot (like on the night of Halloween when we were out trick-or-treating with friends), his coughing seems a lot worse, both during and following the running around. It is hard to say whether the mold or the running is the primary cause of Bauer's symptoms, but the two in combo are definitely no good. The steroid should help reduce the inflamation of his airways that is likely the reason for his cough. We hope we do not have to continue on the medication for very long, but we are willing to try this to see if it helps Bauer.

New Favorite Recipe

2008-11-03T16:46:00.005-06:00

My friend Dena made this dish and brought it to us after Cash was born. And yes, she used MealBaby to sign up! This was one of our favorite meals we received, and has now become one of mine and TJ's favorites. Bauer likes it too!

I did make a few adjustments to the recipe. It calls for 6 large garlic cloves, but I felt that the garlic was bothering Cash when I would breatfeed him the next morning after eating this dish. So I have been substituting a large sweet onion in place of the garlic. I also doubled the amount of tomatoes and corn the recipe calls for. And though the recipe calls for both feta and muenster cheese, I omitted both (so did Dena when she made it for us). It is so tasty, even without cheese. I am going to type it out below just how I make it.

What is so great about the dish, besides how good it tastes, is that you can make it in the morning or early afternoon (whenever you have time) and put it in the fridge until you are ready to cook it later in the day. It probably takes only 25 minutes to put together from start to finish, and only half an hour to bake in the oven just before you are ready to eat it.

Baked Orzo Pasta with Spinach, Tomatoes, and Corn

Ingredients:
1 pound orzo (I found this at Whole Foods in the pasta section)
1 10-oz bag or container pre-washed fresh spinach (I use organic)
4 T olive oil
1 large sweet onion, diced
1 28-oz can diced tomatoes
2 cups frozen corn (I use the organic Super Sweet Cut Corn from Trader Joe's)
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp crushed red pepper (optional, but I opt in)

Preheat oven to 375.

Using a stockpot, boil a large quantity of water. Add the orzo and cook until it approaches al dente stage (about 6 minutes).

Stir the spinach into the pasta. Cook 30 seconds. Drain spinach and pasta in colander. Return to the pot or to a large mixing bowl. Pour on 1 T oil and toss to coat well.

Heat 3 T oil in a medium sized skillet over medium heat. Add the onion and cook until tender (about 5 minutes). Add the tomatoes and their juices and simmer 5 minutes. Add the salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper to the tomatoes as they are simmering.

Mix tomatoes into the pasta/spinach along with the corn.

Oil a shallow 3 quart casserole dish. Spread the pasta mixture into the dish and cover with foil.

Bake now for 30 minutes at 375 or leave in the fridge for up to 24 hours before baking.

I would include a picture since I made the dish last night, but it's all gone already. We have TJ's dad in town and he gave the recipe rave reviews too! It makes great lunch leftovers the next day too (which is what we had for lunch today) and you can even eat it cold. If you're not convinced by now, well, nevermind....

Diastasis Update

2008-11-02T10:05:00.006-06:00

I saw a plastic surgeon this past Thursday.

I went to have my diastasis recti (abdominal separation resulting from pregnancy) looked at to see if surgery is the best option. I found out I also have an umbilical hernia, which is why my belly button is still an "outie" even though I am no longer pregnant. The hernia is a result of a small tear in the fascia right below my belly button. The surgeon said insurance would cover having the umbilical hernia fixed because it is possible that bowel could become stuck there and cause an obstruction and become very painful. The abdominal separation, though, would not be covered by insurance, nor would there be any point in having it fixed until we are sure we are done having kids. Another pregnancy would very likely pull apart the stitching.

The procedure that would be done is called abdominoplasty, which is in fact a tummy tuck. Although I am not wanting to have any fat or tissue removed from my belly, the doctor said once they would stitch the two muscles back together, there would need to be some excess skin removed as well, in order to get that normal taut look back. I know my belly won't ever be the same after having kids, and I'm okay with that. But I really don't like knowing those muscles are pulled apart and allowing my intestines to bulge closer to the surface, which is also what creates the larger than normal "pooch."

Unfortunately, because there is no true medical reason to have the abdominal muscles reconnected, it is considered a cosmetic procedure and would not be covered by insurance. I'm not going to do the surgery now since we may want to have another baby. But I'm thinking if I just go ahead and get the umbilical hernia fixed and get my "innie" back, I might feel better about the whole thing, plus it will remove the risk of an obstructed bowel. It was encouraging for me to learn more about the options I have and what the two different surgeries entail, and even though I'm not crazy about the idea of having a tummy tuck, at least I feel like there is an option to fix the diastasis if I decide to do it down the road.

2 months old!

2008-11-01T13:59:00.010-05:00

We had a great Halloween this year.

On Thursday night, TJ and Bauer carved our pumpkin on the front porch.

On Friday, TJ was able to come home from work a little early to take Bauer trick-or-treating in our neighborhood, so that we could then leave to go to our friends Jeff and Jaime's house.

And here's Kenny....

Chesney.

The country singer.

And here is our small group. We all met at Jeff and Jaime's and took the kids trick-or-treating in their neighborhood and in the neighborhood one street over. Then we went back to their house for chili and baked potatoes. The kids had a blast running around outside and then running around inside, too. As you can see from the picture, the weather was great (evidenced by the lack of bundling up).

Cash could have been an angel for Halloween with a face like this.

Here's his Halloween outfit for his 2-month picture that I mentioned in my last post. TJ took him for his 2-month appointment on Thursday (I was at Connections with Bauer), and Cash is up to 12 lbs already. He weighed 7 lbs 15 oz at birth.

Looking back, here's his 1-month picture. He weighed 9 lbs 12 oz at 1 month.

I must say, I like my hair a lot in this next picture. But I like the baby in my arms even more.

Bauer likes Cash too!

Low-Quality Pictures of High-Quality Boys

2008-10-28T14:56:00.008-05:00

TJ took Bauer trick-or-treating in downtown Naperville on Sunday afternoon and here's the snap we got. Too bad it's a little out of focus, but it's clear that Bauer is happy. And cute. A lot of the businesses were giving candy to kids in costume, and according to TJ, Bauer's "Kenny Chesney" get-up was a hit! Hopefully it will be a bit warmer on Halloween so Bauer won't have to wear a coat over his cool new button-up plaid shirt. Either way, the guitar stays!

And here's Cash wearing the cute little onesie I bought him at Baby Gap with the Baby Gap giftcard someone gave us upon his arrival. He's wearing this outfit again today, which is probably about the 4th time in the last week. I am trying to get as much wear out of it as I can before Halloween. I hope to get a good (clear) picture of him in it later today for his 2 month picture.

Sickness and Bribes

2008-10-22T15:27:00.005-05:00

This past weekend we had some fun plans, except we didn't get to do a one of them. On Saturday morning, we were supposed to go over to my friend Meghan's house to have a family get-together with our small group. All the guys were going mountain biking in the morning at some park and the ladies (the moms) were going to all meet over at Meghan's and bring all the kids for a playdate while we waited for the dads to get back from their outing. Then we'd all have brunch together. That sounded like a lot of fun. After that, I was going to take Bauer (and Cash) to a birthday party for a friend of Bauer's which was being held at Airtastic, one of those inflatable bounce places.

But we had to opt out of both because I realized Saturday morning that Bauer had hand-foot-mouth disease. I hate to call it disease because it sounds so bad, but that is the name of it. TJ had noticed a couple little red spots on Bauer's hand and one on his foot on Friday night and we had no idea what they were or how they got there. I thought maybe they were bug bites and TJ thought maybe an allergic reaction to something. This spurred us to thinking perhaps we should get rid of some of Bauer's stuffed animals that he keeps on his bed (more on that later). Well, we prayed about the red spots before we went to bed, just prayed for help with that because it seems like it was now going to be another thing for us to deal with on Bauer's behalf, the current other things being twofold:

1) His ongoing coughing and sneezing. We know Bauer doesn't have a cold or other sickness that would generate these symptoms, but we haven't yet figured out what it is. The latest on this front is that a couple nights ago TJ took Bauer's bed, which is made out of pine, out of his room and Bauer is now sleeping on an air mattress on the floor. Yes, that's right. TJ also took Bauer's expensive, high-quality, impenetrable twin size mattress we bought him from some place online out too. Even though that special mattress is supposed to keep everything out, like dust mites and whatever other nasties would normally get in, we started to wonder where all that stuff being kept out was actually ending up. Not more stuff collecting on top of Bauer's bed and in his sheets and causing him the problems, we hope. But we figured we might as well try to remove the mattress too and see if it helps. It's been two nights so far and we haven't noticed any real improvement yet. I also made an appointment yesterday with the pediatric allergy doctor we previously took Bauer to, to have him tested for some additional possible allergens, pine being one of them. We want to make sure he doesn't have a pine allergy before we get our Christmas tree this year.

2) Bauer's glasses and patching, which actually seems to be going really well. Since we got him a few new KUMON workbooks recently, he has been more excited to "do his glasses" each morning. This morning we even went so far as to go to the library in downtown Naperville and sit at a table in the kids area and let him work in his workbooks there. He enjoyed that and I enjoyed the change of scenery.

So back to the red spots....well, on Saturday morning, not only were the spots not gone, but there were more of them. More on his hands, and more on his feet. TJ had already left for his biking when the idea came to me as Bauer and I were sitting at the table eating breakfast. Somehow (which I think I know was the answer to our prayer from the night before) it came into my mind that what we were witnessing was the hand-foot-mouth disease. I really knew nothing about it except that I had heard of it before and that a friend of Bauer's had it last fall. But I looked online, including Google images, and was able to quickly confirm this is what Bauer had.

Thankfully he did not have some of the other symptoms (fever, sore throat, decreased appetite) that usually precede the red blisters. I called my friend Jaime, who is a pediatric nurse, and went over everything with her, and she said the sickness is going around right now and it's lucky for Bauer that he didn't have the other symptoms. He probably has a strong enough immune system, she said, that he just ended up with the blisters. Come to find out, he did have a few in his mouth once I checked. But all his blisters are gradually going away and we are in the clear now I believe. Needless to say, we couldn't go to the small group brunch or the birthday party on Saturday because I didn't want to take a chance of Bauer spreading the sickness, which is known to be quite contagious, to other children.

Before we even realized what Bauer had on Saturday morning, TJ and I got up out of bed with a purpose. #1 Convince Bauer to get rid of some (a lot) of his stuffed animals which were crowding his bed. See below.

#2 Move Bauer's books to a more prominent place in our house. I'll have to save this for another post but it's all the result of me reading The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease. I am ready to let our house be filled to overflowing with books. That is one kind of clutter I've decided I'm going to tolerate. I love books and I have now learned that every time I read aloud to Bauer, it's as if I'm giving an advertisement to Bauer on the pleasures of reading. We already have been reading aloud to him for many many months, but I know our consistency with it was starting to wane a bit as he has gotten more independent and seems just as happy to play on his own as to have us read books. That was my error in thinking though. I have noticed, as we've picked back up on the reading together, that he LOVES the closeness, the attention, the engagement between us. So maybe I won't have to save it for another post after all since I just couldn't stop my train of thought just now.

Back to the stuffed animals - Bauer wasn't really too keen on the idea to say goodbye to some of his beloved friends, but we really thought it was getting a little out of control. We thought to tell him we are going to give the animals to some kids who don't have as many toys as him (via the Goodwill) but we had to take it a bit further and suggest that we would buy him a new toy, specifically the Hot Wheels race track that he recently played with at his friend Jake's house. I am not crazy on the idea of bribes, but I also know I shouldn't let my own personal desire for simplicity rule Bauer so I thought it wouldn't be fair to just force him to get rid of so many of his friends without giving him some incentive. And then I just knew we had to go out and let him get a new toy after telling him we couldn't go to Nico's house for playing Saturday morning, nor to Jake's birthday party. Poor guy.

But here's what he got out of the whole deal, and let me say, it has provided hours of fun so far. And it's not even a noisy toy! I know the picture makes it hard to see the ramp itself, but this is one of the ways Bauer has enjoyed playing with it, by putting all his cars and trains on the ramp and letting them all crash down together.

I'm tired of writing this post, and so here are a couple tired pictures.

TJ may look tired, but he's happy.

And me, I'm just tired but I love my little Cash anyway.

More Words and Pictures

2008-10-17T14:55:00.003-05:00

I just got done reading Elizabeth Berg's The Year of Pleasures, and here's my favorite line from the book:

"But it seemed to me that this was the way we all lived: full to the brim with gratitude and joy one day, wrecked on the rocks the next. Finding the balance between the two was the art and the salvation."

I also just got done making our "Year 2 in Naperville" photo book. I used MyPublisher.com to create it and then placed my order online and within a few days, I had the book in hand. I love it! And I loved making it. And right now, until Nov 5, they are running a special where you get 50% off orders over $100. So I saved over $50 on my order. Without that special, I could not have afforded to make such a long book, but it's great having pictures of almost all our memories from this past year. As of Oct 12, we have officially been in Illinois for 2 whole years.

Click here to view the photo book I made.

Words and Pictures

2008-10-13T14:18:00.019-05:00

Goodness, where to start?

How about with some words and then some pictures?

First word is a quote my sister emailed me that is hanging on the wall somewhere at the place where she works. It goes like this:

"One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the perfect patterns at the right moment." (Hart Crane, American Poet)

The second word is the quote at the top of my blog, below the header. It's been there for a few weeks now, but I wasn't sure you would have noticed that I changed it, and I wanted you to notice. I love Elizabeth Berg and am currently trying to read all of her books. I am on the 13th of her books and know of at least 4 more I want to read. Our library has a great E. Berg selection so I keep trading out for different ones.

Third word is something I am learning from the women's group I am attending at church on Thursday mornings this fall. We are reading the book The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry, which is about thinking and speaking positively in order to bring about more positives in your life and to reach your God-given potential. This next quote isn't one from the book, but it goes right along with the things I am learning about how I view myself. It is by a Brother Francis Delvaux, who says:

"The image I am learning to have of myself is the image that God has of me. When I ask God, What are you thinking about me as a person?" God answers, "I think you are a beautiful, loving person." And I answer, "Yes, I am, because you made me that way!""

Now for twelve pictures. First will be Bauer in his new glasses.

Second is a cute brothers picture.

Third is Bauer on the couch with all his friends.

Fourth is us eating our favorite pizza from Lou Malnati's that some of our favorite people (Winn and Miska) ordered for us and had delivered to our house the other night.

Fifth is Cash sleeping and wearing the outfit of his that I love best.

Sixth and seventh are Bauer dancing in his room. This is one of his favorite things to do right now. He totes around my old CD player, gets it all set up in his room, and picks out a CD from his big black CD case. He loves doing the hokey-pokey, which Nana taught him when she visited a few weeks ago.

Eighth is Cash on his change table by the window, wearing the outfit my friend Gretchen gave him and which makes him look like a little boy already.

And 9, 10, 11, and 12 are from our time spent at the apple orchard/pumpkin patch this past Saturday with our friends Lisa, Billy, and Brooke. Aren't Bauer and Brooke so cute together?

Announcing!

2008-10-06T18:39:00.014-05:00

If you haven't gotten something in your mail from us, and if you like to be surprised, then maybe you should stop reading this post right now and wait a day or two and then check back. I just don't want to spoil your fun of getting good mail.

And no, we are not pregnant again, if that thought somehow crazily popped into your mind when I said the word surprise. Are you kidding? Who would do that when Cash is not even sleeping through the night yet? He is a cutie, though, and I could see having one more. Just not yet.

But if you just can't wait, then go ahead and scroll down and you will see what you're getting (assuming you made it on our address list, and if not, please don't take it personally; just let us know and we will happily add you and send you some fun mail too).

It's a birth announcement for our 2 babies:

And some extra info on our 2 babies:

And if you came to the blog to find Cash's birth story, then click here to be connected to the previous post where I wrote all about it.

And if this is your first time visiting my blog, I and the birds thank you.

Please come back soon.

47 Weeks to Go

2008-10-02T18:20:00.002-05:00

Cash is 5 weeks old today, which means there are only 47 more weeks till he is a year old! You know I had to make a deal out of anything with 47.

Cash had his 1 month check up last Friday and he has gained almost 2 whole pounds since he was born. At birth he was 7 lbs 15 oz, and last Friday he weighed 9 lbs 12 oz. That's quite amazing how much they gain so quickly. He was in 53rd percentiles for both weight and height, and 51st percentile for head circumference. Cash also had his first little cold, which I think he caught from Bauer, which I think he caught from a kid at a birthday party. We've been having to use the nose suction thing on Cash all week, but it seems each day is getting better and he is less and less stuffy during the night. It hasn't really affected his eating or sleeping much on the whole, though. Bauer is all better now, too. Actually Bauer's cold was very short-lived, so short in fact that TJ wasn't even convinced it was a cold (maybe seasonal allergies?). Me, on the other hand, have been fighting a sore throat and hoarseness for the past week. It seems it's taking my body extra long to recover from whatever it is I had and maybe that is because my body is giving its antibodies to Cash through the breastmilk to help him build immunity to things. I have no basis for thinking this...just a theory that makes me feel better about not feeling better.

Really, though, I haven't felt that bad. I'm still getting decent sleep at night, although naps have eluded me most days this past week. Cash has gotten on a pretty good schedule with his eating over the past few days. He usually eats around 6:30 or 7am, again between 9:30 and 10, then around 12:45, 3:45, 6:45 or 7, and 9pm. After that he goes to bed, and I'm up in the night around 12:30am and again at 3:30. It is working well with the other things I need to get done most days. I'm able to get lunch and dinner prepared around Cash's feeding times, and it usually works out that Bauer and Cash are asleep at the same time around 2pm for a while. Today I got to talk on the phone with my friend Gretchen for an hour while they were both asleep! What a treat! Better than a nap.

We got Bauer's glasses earlier this week, along with the patch that he will have to wear for 20 minutes a day. The story of the glasses is that a couple people had noticed Bauer's "white pupil" in his right eye in the picture of our family that I posted on my blog just after Cash was born. Both people who emailed us about the picture suggested we have Bauer's eye looked at, as there was recently something in the news about the "white pupil" condition turning out to be cancer in a young child's eye. We weren't really concerned it was cancer or anything that serious, but after showing a few pictures of Bauer's eye where the whiteness appeared (spanning a range of ages) to our family doctor, he suggested we take Bauer to an opthamologist just to have him checked out and be on the safe side. Turns out Bauer needs glasses. Has very poor vision (far-sightedness) in his right eye, so something about the structure of the eye itself was causing the flash to bounce off his eye weird and cause the bright whiteness. We took Bauer for a second opinion to a different eye doctor the following week and they told us the same thing, although their plan for treatment was a little different.

We are going with the second opinion, that of the optometrist. Bauer will have to wear a patch over his good eye along with his new glasses for 20 minutes a day to begin with. We also have to make sure he does something that requires hand/eye coordination, such as an activity book with mazes, matching, hidden objects, etc. The doctor suggested coloring, but I know Bauer's attention span for coloring is pretty short. I think the activity book will work well. I just need to go look for one. I want our whole family to go and kind of make a big deal out of it so Bauer will be excited. I will probably want to get some kind of rewards too, to give him for completing the 20 minutes each day to begin with. The eye doctor wants to see him back in a month and he also wants to see the activity book to see the progress.

The reason for the patching with the glasses is to "wake up" his right eye. Evidently, Bauer's brain has only been using his left eye since birth since that is the good eye. If we were to just put glasses on him now, the brain would still keep favoring the left eye since vision out of the right eye is so poor. But if we patch the good eye, it will force his brain to use the right eye and will wake it up to what it needs to be doing. The best part in all of this (besides him not having cancer, of course) is that until age 6, the brain is still wiring the eyes, so we have plenty of time to get the right eye working and learning to see well with the glasses. I am so glad we were able to catch this early. I am so glad those 2 people emailed us about what they noticed in the picture. We look at pictures of Bauer all the time, and I guess we never really paid much attention to the whiteness since it was only in a minority of his pictures. The majority of his pictures show no whiteness at all, but I guess it has to do with the angle of the camera and the angle of his eye at the time. Also, Bauer has never given us any indication whatsoever that he could not see well. We've always been amazed at how well he can see things that are at a far away distance. But I guess that might be because his left eye has just been compensating for the weaker right eye.

I don't know how long the doctor will want us to do the patching, but at some point, once we've gotten Bauer's right eye woken up, then he will just start wearing the glasses all the time. But I'm glad we get to start slowly with just the 20 minutes a day.

I have to go feed Cash now. And I don't have a picture of Bauer yet with his glasses. And I also don't have time to spell check this post. So please overlook any errors and just remember, I'm running on about 5 hours sleep most nights for the past 5 weeks. But that is not a complaint.

My Friends

2008-09-26T10:53:00.004-05:00

I have some of the best friends in the world. I love my friends. And not for the things they give me, but I do want to highlight a few of those things.

Here's what my friend Lisa gave me for Cash recently:

And here's what my friends Jaime and Brandy bought for me when they were shopping at Oak Brook the other day, even though they had both already bought me other baby gifts:

So many friends have brought us so many delicious meals. 11 meals to be exact, and we have 8 more already scheduled on the calendar. And all the food has been so good. Last night, our friend Brandy brought us our favorite take-out food from Noodles. And my friend Dena made the most amazing apple crisp ever a couple weeks ago. I am happy to say I snagged the recipe from her so I can make it with the organic apples my other friend Lisa brought us along with the butternut squash soup she prepared. Are you jealous yet? Or at least hungry, Lauren?

Three friends have been so thoughtful as to buy a "Big Brother" gift for Bauer when they've stopped by to see Cash. I'll be sure to remember that when my friends have their second babies from now on.

And nine of our friends have offered to help in any way they can, many of them specifically saying they'd help with Bauer, since Cash was born. I know it's nine because I made a list of them yesterday. And the reason I made a list is because I have realized I need to let these friends help me.

The way I got to thinking that yesterday was after we received another baby card in the mail, along with two $25 gift cards to Babies R Us. I was feeling a little overwhelmed at the many, many gifts we've received from so many kind people. You would be amazed how many different gift cards I have in my purse. Baby Gap, Chipotle, Starbucks, WalMart, and more - all from giving birth to a baby. I never knew it would be so rewarding :)

I am not complaining at all about having these gift cards. It's just that yesterday I had the feeling of not knowing what to do with so many blessings, or why we have been given so much. I called TJ at work and was telling him some of my feelings, including the feeling that sometimes I wish we knew what it was to have a sense of need instead of always having so much given to us, and then TJ pointed out that we do have needs, just different kinds than material ones or things for the baby right now.

TJ and I really need to be able to spend time getting to know each other as friends, meaning we need an evening here and there to go in the kitchen together and make an apple crisp and then eat it and play a game of Yahtzee, or to walk to Blockbuster and pick out a movie together and come back home and watch it, or to talk about MealBaby stuff and come up with even more ideas. It's hard to do that with always having 2 kids around, especially when Bauer usually doesn't go to sleep until after 9pm at night because he often doesn't wake from his nap until 4:30. By that late in the evening, there's no time to make an apple crisp or watch a movie or anything other than get the baby fed and settled for the night.

I had been saying to TJ the night before yesterday how I just wished we could send Bauer away for a night (or a weekend) and how nice it would be to have relatives nearby for that. That is one of the hardest parts of living here, not being able to call my mom or TJ's mom last minute and ask them for the favor of keeping one or both of our children. But then I thought of all the friends we have who have offered to help us in different ways since Cash was born, one way being to watch Bauer for us. So that is what prompted me to make a list, and also what prompted me to ask one of those friends if Bauer could stay one night this weekend with them. I think it's going to work out and I think we need to do this more, call on others to meet the needs we do have and not wish our needs were different ones.

So to all my friends out there who have made me an offer to help, I will probably be taking you up on it in the near future. I need to let you be needed. And I will be thanking my lucky stars to have friends who are like family to us.

My Big 3 Year Old

2008-09-24T07:53:00.007-05:00

We had a great time celebrating Bauer's 3rd birthday recently. You know how much Bauer loves trains, so we had his party at the All Aboard Diner in Downers Grove, IL. This place is train central. There's the train that brings the food; the train on a track up around the edge of the ceiling; the interactive model train set by the front door with different buttons for kids to push and operate different things inside the set; the train pictures everywhere, including the bathroom; the ride-on train for 50 cents like the ones at grocery stores; and of course, a Thomas DVD playing on the TV front and center where every seat in the house can see it. Bauer was in heaven. And I think the other kids liked it a lot too.

I had invited 9 of his little friends, to be accompanied by at least one parent each, although the whole families were welcome to come. I know about the birthday rule of inviting only as many kids to a party as the birthday child is turning (so that would have been 3 for Bauer this year). But how can I narrow down his friends when they all belong to my friends?

I figured if I invited 9, probably at least 2 or 3 would not be able to come due to sickness or vacation or other plans. I really had no idea that all 9 kids would be able to come. Some came with one parent, some with their whole families, but in all, there were 10 children around Bauer's age, 15 adults including me, TJ, and TJ's mom, and 4 siblings who were all babies. I was worried it would be too many people, especially in the party room they had reserved for us for the second half of our time at the restaurant. But it actually ended up just fine.

The first hour of the party was spent at the counter area where the kids all sat in double-stacked high chairs so they could reach the counter. I have no idea why they made the bar stools so low since most everyone who comes to eat there comes with a kid and no 3 year old kid, even a tall one like Bauer, can reach the counter without not 1 but 2 high chairs. I knew this to be the case from our last visit to All Aboard, but I seriously didn't think they would have 20 high chairs reserved for our party. They did! So all the kids could easily reach the counter. Not just for eating their food, though. The biggest deal was getting to watch the train run on its track around the whole counter and then disappear into the kitchen area and then re-emerge with baskets of food. Each child got to choose from the kids menu so you know what kind of food that was. Bauer enjoyed his treat of grilled cheese and french fries and a "box juice" as he calls a juice box.

After lunch was finished, Bauer got his cup of ice cream brought out on the train while we were still at the counter so that everyone could sing "Happy Birthday" to him. But then we moved the party to the party room for the second hour. All the other kids got their ice cream at this point and everyone seemed to enjoy being together in the fun and close quarters of the party room. Even Cash seemed to do okay with so many people around, but thankfully Nana was there to take special care of Cash and give him his bottle when he got hungry. Bauer opened his presents from everyone at the party, and man, did he get a lot of nice things. Thomas stuff, Cars movie stuff, a dump truck that makes noise and has lights, a fun wooden elephant stacking game, a book about trains, a train puzzle, a doctors kit, a Little Einsteins hopscotch mat with the large foam interlocking pieces, and cowboy boots and a cowboy hat from me and TJ and Cash.

Click here for pictures of the party, plus a few other cute ones at the end, including a couple of our family taken last weekend when we did the park district's Family Hayride.

The Family Hayride was a fun outing, but mostly because we did it together with our friends The Lemans. Bauer loves having a friend along for anything we do, so he and Graham had a blast. And of course, TJ and I enjoyed talking with Julie and Matt. The first 15 minutes was spent waiting for the tractor and trailer to show up, the next 30 was spent on the hayride itself, and the last 45 was spent making s'mores around a campfire. Bauer wasn't into the s'mores although he did want a chocolate bar to bring home with us. He and Graham were mostly interested in running around like monkeys and also helping their daddies roast marshmallows on sticks around the fire. It was still daylight, in case you're wondering how we could keep up with two 3 year olds with sharp sticks and fire in the picture.

We found out last week that Bauer has to get glasses. That will have to be a post for another day because the story of how we came to find out is a little long. We have ordered his glasses and they should be in by the end of this week or early next week. Once we get them, I'll get a picture of my big 3 year old in glasses (think Jerry Maguire kid but cuter) and then I'll post about how we found out he needs them.

The 40 Rules of Ginger

2008-09-22T07:20:00.006-05:00

Sometime in the middle of the night recently, while I was partially awake feeding Cash, I had the idea to make a list of all the rules I have for myself. The things that run through my mind as I go about my days. The expectations I place on myself. The things I would be doing in a perfect world, and yet even though I know it's not a perfect world, the things I try to do anyway. The things I feel compelled to maintain.

It's hard to even really put an umbrella over these things and call them by the same name because they are in all different categories. Robert Benson would divide them into work, rest, community, and prayer, and maybe that would be a good second exercise to do. But just getting them down on paper was a good first exercise. It helped me to get a sense of the things I desire and the things that desire me. And it made me see that not everything can be maintained, and not everything needs to be.

And yes, I know the list should have been 47 Rules, but I really didn't think it necessary to dig in my dirt for even more things to live under. I just wrote the ones that came to me easily enough. And anyway, that word should....who gave it such power?

1. Eat healthy. Make sure Bauer eats healthy.
2. Look for ways to save money on groceries.
3. Keep the fridge and pantry organized, know what you have, use what you buy, don't waste food.
4. Write on your blog regularly, like at least once a week.
5. Nurse Cash and keep him on a 2.5-3 hour schedule.
6. Spend time getting to know TJ as a friend.
7. Work out 4x a week, 20-30 minutes each time.
8. Lift weights 2x a week.
9. Don't let the stack of receipts get too high before entering them in Quicken, and don't let the bank/credit card statements get too old before reconciling them.
10. Stay in regular communication with Holly, Mama, and Daddy.
11. Put pictures on the Ceiva at least once a week so that family members can keep up with things we are doing.
12. Don't let Bauer have too many toys and keep the ones he does have organized.
13. Keep the laundry done and the dishes washed and put away.
14. Spend time reading the Bible and journaling at least several times a week.
15. Read books for pleasure and keep book list on your blog updated.
16. Write thank you notes for all gifts received.
17. Write reply emails to friends who email me and do it in a timely fashion.
18. Maintain local friendships with phone calls, emails, and time spent together.
19. Coordinate playgroup including new fall schedule.
20. Keep your recipes organized and try a new one every once in a while.
21. Clean the bathroom when it starts looking dirty.
22. Keep current on what needs to be bought at Whole Foods, Meijer, Trader Joe's, and Target, and make regular trips to each.
23. Take some responsibility for our new small group.
24. Plan a date night every now and then, and plan some family outings (such as hayride and apple picking this fall).
25. Write to Christopher, the little boy you sponsor in NYC.
26. Work toward an eat/wake/sleep cycle with Cash.
27. Keep Bauer's scrapbook and Cash's baby book current.
28. Make carrot juice for Bauer, and when it runs out, make more.
29. After walking for exercise, do the series of stretches you learned in physical therapy.
30. Do groin stretches and squats and at least 100 Kegels a day.
31. Check Facebook every so often to accept friend requests and write some replies to people who wrote on your wall.
32. Find a way to make The Divine Hours a part of your life, create a sacred time and place for that, and begin the journey toward a life of prayer as Robert Benson describes in his book Living Prayer.
33. Wash and cut up all fruits and vegetables as needed when you buy them.
34. Send out birthday cards to people on your birthday calendar and try to buy cards in advance so you won't be scrambling at the last minute and end up settling for an average (and probably overpriced) card.
35. Take a nap when you are tired, which is basically every day now.
36. Monitor how much and what Bauer watches on TV or DVDs.
37. Read the blogs of a few of your friends on a regular basis so you don't get too behind on their lives.
38. Look through fliers from the Sunday newspaper and scan for good deals on things we need.
39. Make sure there is a plan for dinner each night and prepare healthy foods that your family can all enjoy together.
40. Keep Bauer's hands wiped off after going in stores and before he eats snacks. Don't let Bauer put his hands in his mouth. Try to keep him from getting sick.

With all that said and done, what kind of life is that?

Recently I was reading my friend Miska's blog and someone made a comment about one of her posts, and this comment may become my new mantra. All that you have to know in life are the things you love and adore.

All that you have to know in life are the things you love and adore.

That was worth repeating.

I think this thought could be key for me to help me know what I need to know and want to pursue from the list of 40. I know some of the 40 rules are things that must be done, like laundry and dishes, but in loving my family, those are just part of the deal, which means they don't feel like burdens anymore.

In learning about the life of prayer that Robert Benson describes in his book, I know that is the number one thing I want. I cannot do it justice by trying to describe this way of life because it is a different kind of language than what our world runs on and what my days have been used to running on. I can only read the book and let my heart feel it and my mind want it and somehow, slowly, intentionally, daily begin the journey toward this kind of life. If you think it sounds mysterious and vague, well it is. But in a good way. In a way that allows us to "begin to sense that our work can be changed from job and task into service and act of kindness, from the struggle for gain into the offering of gift, from slow death into life-giving co-creation."

My favorite few lines from the book at this point (meaning my favorites will probably change as time passes and I change) are these:

"[The life of prayer] is a journey upon which we embark for the sole purpose of landing at the starting point again and again. Only more away of and more present to, more astonished and humbled and delighted by our arrival than we were the last time we noticed that we were home. Progress, if such a practical term can be used, is measured not by the amount of ground that is covered; it is measured by the amount of attention that is paid. We must pay attention to the seasons that surround us and we must live the season in which we find ourselves." (R. Benson)

Coming next time: Bauer's birthday post and pictures. I am the proud mama of a 3-year old! Here's a sneak peak:

a promise

2008-09-19T09:58:00.003-05:00

I promise to write soon. I have a good post in mind, plus I still want to tell about Bauer's birthday party and put some pictures of that in a Gallery for easy viewing.

I think about blogging every day, but then again, I also think about working out and taking a shower and sleeping. First things first.

Week Two in Review

2008-09-11T14:47:00.021-05:00

In the middle of September 2005, Bauer was born.
Sometime in May 2006, an idea was born.
At the end of August 2008, Cash was born.
And at the beginning of September 2008, MealBaby was born.

TJ and I had the idea for a meal registry website over 2 years ago. And it is has just become a reality. MealBaby.com is a free online tool that allows a person to create a meal registry, including a calendar of when they would like meals delivered, a place to write in food preferences and allergies, and even the opportunity to select restaurants to which they would like gift cards purchased (by out-of-town friends and family members who aren't able to make and deliver a home-cooked meal). Once the registry has been created, the person can enter email addresses for everyone they would like to receive an email with a link to view their registry. Then all of those people can click on the link, view the registry, pick dates on the calendar to sign up to bring a meal, or purchase a gift card and have it sent directly to the person. All of this in one easy, seamless sweep!

MealBaby is perfect for a new mom whose friends would generally want to bring meals anyway but who in the past would start an email chain trying to coordinate all the different people and all the different meals. It's also perfect for a person recovering from surgery or any other person who needs some extra care by having people bring home-cooked meals.

Take a look at MealBaby.com, tell all your friends, and if you have a pregnant friend, be so bold and ask them if you can create a registry for them (yes, you have the option to create a registry for someone else). We would love to get an email or have you post a comment on my blog with any of your questions or thoughts or other feedback about the website.

I am delighted that we have so many nice friends who have signed up on mine and TJ's very own registry to bring meals to us now that we are home with our new baby Cash. We've gotten 5 or 6 meals so far and probably have twice that many to go (thank you, swell friends!). It is such a blessing to have people prepare food for us, and on top of that, it's all been food we really like based on our friends looking at our food preferences listed on the registry we created. So very cool.

In other news, Cash is 2 weeks old. So very cool as well. I am really enjoying the baby that he is more than I ever did with Bauer. I just wasn't the person I am now, and that's okay. God gave me Bauer so He could begin giving me me. And He is still giving me me and Cash is part of that process now too.

Bauer started Parents Day Out this past Friday at a nearby Methodist Church. He was so excited to go to school and to get to use his new Cars lunchbag. He'll be going every Friday morning for the 08-09 school year. Bauer is in a class with 7 other kids and 2 teachers. He is the oldest in his class since his birthday falls right after the Sept 1 cutoff. I can't believe he has 3 more whole years before he starts Kindergarten because it seems like he is already so grown up. Bauer's buddy Graham also goes to the same PDO on Fridays but because Graham's birthday is in August, he is in the 3's class. But at least I'll get to see my friend Julie (Graham's mommy) when we drop off/pick up our kids.

We had Cash's circumcision done this past Monday as an outpatient procedure at a nearby hospital (a different one from the one where he was supposed to be born). The reason we didn't do it at the first hospital was because the only way our doctor would do it there was if Cash got the Vitamin K injection that newborns routinely receive. We had decided before Cash's birth that we did not want him to get the Vitamin K shot, which introduces 20,000 times the normal amount of Vitamin K into a newborn's body during a crucial time of new cell development. That just doesn't sound good to me, but we didn't know this decision would exclude Cash from getting the circumcision done at the hospital. Thankfully, we were made aware of another option where the circ could be done as an outpatient procedure and wouldn't require him to get the Vitamin K first. So we took Cash in on Monday morning for that and he did great. We didn't stay in the room for the procedure, but the nurse told us he didn't even whimper during it. Once we came back in the room, he was starting to seem a little upset and so I nursed him right away and before long he was able to calm down and then slept for over 2 hours.

It was during those 2 hours that we took our second family outing. Our first family outing was the day before and our destination was Whole Foods. I thought it would be a good place for Cash to make his public debut, although no one really even saw him since he was all bundled up in his car seat carrier which was then seated on the stroller with the top pulled down. But it wasn't so much for people to see him as for us to take a family trip to a place we like to go.

Our second family trip was to the mall on Monday after we got done at the hospital. We went to the mall, mainly so I could go to Gymboree to buy some cowboy boots for Bauer for his birthday. TJ and I are giving him those, along with a cowboy hat and a cowboy long-sleeve t-shirt. Can anyone guess who Bauer will be for Halloween this year? Not just any cowboy but a country music singer that Bauer loves to impersonate with his guitar. I told my sister this and she was like, you can't let Bauer be Kenny Chesney and Cash be Johnny Cash because they like wouldn't even talk to each other in real life. Here's the onesie we are going to buy Cash for next summer. I can't wait! I would buy it now but it's already getting too cool for him to get much wear out of it this year.

Also at the mall, we went to The Picture People to look at some pictures we had had taken a few weeks ago when my friend Lisa and I were at the mall with Bauer and Brooke. We were just sitting by the fountain by Starbucks, talking, and letting our kids throw money into the water, when this lady from The Picture People walked up and asked if we wanted to come have some pictures taken of our kids and they would give us each a free 10x13. We thought it sounded like a good deal and we didn't really have anything else to do, so we did it. I wasn't thinking the pictures were going to be anything special because I haven't been crazy about how pictures from there have turned out in the past. But this time, we actually ended up liking several of them and just decided to go ahead and let one of them be Bauer's 3 year picture. Here it is!

Bauer will turn 3 on Monday and we are having his birthday party this coming Saturday. TJ's mom is in town now and Bauer is having a blast entertaining Nana. We went to the outlet mall this morning and Nana bought some fall clothes for Bauer as part of his birthday present. We found a lot of good things at The Children's Place Outlet, including a cute black skeleton t-shirt and some new car jammies for Bauer. We also got him 3 pairs of pants and a long-sleeve t-shirt. He needs a few more long-sleeve t-shirts and maybe a sweater or sweatshirt too. But we are way more prepared for the cooler weather than we were a few days ago.

Tonight we are having Mediterranean turkey burgers from Whole Foods and corn-on-the-cob and then I hope we can take a walk in the neighborhood and let Nana see how well our Bob stroller works. I need some fresh air anyway. And a nap. And some food (I'm as hungry lately as I was when I was first pregnant). But it's all so worth it to have Little Brother Cash and Big Brother Bauer.

"It's so worth it."

2008-09-09T20:15:00.006-05:00

That's what I've found myself thinking over and over the last couple of days. What I am going through now as I take care of a newborn, the breastfeeding, the interrupted sleep night after night, the feeling of being tied down, the planning that goes into every outing and even into every "staying in" time as well....all of this is hard, don't get me wrong. It's hard, very hard, both physically and emotionally. But I know it is such a short time for how long Cash's life will be and how much joy we will get from having him. I see moms of boys, with their boys, all the time - moms who are farther along than me and whose boys are probably in middle school and I think yes, it will definitely be worth it. And then I think how one day TJ and I will be past the child-rearing phase of life and it will just be us and I know we will be so happy to have our boys all grown up and living their own lives with their families. I think that will be so much fun to enjoy them during that stage of their lives, too.

So when I start to think how hard it is to go through this first year especially, I am making it my mantra to remind myself how worth it this whole business really is. I am so thankful to be able to have children and to have them in my life. I am a different person because God gave me Bauer and because God gave me Cash. TJ and I are a different couple because of our boys. I could not be more thankful for these blessings in my life. Yet it seems my thankfulness is only going to continue to grow.

I promised to tell where Cash got his name. Cash is for Johnny Cash, although I must admit, I am no Johnny Cash expert (I probably couldn't name more than 1 or maybe 2 of his songs off the top of my head, unless I had just happened to listen to his CD 5 minutes ago). But I do love that movie called Walk the Line. It is my second favorite movie after About A Boy, which is where Bauer got his middle name of Marcus. I love the story of Johnny Cash in Walk the Line, and I love Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon together in that movie. I love their singing especially. And this makes me love Johnny Cash (his is a story of redemption), and this makes me love the name Cash. And this makes me love our little boy Cash.

Benedict, Cash's middle name, is for St. Benedict. I got into St. Benedict from reading a couple of Kathleen Norris's books, The Cloister Walk and Amazing Grace. My friend Miska recommended the book Amazing Grace first and it is now on my Top 5 list of books I love. The author writes a lot about her time spent in Benedictine monasteries and what she has learned from interacting in the lives of monks and nuns. She is not a nun but has been highly influenced by the lives of the monks and nuns, who in turn have been and continue to be highly influenced by the life and work of St. Benedict.

St. Benedict lived back around the 500's and started the order of Benedictine monks. He wrote what is known as The Rule of Saint Benedict, as a guideline for the monks to follow, and his rule is still followed today in the Benedictine order. After reading of how Kathleen Norris was influenced so much by Benedict, I decided to read Norris's other book The Cloister Walk, which is along similar lines as Amazing Grace, and then after that I decided to read The Rule of Saint Benedict itself. Although some of the book applies specifically to how monks are to live within the monastic community, much applies to how we are to live within a Christian community. I also read a book by Robert Benson called A Good Life: Benedict's Guide to Everyday Joy and in this book, Benedict's rule is made even more practical to our lives today. I love how the words of St. Benedict, through the words of others, have given me life and hope and joy, and that is why I love the name Benedict.

I am going to have to save the meals post for next time. I don't want to be rushed to explain it, so I'll write again soon.

Week One in Photos

2008-09-04T21:02:00.003-05:00

I wrote a one-week post yesterday, but wanted to include more pictures that TJ put together last night.

A few of the highlights from week one, that are shown in the pictures, are:

1. Cash's arrival, of course

2. The Last Fling in downtown Naperville - Bauer rode the big yellow slide, the Frog Hopper, the motorcycles and the dragon roller coaster.

3. Building a block tower with Gigi

4. Water balloon tee-ball

5. The Labor Day Parade - Bauer wanted to stay till the VERY end, so Gigi was nice enough to stay with him so I could walk back home and rest.

Click here for the photo gallery of the first week. There is also one video you can view. To see it, click on the picture of the second Edward Hospital bag on the seat of TJ's car.

51 weeks and counting...

2008-09-04T15:09:00.010-05:00

till Cash's first birthday!

Here is his 1 week picture, taken today, on the front porch in place of the pregnancy photos we took there each week.

I feel like things are going remarkably well. Having a newborn definitely seems a lot easier the second time around, and TJ said he feels the same way. My mom was here through Tuesday (below is a picture of her with Cash at the hospital), but since then, it has just been the four of us.

I wasn't sure how Bauer would do after having my mom here for so long because he got so much attention from her during her visit. The day she left, Bauer ended up not even napping because he fell asleep for 10 minutes on the ride home from the airport, and I was sure that it was going to be a difficult afternoon. But Bauer was so pleasant to be around all afternoon and I was really amazed, sort of wanting to pinch myself because it seemed like a dream. I feel like it was definitely something God blessed me with that day, just to give me confidence in being a mom to 2 kids. Bauer went to bed that night around 8 and slept till 8 the next morning. He hasn't done that in ages.

Yesterday and so far today, Bauer again has been a very happy boy and I am starting to think he just likes being home with us. Before Cash came along, I was always taking Bauer out to different places, sometimes to run errands but just as often to do things with and for him, such as parks, the library, playgroup, etc. There were not a lot of days that we just stayed home, but it seems from the past few days at home, Bauer really likes being home. What he is especially enjoying lately is playing tee-ball with water balloons. Sort of hard to capture a good picture of it, but I tried.

Even this morning, when TJ told Bauer that the two of them were going to Target together to pick out some new clothes for Bauer (he has no pants or long sleeve shirts that fit him and the weather turned cool today and made us realize we better get him something soon), Bauer right away said he wanted to stay home with Mom. They went to Target anyway and found a few good items, although I think we need to make a trip to the outlets soon, especially The Children's Place Outlet.

What I can't believe about having a baby is how big it has made Bauer seem all of a sudden. He feels so heavy now and it's almost harder to hold him than even when I had the big baby belly.

I also can't believe how much newborns sleep. Cash eats and naps and that's pretty much it so far. In the next couple of days, I'm going to start working on keeping him awake for a little while after each feeding, which is something helpful I learned in the Babywise book. It's the Eat/Wake/Sleep routine, which helps them establish a rhythm that lends itself to uninterrupted nighttime sleep. Last night, Cash had the most fussiness he's had so far during the night. He was awake and clearly not settling down from about 10:15pm-1:15am. We couldn't tell if he was hungry, had gas, needed to poop, or what. But once he finally settled down just after 1am, he had 1 more feeding around 4:15am and slept the rest of the time till 7am. I think TJ and I are averaging about 5 hours total sleep each night. I am trying to get a nap each day, which is a big help.

Breastfeeding is going well now that I'm past that really tough 24 hours where the milk is coming in and you think you just can't do this. I remember the same thing with Bauer, but I had forgotten how painful that part was. But now that I'm through that, and am getting back into the routine of nursing a baby every 2-3 hours, it really isn't too bad. At first, I was getting a little frustrated because I was pushing myself so hard to nurse on both sides and it was extremely difficult to keep Cash awake for the second side. But then I thought to try just one side each time and that works a lot better. If he starts wanting more, I can go back to 2 sides and the cool thing is my body will respond by producing more milk for him. This whole thing is just such a miracle.

We haven't given Cash a bath yet, but will probably start that in the next couple of days. I also plan to start a pumping and bottle routine one time a day. I really want TJ to be able to give Cash a bottle each evening for his late-night feeding just so that Cash gets in the habit of taking a bottle and so I can go to bed right after pumping and get a headstart on sleep since I know I will be up again a few hours later. So far, I've mostly been nursing Cash while sitting on our bed with big fluffy pillows stacked up beside me. But I'm not sure how that will work if we want to attempt to have TJ sleep through that middle of the night feeding once he has to go back to work full-time and really needs to get a good night's sleep. I take up pretty much the whole bed with all the pillows and all of Cash's changing stuff is in our bedroom (along with his crib), so it seems that the hoopla of it all is going to wake TJ up regardless. We're not quite to that point of having to figure it out yet, though, so I'll stay on the bed for now.

I love being able to look out the windows in our bedroom while I'm feeding Cash. I can see Washington Street with all the traffic and there are always people walking by to the train station or to the high school down the street. I love the noise of it, and feeling like I'm in the middle of something even though I am just sitting there in a quiet bedroom nursing a newborn baby. I have a couple good books I'm reading, so I go back and forth between those sometimes while I'm nursing too.

Stay tuned for next time, when I plan to tell the story of Cash's name, plus reveal our secret for getting great meals delivered to us now that we are home with a newborn. In the meantime, let me close by saying,

LOOK AT MY TWO BOYS!

Our Birth Story

2008-09-01T10:48:00.010-05:00

Well, here it is - the long awaited birth story!

On Thursday morning - the VERY COOL date of 8/28/08 - I started having contractions around 4:15am. They were mild in intensity and probably spaced about 10 minutes apart at the beginning. I woke TJ around 5 and we stayed in bed until probably 6 or 6:30, just timing the contractions and me trying to rest and relax. Still nothing too major.

This continued throughout the next few hours, so we went about our typical morning routine with Bauer getting up, having breakfast, and playing. It was mostly my mom playing with Bauer, though, so I could sit and rest during the contractions and so TJ could be keeping up with the time. By 9am, the contractions were getting a little more intense and closer together, anywhere from 4-8 minutes and each lasting about 60 seconds in length. Around this time was also when my mom left the house with Bauer to take him to do fun stuff for the morning, like the children's museum and the park.

We had already called our doula Lisa around 6 that morning just to let her know my contractions had started, but she had told us to call back when they were getting more intense. So we called her again around 9:30 or so. She suggested I try some different positions during the contractions and just see how they felt and then to call her back again shortly. We had blown up the air mattress in our living room so at this point I was mostly just resting on the mattress (I liked the firmness better than our bed) and trying to relax each part of my body during the contractions. I had envisioned that by the time labor got to this point, I would be listening to the hypnobirthing positive affirmation and relaxation tracks on my iPod as a way to get through each contraction. But instead, it seemed more relaxing for TJ to put on some soft music on the computer and for him to read me the positive affirmations I had typed out and also for him to do some light touch massage just to remind me to relax.

Just after TJ got off the phone with our doula around 9:30, that's when I got into a new position as she suggested. I got on my knees in a kneeling position on the floor and rested my hands and head on the recliner and sort of swayed my hips back and forth. This felt good to me until the contraction really started and that is when I had what I would call the first very intense and painful contraction - the kind that you realize is your body doing what it is supposed to be doing but you aren't quite sure how you are going to get through this. I didn't ever imagine myself making any kind of noise during labor except maybe for breathing, but I know with this contraction, I began a groaning noise and just had to give in to it. I don't know how long that contraction lasted, but it was after this that TJ realized he should call Lisa and tell her she should come to our house. Our plan was to labor at home with Lisa there as a support person until it was time to go to the hospital.

Unfortunately, Lisa's phone went straight to voicemail but TJ left her a message saying that she should come now. Right after that, TJ got on the phone with the doctor's office, letting them know I was in labor and that they could notify the hospital. He ended up being on the phone with them for like 10 minutes (and that's even after making the selection for the if you think you are in labor, please press whatever button). As soon as he got off with them, I suggested he call Lisa back again to be sure she had gotten the message. So he called her and this time she answered and said she hadn't gotten the message yet, but that she would leave right away. She lives about 20-25 minutes from our house, and I had assumed we would be at home for a couple more hours at least from this point.

But then my water broke! I was back on the air mattress and I had another very intense contraction and then I felt all of this gushing of liquid. At first I didn't even realize what it was, but TJ quickly told me it was my water breaking. TJ said he actually saw it happen, like it was this big bubble coming out and then it burst.

From that point, everything is sort of a blur because the contractions were so incredibly intense and painful that I really had no choice but to give in to whatever my body needed to do. And what it needed to do was PUSH. I felt a lot of pressure “down there” and the feeling of needing to go to the bathroom, which they say is a sign of the need to push. When I realized this feeling, I started to feel some panic because Lisa wasn't there and also because I didn't think we could make it to the hospital. I just knew I had to push and I also knew I was making a lot of groaning noises (but who cares at this point?) and the third thing I knew was the whole idea of trying to relax and breathe through this didn't even seem like an option. Like I keep saying, my body was taking over and my mind wasn't really that involved, other than the thought of having to push, push, push.

TJ said we really need to get to the hospital and I was like, I don't think we can. I really didn't see how I could even stand up from the air mattress, much less walk to the car and then ride in the car. There were about two times during these moments of intensity that I had a break for about 30 seconds and that is how first, I stood up, and second, I walked through our backyard to the garage. After first standing, TJ helped me get my shorts back on - I had kicked them off after my water broke - and then he helped me to the back door. He helped me get flipflops on, and he also somehow grabbed most of the things we had packed for the hospital. I walked on out to the car (our Honda Civic) and then TJ was there too - opening my door, reclining the passenger seat all the way flat, laying out a large hospital pad over the seat to protect it, and helping me get in.

As soon as we backed out of the garage, I remember taking my shorts right back off because I knew I had to push. TJ began driving the less than 2 miles to the hospital as fast as he possibly could and I continued groaning, or maybe you could call it screaming at this point, and pushing. We had to drive through the downtown Naperville, which meant at least 4 or 5 stoplights from our house to the hospital. At one point, I think TJ even went into the opposite lane of traffic to get by some cars that were stopped at a light. He was doing everything possible to get us there before that baby came out.

We were getting so close to the hospital that I'm sure I could have seen it up ahead if I had been looking up ahead. TJ kept driving and I think he was telling me to breathe, but the most important thing he was doing that I didn't realize at the time was that he was looking over and watching me and being very aware of what was happening "down there." I'm so glad he was because when we were just 3 blocks from the hospital, TJ said he saw the baby's head starting to come out (and believe me, I felt it!). TJ said there was a moment when he was torn between trying to keep going and just get us there and stopping if we weren’t going to make it in time. He said he looked down again and this time, the head was really coming out, so he quickly pulled over into the first driveway he saw, which we later found out was an old home converted into a dentist office. TJ went back later to take this picture.

Anyway, once we were stopped, TJ put on the parking brake and reached over as the head came out. TJ told me later that he put his hands on either side of the head and supported it as it came out and then he told me to keep pushing. I pushed once more and the body was out, just like that. And then TJ told me to raise up my shirt and put the baby on my chest skin to skin, which of course is what I wanted to do, but I am glad TJ was there to tell me to do it because I think I was sort of in shock at that point.

I had this slippery, purple-red, 30-second old baby right in front of me. I didn't cry and he didn't cry. But it was amazing. TJ reversed out to the honking of horns of the cars we had cut off, and we were back on our way to the hospital that was 2 blocks away. I was just holding our new baby boy on top of me, and patting his back and trying to make sure he was breathing. He was starting to look all purple, but now thinking back, it was probably just because he was getting cold. I kept looking at his face and holding him up and wanting him to cry or cough or something so I could know he was okay. But he was breathing, for sure, and we were so close to the hospital that I really didn't have time to worry for long.

TJ pulled right up to the emergency room entrance and jumped out of the car and then ran around to my side and opened the door, while at the same time calling for anyone standing there to go get some help, that we have a baby in the car. It seemed like it took a good 2 minutes for anybody to come and I remember saying to TJ to just go get someone, but right after that, a whole bunch of nurses and a doctor ran out to our car and brought a stretcher bed on wheels. They covered me and the baby with a blanket and started rubbing the baby to warm him up and they lifted us both on the bed and began rolling us into the ER. I remember I had just one of my flipflops still on and I wanted someone to take it off so I wouldn't have to think it might fall off.

They took us to a room in the children's ER and the first thing they did was cut the cord. Part of our birth plan was that we wanted to make sure the cord had stopped pulsating before it was cut so that all of the blood in there could go to the baby's body instead of being wasted. Well, we didn't have to worry about that because by the time they cut it, the cord was completely white and had shrunken really skinny. That was pretty cool. So they cut the cord and took the baby over to the side (with TJ right there watching everything they did) and they mainly checked his breathing and vital signs. They quickly told us he was fine and while they were doing all the baby stuff, the nurses were talking to me and putting in a heparin lock for an IV (which I thankfully never needed for anything) and I was asking for something to drink and they kept telling me I had to wait until I delivered the placenta. But then finally some nice nurse handed me a cup of ice chips.

We were wheeled next to the delivery room, where I would have delivered the baby if I'd been there in time. One of the doctors in my practice, Dr. Martin, came to deliver the placenta and shake hands with TJ, congratulating him on the delivery. Before the placenta was delivered I still felt some pressure in my groin area and he kept telling me it would feel better once the placenta came out. We probably waited in the delivery room about 5 minutes before Dr. Martin felt I was ready to push, and then he gently pressed on my uterus and instructed me to push. It didn't take long and it was out, and right away some of that pressure was gone.

The next thing he did was to check me for tears. I am so happy to be able to say that my perineum was completely intact and there was no cervical tear either. That is the one thing I was really hoping for during the birth, that I wouldn't tear. I had done a lot of stretching of my groin muscles, and a lot of squatting to help prepare my body but still, you never know how big the baby will be or how fast things will go (meaning how little time your body may have in labor to actually stretch itself out and not tear). In my case, though, it worked like a charm and even with the fast labor, there was no tear.

After the placenta was out and I was checked for tears, this is when I got to hold Baby Cash again. I had envisioned having skin-to-skin contact for the first hour after his birth, and for them to delay all the newborn procedures (such as weighing, measuring, etc). Well, I did get to hold him immediately after birth in the car and TJ's hands were the first hands to touch him and mine were the second. I think that is the coolest thing. Nobody was there to interfere at all with us being the ones to touch and hold our baby. But once we got to the hospital, I was fine with them taking him for those first few minutes to make sure he was breathing fine and I knew TJ was right there watching everything they did. However, it was good to get my baby back on my chest in the delivery room and be able to really look at him and just see that he's okay and I'm okay and just to think - wow, I can't believe what just happened.

And will somebody please take my flipflop off already?

So we had this one flipflop lying around our hospital room for two days until TJ remembered to retrieve the other one from the car. Here is a picture of the car a couple hours after the birth when TJ went down to get our bags and bring them to our room. I so wish we had thought to take a picture of me holding Cash in the car right after TJ delivered him and I also wish we had thought to look at the clock in the car to see what time he was born.

But that just made for another cool part of the story. When we were in the ER, one of the nurses said to TJ, "Dad, what time was the baby born?" and TJ looked down at his watch and saw that it was a little after 11am. So he quickly thought about it and said 10:47. So we got our 47 after all. Bauer was born at 4:51 and we had both wanted him to be born at 4:47 since it was so close. But oh well, maybe I shouldn't be so opinionated about stuff like this. I realize that I would never have planned to have a baby in a car, but it was such a blessing after all. We got the natural birth we wanted, with no interventions from the hospital staff. We never even had to use our "birth plan bribe" candy - ha! And still, once we got to the hospital, everyone there was very nice to us and didn't isolate the baby at all, like we had thought they might. We had heard that sometimes they can be weird about having a baby come in with "outside world germs" and will try to keep the baby separate for a while. But it was nothing like that.

We were cared for by so many great nurses and what a huge help they were especially with the breastfeeding. We kept Cash in our room with us the whole time and anytime he had to be taken down to the nursery for anything, TJ went with him. I'm so thankful for that because one time, they were asking TJ if it was okay to give Cash a pacifier because the lady didn't want him to cry when she was doing the hearing test, and TJ was like "umm, NO." I guess they might have just done it if one of us wasn't there. What was interesting was how every single nurse or tech or person we interacted with at the hospital seemed to know we were the ones who had the baby in the car, like it was written in big red letters across the top of our chart or something. It's been fun telling the story so far and I think it's cool that one day we get to tell Cash about his birth.

A couple other things I forget to tell is that our doula never did make it to our house before we left, but maybe that was inferred from the story. By the time we were able to call her, she said she had been at our house knocking on the door for like 15 minutes and thinking maybe we didn't hear her because we were in the back room trying to get through a contraction or something. She made her way over to the hospital and saw us there and stayed with us for the first few hours. She even drove back to our house to pick up a few things we had left in our rush to get to the hospital and she got us lunch from Jimmie John's!

The other thing has to do with the birth certificate. We had to fill out the paperwork for them to type out, but there were a few parts at the top that had already been filled in by the hospital. It asked if Edward Hospital was the place of birth and they had written NO. And then it asked if the answer was no, then tell the place of birth and they had written in IN CAR BY FATHER. We thought it was cool that they actually had written this in. Once the paperwork was typed up, it ended up saying that the baby was born on WASHINGTON STREET and that he was delivered IN VEHICLE. I don't know that the birth certificate itself will actually say any of this but this is the official record.

We were in the hospital from Thursday morning till Saturday morning and when we left, we just felt so blessed to be bringing home a brand new healthy baby.

Cash Benedict Friesen
Born 8/28/08
10:47am
7lbs 15 oz
19.5 inches

The Beginning.

Our New Family Photo

2008-08-29T16:08:00.004-05:00

I plan to write the whole story later, but the super-quick version is that I had the natural birth I wanted all right! TJ delivered our new baby boy Cash Benedict in the Honda Civic on our way to the hospital yesterday morning. We don't know exactly what time Cash was born and we didn't think to take a picture of him after he was first born in the car. Actually we realized later we had forgotten to grab the backpack with the camera in it, but I would have at least gotten TJ to take a picture with his phone if I had thought of it. But at least Cash got a cool birthdate of 8-28-08 and TJ got to estimate the time of birth and if you know us, you know he picked 10:47am. Cash weighed 7 lbs 15 oz and is 19 1/2 inches long. He sure is cute. And Bauer seems to like him already.

Today

2008-08-25T21:54:00.007-05:00

Today is my due date.

Today I started reading a new book called Love Walked In.

Today we bought Oberweis 2% chocolate milk and I'm drinking a glass right now.

Today my mom and I took a nice morning walk while pushing Bauer in the stroller.

Today I wore my gray American Eagle t-shirt with the little green bird stitched on the front. Again.

Today I didn't wear mascara.

Today I talked on the phone with Jamie, Jaime, Jeff, Jill, and Meghan. That's a lot of J's.

Today I emailed a bunch of my old high school classmates to ask for their mailing addresses because I am on our class reunion planning committee.

Today I added 4 new friends on Facebook.

Today my mom bought Bauer the game called "Guess Who."

Today we took Bauer to a park and then to lunch at All Aboard Diner, a train-themed restaurant where we are having his birthday party in a few weeks.

Today I bought red and green grapes for 99 cents a pound, which is 1/3 the price of grapes at Whole Foods. What cost me $4.62 at Target would have been $13.86 at Whole Foods.

Today I took a 1 hour and 45 minute nap while Bauer was napping and I feel great!

Today we ate a whole cantaloupe for breakfast. That was only $1.50 for me, TJ, my mom and Bauer all to have some.

Today I made a smoothie with 3 bananas, a peach, and some frozen strawberries.

Today Bauer wanted to read the Blue's Clues book called I'm Sorry about 10 times.

Today I bought a vegetable brush. I want to scrub potatoes and apples really good from now on if we are going to eat the skin.

Today is 4 months till Christmas.

Today was TJ's day off but he had to go to work this evening for a couple of hours to do a video shoot.

Today my sister has a bad cold and had to stay home from work. I hope you feel better soon, Holly!

Today somebody had a baby, but not me.

Celebrity Status

2008-08-23T07:08:00.003-05:00

No our baby star wasn't born yet.

But I did feel like a celebrity last night when TJ and I went out for dinner to Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery. TJ had the idea for us to go to dinner since my mom is now in town and could watch Bauer. I hadn't even really thought of us being able to go out since I had really thought by now we'd be busy taking care of a baby and using my mom's help for that. But when TJ suggested, I was definitely up for the idea. And we both had Rock Bottom in mind as where we'd like to go, so it worked out perfectly.

That is, until we got there and we found out they had just recently gotten a new menu and the one menu item I had fallen in love with the last time we went there was no longer on their menu. TJ's fish tacos were still on there, but not the portobello mushroom sandwich on wheat ciabatta bread with sundried tomatoes, spinach, fontina cheese, and some sort of delicious pesto. I was so disappointed as soon as I scanned the menu and couldn't find it. We asked our waiter about it and he apologized and offered a couple other vegetarian options, but none were really what I was wanting since I loved that mushroom sandwich so much and only wanted that.

Well, I was trying to decide between a pizza and an artichoke, spinach, and tomato wrap, when another lady who worked there (we later found out her name was Jackie and I assume she was a manager because she was dressed in nice clothes and seemed very empowered to please the customer) stopped by our table and told me that she was going to quickly drive to a nearby restaurant and get a portobello mushroom from them since Rock Bottom no longer has them. She said they really wanted to make me happy and try to make the sandwich as close as possible to what used to be on the menu. I don't really know how she knew I was so disappointed when I saw they didn't have the sandwich anymore - I guess maybe our waiter told her, but I didn't know I looked that disappointed. Anyway, she was so nice about it and really seemed eager to do whatever she could to make my experience a good one.

Just before she had come over to our table and offered to recreate the sandwich for me, TJ was reading this little card that had been inserted in the front of each menu, stating Rock Bottom's desire to make each customer's experience a positive one and wanting to do whatever it takes to make this happen. The card noted the new menu and even went so far as to say that if you try something off the new menu and are not pleased with it, then they will replace your food or refund your money. That's a pretty good deal, although at the moment of my disappointment, as TJ was reading the card, he commented that we should let them know about the missing mushroom sandwich and take them up on their offer to put the customer first (not that I was thinking they should bring back the sandwich just for me).

But that is just what they did. So this girl Jackie drove to some neighboring restaurant and came back with a portobello mushroom and then asked me about what kind of bread I wanted it on, since they no longer have the wheat ciabatta bread. She told me my options, which I evidently seemed unsure about (onion kaiser, onion rye, sourdough?) because not long after that she came back and asked if I wanted a wheat bun and I was like yeah, now that sounds about right for a portobello mushroom sandwich. It was as if she was making the sandwich for me just how she would have wanted it (she had previously commented that she loved the old sandwich). I felt like Jackie really was excited to try and make the sandwich perfect for me and without hesitation, almost without even asking my opinion, she was telling me she was going to go next door to Red Robin and get a wheat bun from them. And that is what she did.

And we really didn't have to wait all that long for any of this. We got the NEW! Homemade Guacemole and Chips for an appetizer while we waited, and before long TJ was getting his fish tacos and I was getting my portobello mushroom sandwich on a wheat bun with the same spinach, sundried tomatoes, fontina cheese (just a little), and rosemary mayonnaise on the side. I guess they didn't have the pesto anymore but that mayo was delicious too. I ate every single bite of my sandwich and loved it! It was just as good as I remembered, maybe even better since I knew it had been so customized and created with love (can you call it that?) especially for me.

I felt like a celebrity and I didn't even have to whine or make a scene to get what I wanted. I truly was just going to pick something else off the menu and then later in the ordeal, I was going to pick a different bread, but Jackie was so enthusiastic about making our experience a perfect one, that I had to let her. And now I am an even bigger Rock Bottom fan. I'll know next time before we go that the mushroom sandwich is not on the menu, although as a post note, let me say that Jackie told me that the next time I come, I could even call ahead and let them know I'm coming and would really like to get the portobello sandwich that used to be on the menu and that they would do their best to accommodate me. I don't know that I'll ask them to go to all that trouble, but wow - what restaurant even offers such a suggestion?

My Dad's Birthday

2008-08-22T06:45:00.002-05:00

Today is my dad's birthday. I think he is turning 54. And I also think it would be cool to have our baby share a birthday with him. I really did think I was going to go in labor during the night last night, or at least that is what I was envisioning all day yesterday, especially after I went to my doctor's appointment in the afternoon and found out I am 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced.

I know the Bradley Method teaches you that the amount of dilation doesn't have a whole lot to do with how soon labor will start, but it did make me feel good to think that whenever I do go into labor, I'm not going to have as far to progress. The doctor suspected it may go pretty quickly. He said the baby's head is VERY low, although the number he wrote on my chart is still the -1 position as last week. So I guess the baby is just sitting there really low and waiting for the uterus to start doing its work to gently ease him further down and out.

My mom arrives into town today and we had a backup plan and everything for her to be picked up from the airport in case we were at the hospital when she arrives. But unless something starts this morning, it looks like TJ will be picking her up and then Bauer and I will get to spend the afternoon with Gigi. I am looking forward to her visit and especially to her help with Bauer and the new baby (whenever he makes his debut).

I made a list of all the fun things that we can do with Gigi, or that Gigi can do with Bauer while we are at the hospital. Naperville is such a great place to live if you have kids and if you can survive the winters. But right now it is summer and we are again loving it. Here's my list of ideas:

1) new Whole Foods - gelato bar (I got Bauer a strawberry-mango gelato there one time and now every time we go, he remembers and asks for the same thing. I keep telling him Gigi will take him there when she visits.)

2) Barnes & Noble or Anderson's Bookstore, both in downtown Naperville - to play with the Thomas train table sets (I love doing this because I get to sit in a chair and read while Bauer enjoys playing with the trains)

3) DuPage Children's Museum - located 0.2 miles from our house!

4) Morton Arboretum, which includes tons of walking paths, nature trails, and a children's garden, and which is where I took Bauer yesterday and right after we got there, he stepped with both feet (including shoes and socks) right into this little wading pool

5) Various parks that are part of the great park districts around here. I would guess there are at least 10 parks within easy walking distance of our house.

6) All Aboard Diner - a train-themed restaurant where your food is delivered via train and where we are having Bauer's 3rd birthday party in a few weeks

7) Airtastic - one of those indoor bounce places with all the blow-up jumpy things for kids to climb and slide and basically be out of control and tire themselves out

8) Library - Bauer and I usually go to the library once a week to exchange the DVDs we've rented and pick out some new books. We also go to storytime sometimes.

9) IKEA - My mom mentioned the last time she was here that she wanted to visit IKEA with us the next time she came, and Bauer really enjoys going there too. It's either because he gets to run around wildly and jump up on furniture, or because TJ often gets one of their Lingenberry fountain drinks when we visit and Bauer knows he'll get to have some (which also may be the reason that he runs around wildly and jumps up on furniture). We just found out our replacement recliner is in at the nearby IKEA so we'll have to pick that up in the next week or so, so it should work out for my mom to go with us. In case you're wondering, our new recliner has had a few issues, including that you have to practically kick the footrest to make it stay down once you have opened it up, so we are getting a replacement. We do love our new furniture though.

10) The mall, which is not my favorite place to go in the summer since I'd rather be outside or at least be in a place where I can see the light of day from inside, but they do have a carousel that Bauer really enjoys riding and a fountain for throwing money in and lots of room for him to run around yet again. And there's a Disney store and Build-A-Bear which Bauer has never done, but which maybe Gigi will want to take him to do.

So those are the 10 ideas I came up with, but also a good picture of the kinds of things I've been doing with Bauer lately. Our playgroup has also done some really fun activities this summer like going to Pelican Harbor (a splash park and pool) and Blackberry Farm (which has an outdoor miniature train ride, an outdoor carousel, and pony rides).

I am so thankful that we have all these opportunities here but I'm also thankful for how our life is about to change with the new baby coming. Even though I know it will be more difficult to just pick up and go to the Arboretum or the library or IKEA, it still is very nice to know we have so many options and so many things Bauer enjoys.

Kingsolver

2008-08-20T09:14:00.004-05:00

Has anyone read any other books by Barbara Kingsolver? I just got done with Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and am wondering if her other books are just as good.

TJ took Bauer out for a couple hours this morning to give me a little break. They were going to ride bikes (I guess I should say bike since it's one bike with Bauer's seat on the back) past the train station, to the post office, and then stopping at a park for a few minutes before heading to TJ's work. I am picking Bauer up there in a little while. And then I'll take him with me to Whole Foods to pick up a few things we need before we head back home.

I was hoping to stop by the bookstore too to look at the Kingsolver books and decide if any of them look good enough to buy with the Borders giftcard I received recently. I also got a 30% off one item coupon from Borders so it should be a good deal.

Last night was the Parent Orientation for the Parent's Day Out program Bauer will be in starting in September. It was a great meeting and the program seems so well-run. I think Bauer is going to love it! And I feel sure I will enjoy that chunk of time on Friday mornings with just me and the baby. I saw two of my friends at the orientation last night, and we all have our boys going on Fridays, but one of the kids will be in the younger 2's class, Bauer in the 2 1/2's, and the other little boy in the 3's. So that's sort of a bummer, although I'm hoping I will run into the moms (my friends) during drop-off and pick-up sometimes.

Okay, I hate to break it to you, but I don't want to spend the rest of my downtime this morning writing on my blog. So I'll go. And hopefully I'll go, as in have this baby soon!

39 weeks

2008-08-18T06:13:00.003-05:00

I honestly didn't think I'd make it this far, but here is another day. The full-moon effect had no pull on me on Saturday and I even walked around downtown Naperville with Bauer for close to 3 hours, hoping for a little contraction action, on Saturday afternoon while TJ was at work.

Walking with our new double BOB stroller is seriously the easiest walking I have done during this entire pregnancy. That stroller practically pulls you along. And Bauer likes it a lot, too! It is so roomy for him and seems like such a smooth ride over bumps and cracks. It really is amazing and I am so happy I had a couple friends highly recommend their single BOBs. (It just makes me wish I had had a BOB all along and none of this Graco stuff.) Even though there is no baby yet to go in the other side of the stroller, I am enjoying using it with just Bauer. Plus, this way, there is room for Tucker, as well as the Blue's Clues books that we stopped and checked out from the library on Saturday afternoon, to be in the seat beside Bauer.

We had another of our Bradley classes yesterday afternoon and had a good review of second-stage labor. Bauer spent time at home with our babysitter and when we got home, they were out in the backyard playing tee ball. That was a nice thing to see because Bauer looked so happy and he was really hitting the ball good.

Not much on the agenda for today. TJ has off work, so perhaps I'll take a walk outside by myself. Or then again, maybe I'll take Bauer just so I have the stroller to push and it seems easier. The one little project I'm working on lately is getting our address book on our computer in order and making a new list within that of people that we want to send birth announcements to. You know I like to organize and throw away, so deleting names (mostly duplicates) from the address book and updating the others is quite fulfilling for me.

I also have a little project planned for when I go into labor. My friend Hannah said she read that you should have a labor project so that when the time comes, you will have something to occupy your mind and body for a while in the beginning stage of labor when you definitely aren't ready to go to the hospital yet. One idea from whatever book that was was to make cookies, so that is what I decided I will do. I haven't made cookies in a while and I have a bunch of recipes for different kinds that I've saved from magazines. So I picked one and bought the ingredients last week, and I was even thinking maybe I can take some to the nurses at the hospital as an additional birth plan bribe, or just to be nice.

Pictures of our new stuff

2008-08-14T19:00:00.015-05:00

First, the furniture from IKEA.

Then, the BOB stroller.

Next the baby's crib and change "table" all set up in our bedroom.

My cool Bebe au Lait (a.k.a. Hooter Hider) and HotSling.

And here is a little plaque I painted for Bauer at our last Ladies Night Out with our small group.

Finally, my 38 week belly. Oh yeah, and my new American Eagle t-shirt in my favorite color.

Preparations for Baby - A Long Post with No Pictures.

2008-08-10T14:59:00.005-05:00

Things seem to be coming together well around here as we prepare for the arrival of our baby. I have 2 weeks to go until my due date, but I'm trying to mentally and physically prepare myself for any day now.

I have finished reading the Hypnobirthing book as well as the Bradley Method book, and have been diligently practicing some of the exercises and relaxation/breathing techniques from each of the two methods. I have been stretching my inner thighs, doing lots of squatting, and working those Kegels. In fact, I'm liking the exercises so much (gasp!), I think I will keep them up once the baby is born. It has been amazing to me how quickly my body has adapted to these exercises, but maybe it's because my mind has been highly motivated to make it happen quickly since there is so little time left. Now, I'm actually glad that Igot into the natural birthing hoopla so late in the game because it has made me have a greater sense of urgency to get my body and mind ready, plus I think if I knew I had 4 months ahead of me still, I would have difficulty being diligent to practice my exercises every day with my "deadline" looming so far out. Six weeks has been a perfect time frame for me and my all-or-nothing personality!

I have my iPod shuffle all loaded up with the Hypnobirthing affirmation track, a couple relaxation guided exercises, and the Rainbow Relaxation track. I also added a bunch of slow, peaceful songs to my iPod yesterday, including Yanni's The End of August. It was interesting how many of the song names I picked seemed to go along with the direction I want my birth experience to take.

We wrote our birth plan and discussed it with our doctor this past Friday. It was quite well-received by the particular doctor we met with (there are 4 others in the practice I go to), so I am hoping the others take it just as well or that this doctor is the one who is on call when I deliver. Only a couple of things on the birth plan did he point out we might run into a small bit of difficulty with, one being getting out of the "SO-ROUTINE" pitocin that is given after the delivery to help cut down on bleeding, but he did say it is always my choice. So I guess I will have the choice - it just might be that we have to be a little more forceful than we had hoped to get out of that. We'll play that by ear and talk to our doula if the situation occurs.

Everyone seems to think that because this is my second baby, everything will go quicker and easier - not that my labor and delivery with Bauer was all that long or that hard. But it does seem nice knowing I'm doing my first natural birth with my second child. Bauer has prepared the way, they all say.

We have the crib set up in our bedroom now with the safari-themed sheets and bumper all washed and made up. I have the baby clothes washed and organized in drawers. I have my new HotSling, my new Bebe au Lait, and my old Boppy ready for use. TJ and Bauer put together the new portable swing we purchased from our registry using mostly gift cards and they set up the little bouncy seat. The infant carseat and the baby bathtub have been taken down from the rafters of the garage, and TJ happily ordered our Bob stroller last night. He was checking out the stroller website a friend had recommended and they were running a sale and we got the very last one of the exact one we wanted - the orange Revolution Duallie with the infant seat connector bar add-on, plus a cup holder for me!

And most recently - this morning at Whole Foods we picked out the natural baby products we want to try this time around: Weleda Diaper Cream and Burt's Bees talc-free baby powder. Just before that, we had breakfast with some friends at their house and my friend Dena was showing me the cloth diapers she uses for her daughter Adelyn. They are called Fuzzi Bunz and seemed really easy to use, not to mention environmentally friendly and ecomonical. So that is something we plan to look into once the baby is a little older and past the pooping-every-20-minutes stage. I have to honestly say I never thought I would be a cloth diaper person, but it only seems like a natural progression of all that we are already embracing. It's at least something I plan to look into and consider, while in the meantime using the Pampers Swaddlers we were given at our baby shower.

I finished my re-reading of the Babywise book so that I could remember how to work toward a flexible schedule with the baby: by trying to keep with the eat-wake-sleep order and do the feedings between 2 1/2 to 3 hours apart. The first week though is a grace period and I'm not even supposed to look at the clock but focus only on trying to get the baby to take full feedings. That sounds good to me. I keep telling myself I'm going to start my re-reading of Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, but I can't divert my attention from Animal, Vegetable, Miracle for long enough to start a second book at the same time. I have Baby Whisperer in my stack of stuff to take to the hospital, thinking I may get some reading in during my couple days there. And yes, I do have my stuff laid out for the hospital, just not in a bag yet.

Our doula recommended we buy some large candy bars or other treats to wrap copies of our birth plan around to give to the nurses who are on duty when I go in to deliver. She called it a "Birth Plan Bribe" or just a friendly way to make friends and let them know we aren't trying to be difficult just because we are approaching things differently. So in my hopital stack are the 4 boxes of movie-theater candy I bought with copies of our birth plan wrapped around each. I wished I could have thought of a more healthy option than candy, but for some reason, I don't think they'd get too excited about a "Birth Plan Banana."

Me, on the other hand - if it was just the right green-ness of banana, I would. I am the pickiest banana eater you ever saw, and usually the only way I can eat a banana straight out of the peel and into my mouth is if I pick it out in the store and eat it as soon as I walk out of the store. It has to be the exact right ripeness (or rather green-ness) or I can't do it. Thankfully, 75% of the bananas we buy end up in smoothies, and so it works out great since the best bananas in smoothies are the ripe ones.

But that doesn't have anything to do with baby preparations, or perhaps it does. All those smoothies I'm eating are giving me lots of vitamins and minerals and that is building a healthy baby. But let's see - what else?

I have a toy (a Lego Mac truck from the Cars movie, but ssshhhhhh) all wrapped for Bauer, for when he first visits the hospital and sees his baby brother. It will be a gift from the baby to Bauer and I just know Bauer is going to love it (the toy, that is, and I'll keep you posted on the baby brother part).

My mom is scheduled to arrive on the 22nd, which is my dad's birthday and a prime candidate for another birthday. I wouldn't mind if they shared, although I always sort of minded thinking someone else in the family might be born on my birthday. My mom will be here to help us for 9 days! Yay!

And the last thing I can think of is that we got our new furniture from IKEA. Ever since we had Bauer 3 years ago, we realized how much we wished we had gotten leather couches the last time we bought furniture. What we had bought instead were these 2 fabric sofas (cool, nonetheless) from a store in Orlando called Living Quarters. We got a lot of good use out of them, while they got a lot of baby spit-up and probably even some poop and pee included. But even being 5 or 6 yeras old, they were in great shape and still looked cool and modern, especially with the throw pillows TJ made - as in went to Joanne's Fabrics, ordered fabric, and used an old-fashioned sewing machine - to go on the couches. (Yes, my husband is very talented and you only wish you could be so lucky).

But ever since knowing we were going to have our second baby, I've been saying how much I'd like to have a recliner so I would have a comfortable place to sit and nurse the baby in the middle of the night and a place to rest with the baby during the day. In addition, both me and TJ knew we wanted leather whenever we would buy new furniture, so we had been looking at couches recently, trying to decide where to buy and what combination of pieces we might like.

We settled pretty quickly on IKEA (duh!) and now have a black leather couch, a black leather recliner, and one other fun funky chair with a light blue and green leaf pattern that is the same shaped frame as the recliner. The two chairs look nice together and to top it off even more, one end of the couch also reclines and the other end has a built in chaise lounger. I never thought I'd be into that either, but it is really nice and Bauer enjoy leaning over it and playing. We were able to sell both our old couches on the very day after we had the new furniture delivered. Thank God for CraigsList and for God Himself. That was a blessing to get that furniture off our hands just in the nick of time since we would have had no place to store it. And don't you know that money came in handy for our new Bob stroller!

Quick Garden Post

2008-08-05T22:37:00.012-05:00

How did this

become this?

Yeah, I know, it's more of a jungle than a garden.

But look what we're eating!

It's very timely that I'm now reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I am only through the first chapter, but I am totally trucking with the idea, as presented on page 9:

"This is the story of a year in which we made every attempt to feed ourselves animals and vegetables whose provenance we really knew. We tried to wring most of the petroleum out of our food chain, even if that meant giving up some things. Our highest shopping goal was to get our food from so close to home, we'd know the person who grew it. Often that turned out to be us, as we learned to produce more of what we needed, starting with dirt, seeds, and enough knowledge to muddle through. Or starting with baby animals and enough sense to refrain from naming them."

Cars Dilemma

2008-07-30T16:07:00.006-05:00

My dilemma comes because I am a collector but not a saver. Let me explain.

I love for things to be simple in our home. I like to know exactly what I have and where each thing is. There is a place for everything and if there isn't a place for it, or if I know I won't use it, or if I just don't like it, then I don't keep it. I find myself often searching around the house for things to get rid of, or things to sell at a garage sale, or to give away to the library or the Goodwill. It's almost a hobby of mine. And the end result is that we just don't have a lot of extra, unneeded stuff. I do realize we have a ton of stuff compared to most of the world. But compared to most people in America, we are pretty sparing, and it's on purpose because we like to keep a simple house, not to mention, it's a small house with only 3 closets (1 shared between the 2 bedrooms, a linen closet, and a coat closet which is full of coats because we live near Chicago now) and that really forces you to get rid of things you don't need.

Even with Bauer's toys, I am very intentional to keep things pared down. Most of his toys have been given to him from different family members or friends for different occasions, and some we have purchased at garage sales. A few things we have bought at regular price, but overall his toy selection is pretty limited compared with most of his buddies, which makes their houses so much fun for him!

I have been thinking lately that Bauer would probably be truly content with 2 toys. One is his wooden train set from IKEA which is actually probably 40 wooden track pieces and 10 train cars, so in reality that is 50+ pieces, but once it's all assembled (a process which happens again and again numerous times a day -- and for anyone who has had to listen to a 2 year old endlessly repeat/whine "new track," then I feel your pain), it's really like one big toy that takes up most of our living room floor and which I trip over multiple times a day.

The second toy is actually a group of toys: the Cars movie cars. Here is the line-up.

As you can see, Bauer has ended up with a pretty decent collection of these cars so far, and that was without us really trying at all. His first few were given to him by a friend of ours for Easter this past spring, which is also around the time TJ bought the Cars movie for Bauer. And ever since then, Bauer has really enjoyed the Cars characters. My mom has bought a few of the cars for him, including the green hummer called "TJ" because she just couldn't resist, and another one was a gift from our cousin Chase this summer at the beach. The rest of them I guess we have bought for him for one reason or another. I know we have given Bauer a couple as rewards for filling up his "Dry Pull-Up" chart on the fridge, but that takes a while so it's not like an every day or even every week occurrence. Still, I feel like he has collected quite a few different characters since back in March or whenever Easter was this year.

But here is what has happened. I have started wanting to build his collection. First it was only Bauer who wanted to go play with the cars every time we went to Target. But now I must admit that I want to go to that aisle too so I can see which of the cars they have for sale that we don't have. I haven't found Target to be the best place for looking, though, as it seems they mostly have lots of the same ones Bauer already has, or ones that look very similar to the ones he has (like the many variations of Lightning McQueen). I still want to get more of the different characters because getting too crazy with the variations on the same characters.

Well, today we ended up in Bolingbrook where we were meeting some friends at an aquatic park, but we were there 45 minutes early after dropping TJ off at the airport and not really having time to drive all the way back home in between. I couldn't find the Target I thought was nearby, so I ended up going into Meijer, which for those of you not in the Midwest, is a big superstore kind of like SuperTarget or a WalMart Supercenter. Meijer actually has a good toy selection, so we went there to kill some time letting Bauer play with the toys in the toy section. But of course, I had to look at the Cars cars while we were there.

And wouldn't you know, they had about as big of a selection as I have ever seen of the cars! I got very excited and started picking out all the ones I wanted to get for Bauer. I knew I wouldn't just give them to him for no reason, but I could already feel myself wanting a reason to give him a car here, a car there, a car everywhere, so he can have more of the characters and a more complete collection. I ended up deciding to buy several of them and telling myself I would think about the dilemma of wanting to help build a collection (I'm thinking this will be a fun thing to keep for years in the future, kind of like collecting baseball cards or something else) vs. not wanting Bauer to end up with too many toys or us end up with too much stuff just because we are so blessed in America and can buy these unnecessary things if we so desire. So I'm writing this blog as a first step in thinking through my desire - what is the truer desire? To have a good collection or to have less?

What is Bauer's desire? What will I desire a year from now? Are the cars going to automatically disappear from all store shelves if I don't buy them now? Am I going to spoil Bauer by letting him earn cars too easily just because I want him to have more? And do I want him to have more, or less?

Lots of good questions. I haven't figured out my answers yet, though. And I take solace in knowing all the cars I bought today, which are still in the Meijer bag sitting on our dryer, are 100% returnable, once I decide how I feel about all this. I think I'll at least keep the Guido/Luigi/Tractor set because that seemed to be Bauer's favorite one today of all the ones we looked at and hey - you get 3 for 1 in a package.

Our Weekend

2008-07-27T22:19:00.002-05:00

We had a garage sale Saturday and only made $13. It was like a gas station on a corner that goes out of business. It seems like a good idea to be on a busy corner, but people don't want to stop or they are too busy getting through the intersection to even realize what else is going on around them.

After the first hour and half of our sale, and having only made $2 ($1 each from 2 different people, and third couple that chose only to take a couple things we had marked for FREE - not that I minded at all by that point, as I was just happy to get rid of the stuff), we decided to pack it all back in our big garage sale box and take everything to Goodwill. When we were about halfway done putting everything in the box, another person stopped by and spent $11. So that gave us $13.

Thankfully, we had decided to sell the microwave earlier in the week on Craigslist and made $20 for that instead of the $8 we had hoped to get at the garage sale. I doubt that would have happened considering we only had 4 customers.

So that gave us $33, but to top it off, as TJ was taking the Fisher-Price tricycle we had tried to sell at the garage sale to this children's consignment store later in the morning on Saturday, a lady coming out of the store stopped him and offered to give him more than the store would offer him for the tricycle. It ended up she was willing to give him $20 when the store was only going to give him $7.50.

So with that, we actually made $53 on the stuff we had hoped to sell at the garage sale. And with that exact amount of money, TJ found a stroller at the same consignment store and bought it! It's a Graco stroller to replace the Graco MetroLite we have had since Bauer was born. That thing is just about toast. I wish I knew how many miles I have walked with it. It is just not in very good working condition anymore, so we had been thinking that regardless of whether we get some kind of double stroller, we really were also going to need a replacement for our regular stroller. And we wanted something the infant seat we already have would fit into. This "new" Graco stroller TJ got at the consignment store is just what we were looking for. It's more like a deluxe umbrella stroller than the MetroLite we have, meaning it is smaller and lighter weight, but the good thing is it still holds the infant seat in it. Or if I want to carry the baby in a sling sometimes, Bauer can ride in the stroller.

We are still trying to figure out what to do about a stroller for both kids, but one thing we are considering is a Bob brand double jogging stroller. They are expensive but seem to be the best, based on the reviews online as well as us checking one out at a local baby gear store. I just want a good stroller I can use to walk for exercise and be able to bring both kids along. We had been considering one of the "Sit 'n Stand" type of strollers but I don't really think that would work that well since Bauer would probably just want to get out all the time while I was trying to walk fast. We also don't really want a regular double stroller because they are just too heavy and cumbersome and wouldn't be good for pushing while walking for exercise. It seems a nice double jogging stroller is the best option at this point, and even though I know it would be heavy, I most likely would just leave it in the garage and use it just for this purpose or if we were walking a longer distance as a family (like when we walked to Ribfest over 4th of July weekend) and needed a place for both kids to sit. For everyday use (such as going to Target or taking a leisurely walk downtown), my plan is to use the new Graco stroller we just bought at the consignment store and just put the baby in there in the infant seat and let Bauer walk beside me or ride in the shopping cart if we're in a store.

If anyone has any thoughts to share on what has worked or not worked for them with 2 kids, please comment.

Today was a nice day. We went to church this morning and afterwards we went to our friends' The Meyers house for a potluck lunch. We had invited some other friends to join us, but no one else could come, so it ended up just being us. It was still a lot of fun to be with them, especially since Bauer loves playing with their little boy Branton. Both boys were pretty tired around lunchtime today, though, so there was a bit of crying and lack of sharing, but it was still nice to spend some time with friends.

Bauer had a short nap, which meant my nap was even shorter, considering I didn't fall asleep until probably an hour and twenty minutes into Bauer's nap. I thought Bauer was in a bad mood after his nap, but he ended up putting on one of his CDs and I think the music lifted his spirits because for probably about an hour, he listened to his music and played his guitar and tried out all his different musical instruments. TJ got some of it on video and hopefully he can post some of it soon on the Vox blog.

While Bauer played his music (which he did in our bedroom - he came trooping in with the big CD player in hand), and TJ participated in that with Bauer (including doing some videotaping of Bauer), I was sorting through the new baby clothes I received at the baby shower my friends had for me last weekend, as well as looking at the items I already had on hand from when Bauer was just born. It was fun to go back through everything and see what we have and what we need. We actually got a lot of really nice things at the shower and in almost all the right sizes. I have just a few exchanges to do at Babies R Us later this week, as well as a few other items to purchase from our registry that were not purchased but that are essentials.

After the music time and clothes sorting time, we decided to take a walk to Trader Joe's. It's actually 2 miles from our house, so we decided we better drive to downtown to shave about 0.7 miles off the distance since that's how far we live from the center of downtown. We took the stroller and then walked the rest of the way. It was fun to be outside and to do something different than we usually do. We could have easily just driven to Trader Joe's and been back home within half an hour, but instead we spent probably an hour and a half making the trip. By the time we got home and had dinner, it was after 7pm. So before long, it was the bath and bedtime routine for Bauer and then downtime for me and TJ.

Tonight we finished reading a book that we have been reading together for the past 10 or so weeks. It is the book Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner, which is a book my friend Miska recommended to me and I read earlier in the year and really enjoyed. It was one I thought TJ would like too, so we decided to read it together, just one chapter each Sunday evening. It's good to start something like that and actually finish it. I think TJ enjoyed it too. We might pick another book to read together.

But first we each have our Bradley books to read. At our first Bradley class last week, we were given 3 books, one for mom, one for dad, and one for the both of us. The one for the both of us was the Henci Goer book I had just finished reading, so that's done already. The one for me to read is Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way (by Susan McCutcheon) and I'm not sure I'll actually read the whole thing, but I do plan to scan it and look for things I think will be helpful. I am kind of stuck on the whole hypnobirthing method at the moment and really want to get that one down and not be trying to take in too many things at once. The one for TJ to read, if he wants to, is by Robert Bradley and is called Husband-Coached Childbirth.

What I am most excited to read, however, is a book my friend Hannah recommended to me. It's called Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and is by Barbara Kingsolver. I just bought it at Borders with a giftcard that I received at my baby shower ("a gift for mommy" as the card said). The book is about a family that chose to eat locally for a whole year. Either they had to buy their food locally, or grow it themselves, or go without it. It sounds like such an interesting idea to me to do that. It would be really strange not to be able to have bananas for a year. How could I make smoothies?

Best Birthday

2008-07-23T14:01:00.012-05:00

I had a really great birthday this year. It was last Thursday, July 17th, and I turned 29. I am happy to be odd again.

I received at least 4 voicemails with people singing Happy Birthday to me on the phone (it was a busy day so I wasn't able to answer my phone much at all that day), I think I had 19 posts on my Facebook wall telling me Happy Birthday, and I got many nice cards and gifts.

My best gift was tickets to see the Cirque du Soleil show "Kooza" that is on tour in Chicago this summer. TJ surprised me by getting us tickets and then he surprised me again by taking me to dinner before the show. We went to La Sorella in downtown Naperville and I had only been there one other time (a long time ago) and had been wanting to go back. I didn't even know TJ knew I wanted to go back so much, but when he told me we were going there, I was so happy. It is a fine-dining restaurant and though I wore green capri pants and a gray faded American Eagle t-shirt (my new favorite outfit, which is why I was wearing it on my birthday and for the 3 days after!), I didn't feel out of place at all. We had a great table by the window and enjoyed some delicious Italian food, and on top of that the service was great too. They even brought a little Italian dessert to our table for free, in honor of my birthday, after we finished our meals. I can't remember what it was called but it had some unusual cookie-type things, ice cream and hot fudge. You can't go wrong with hot fudge, no matter what.

The Cirque show was simply amazing. I would have paid the entire amount for the tickets just to see the contortionist act and the juggler act. Both were things that humans shouldn't be able to do. I just sat there in shock and awe, and thoroughly enjoyed our evening out. I am convinced that all of the Cirque shows (even though I've only seen 2 different ones at this point) are worth every penny they cost and more. There is no other entertainment that I know of that is quite so entertaining. TJ did good, didn't he?

He also gave me the new Jewel CD I had been wanting, plus another gift that I had not thought of to wish for, but it's a great gift too. It's a digital postal scale. We mail stuff all the time, it seems, and now rather than wish my package at the post office was 0.1 oz lighter so I could send it first class instead of priority or whatever the deal on that stuff is, now I can just weigh it at home and look at my handy-dandy laminated chart TJ made for me with all the rates and if I need to take out one piece of tissue paper or pop one bubble in the bubble wrap to get the weight down, I can do it and save money. How nice!

Other gifts I received were:
-3 books: The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted (Elizabeth Berg), At Home in Mitford (Jan Karon), and Living Prayer (Robert Benson)
-knife sharpener
-THE coolest apron ever from Anthropologie (see below)
-picnic quilt
-subscription to Kiwi magazine
-Target giftcard
-3 checks ($$$)
-flower topiary (see below)
-a hand-decorated journal
-lunch at Whole Foods with a friend
-and last but not least, my second favorite gift: a homemade "altered" sister scrapbook.

The last thing is from my sister Holly, obviously. It is such a unique gift that will be treasured forever. Holly said she was working on it for over a year, to find the right album, the right kinds of pages, the pictures of us as sisters from all throughout our lives to go in it, and then all kinds of very cool little trinkets/quotes/antique-y looking stickers/etc to decorate the pages with. I LOVE IT!! I cried when I read the note she included with it, and I'm not too much of a crier usually. But this is a most special gift from my third favorite person in the whole world. I wish everyone had a sister like Holly. Not Holly herself, though, because I'd like to keep her for myself. I'm lucky.

Birthday Letter

2008-07-17T06:40:00.009-05:00

Hey you!
It’s your birthday.
You were born into this big world 29 years ago this morning
And you still have life, which, like pizza,
Even when it’s bad, it’s good.

You are a combination chosen from many other combinations
Because the world needed you.
You, with your big toes that are shorter than your second toes.
You, with your one missing wisdom tooth that never came in.
With your blue eyes and nicely shaped ears
And your skinny limbs, which you inherited from your dad.

You did not know it then,
Because you were a tiny creature just arrived on the scene,
But your life was started on a journey that won’t end.
You are becoming more of who you really are
And the start of a new birth year is a celebration of that becoming
Because you are a more whole person than you were a year ago.
And by next year, you will have even more to celebrate.

Having children has brought not only them into the light,
But you as well.
You are opening to the world in ways you have not had to before,
Even on the day you were born.
The world welcomed you, and now you are welcoming the world.
You are learning to live, which is what we have all been waiting for.

Yes, you could still be more free.
And you still need patience and to learn the art of detachment –
Not wanting certain things to happen.
But your simple love for words has given you more life this year
And your awareness of life itself has brought with it
An intentionality that is admirable.
You do feel things even when you wish you felt more
And you are letting yourself embrace more than you think.
And you still love blue. And country music. And birds.

I know you also love those big white-rimmed D&G sunglasses,
The ones that cost $159 at The Sunglass Hut,
Because they make you feel like a celebrity -
Like Mary Kate and Ashley,
Who can buy four pairs of sunglasses just like that.
But you are famous to other people:
To your friends, to your husband, to your children, to your parents.
Your existence has made their existence what it is.
And you have a great sister,
Which is worth a lot more than cool sunglasses,
Although she would probably like a pair too.

Happy Birthday, you!

New WF

2008-07-16T20:08:00.005-05:00

I went to the new Whole Foods today with my friend Jaime. It was the grand opening day, so pretty exciting stuff to be among the crowds. It is a much bigger store than the one I have been going to in Wheaton. They even have a gelato bar and the smalls are only $1.99, which seems cheap to me for Whole Foods.

Instead of price stickers on the shelves, almost every item had a little computerized screen just beneath the item with the price shown on it. I didn't think it looks as good as the paper print out prices/stickers you normally see, but I guess it will be easy for them to raise the prices as gas goes up. I am always so surprised that the carrots I buy for juicing have continued to hold at $3.99 for a 5-lb bag. So many other things have gone up, not just at Whole Foods, but at Meijer and Target too. What can you do though? You have to eat and I'm not talking Little Debbie oatmeal creme pies at $1.00 for a box of 10 or 12.

Speaking of which, I was craving one of those lately, so I spent a dollar on a box and have had just one so far. Even if all I eat is one, it was worth the dollar.

I am trying to convince Bauer that if he lets me sell his big red Elmo chair (a.k.a. our living room eyesore) and his big orange stuffed Tigger (which we got at our church's garage sale a while back for $1.00), then I'll let him use the money from the sale of the items to buy whatever he wants at Target, which means a new Cars car. Either that, or some kind of noise-making garbage truck, which he probably won't have enough money for. We intended to have a garage sale last week, but the forecast called for rain on Saturday morning, and we hadn't put our garage sale sign out on Friday like I had hoped, so we decided to postpone it till this Saturday. I'm glad we postponed because Bauer ended up sleeping in till 8am last Saturday so it was nice that we got to sleep in too.

I have had some trouble sleeping lately, but I guess that is to be expected in late pregnancy. I have been having these restless leg syndrome tingles, and it makes it hard to go to sleep. But as long as I can get up and go lie on the couch and read, I'm happy. I slept from 12:30am-5:30am last night, but didn't feel very tired today after all. I guess it's all the excitement of the week, and knowing I was getting to read when I couldn't sleep. I am almost done with the book on hypnobirthing and have been learning a lot about this method of natural birthing. It is so interesting to hear the terms the author uses to describe all the things that go along with birth (surges, for instance, instead of contractions, and breathing the baby down instead of pushing the baby out). I am liking the overall feeling I am getting from the book and plan to begin practicing some of the breathing and relaxation techniques later in the week.

I had another doctor's appointment today and am continuing to progress normally. They said I probably won't have another ultrasound, unless for some reason they can't tell if the baby has turned in a few weeks. I told the doctor I met with today that I am planning for a natural birth this time and she seemed open and accommodating to my desire. The practice I go to has 5 different doctors and I know I'll be seeing at least 2 others of them before my due date (wait, the book calls it "birthing time/month" so as not to make an expectant mom feel any pressure to go on or even very close to that particular date), so I plan to just tell each one as I see them and hope they are all as open as the lady today.

The Cirque du Soleil is tomorrow - a 2 1/2 hour show!! I can't wait. And I don't mind turning 29 because I'll be an odd number again. And then next year, I won't mind turning 30 because that's when I'll get a tattoo. And then 31 will be odd again. Don't know about 32 though. At least then, I will have been married 10 years! And maybe that means I will have seen about 4 more Cirque shows by then since I keep telling TJ I want to go to Las Vegas for our 10th anniversary to see all the Cirque shows out there. Either that, or a trip to Europe sans kids.

More Birth Info

2008-07-13T21:22:00.003-05:00

I have no idea how interested those of you who read my blog are in all my birth plans, but I figured I would write about one other thing I'm going to try that I didn't think to mention in my post while ago.

I am going to be taking some home remedies to try and prevent testing positive to the Group B Strep test that pregnant women are screened for between 35 and 37 weeks. My doula suggested several things that I can take for a few weeks leading up to the screen that will give a better chance of me testing negative (if you test positive, they give you an antibiotic through an IV during your delivery to avoid possibly passing on the illness to your baby).

I am going to be taking chewable Acidophilus (probiotic), chewable Vitamin C, and liquid grapefruit seed extract which I will mix into juice or a smoothie. I have to take chewable everything because when I swallow pills, I usually start to feel like the pill is stuck or I have a choking sensation. My prenatal vitamins are chewable too. I am really not that good at being consistent with taking pills of any kind, but I am really going to try and do this for at least the next 2 weeks to up my chances of testing negative. I wonder how much just thinking you are going to test negative can cause negative results. Probably a lot, given the power of positive thinking. But nonetheless, I am sure the Vitamin C will boost my immune system and I know taking probiotics is good. So I don't mind taking these things anyway.

Exciting Week Ahead

2008-07-13T20:35:00.002-05:00

I have some fun things to look forward to this week. Monday night, I am meeting my friend Amber for coffee (my latest drink of choice is an iced vanilla latte) so TJ will put Bauer to bed. That is always a nice break to have.

Tuesday evening I will be picking up my friend Jaime from the airport after her trip to GA so I know I will enjoy talking to her and hearing about her trip.

On Wednesday, Jaime and I are having lunch at the new Whole Foods. Their grand opening is that day so we've been planning to go there ever since we found out when it was going to open.

Thursday is my birthday and that night TJ and I are going to the Cirque du Soleil show that is on tour in Chicago. TJ surprised me with the tickets a few weeks back. He wouldn't have told me in advance except that I heard about the show and was bugging him to go online and see how much the tickets were. We are going to dinner somwhere (that's still a surprise) and then to the 8pm show. Bauer will be staying overnight with my friend Meghan, Nico's mom.

And then to top it all off, Friday night is my baby shower, including a cake from "I'll Bring Dessert," which is the business this lady at our church has and is where TJ ordered my birthday cake from last year as a surprise. I remember how good it was, so I'm very excited to have another cake made by Wendy. It will be a triple chocolate pound cake with chocolate icing, which doesn't sound nearly as good as it is.

Tomorrow marks 34 weeks for me, so that means only 6 weeks to go, if I make it that long. We toured the OB unit of the hospital today and I had a chance to meet several of the Labor & Delivery nurses, including one in particular that a friend of mine had a couple years ago when she had her baby (and labored naturally) at this same hospital. She said this nurse Sheila was so happy to have the chance to work with a mom wanting a natural birth since most moms go the medicated route and my friend had a great experience having her as her nurse. So I was hoping Sheila would still be working there and in fact, she was working today so I got to meet her. Not only did she seem very open and accommodating to the idea of a natural birth, but at least three of the other nurses who were sitting at the nurse's station at that time also seemed very eager and encouraging to help me when my time comes. I guess it is getting to be a little more common these days for people to desire natural childbirth. I was hoping I wasn't going to feel ostracized or like the nurses would roll their eyes thinking "oh, not another one of these crazy moms." And I didn't feel that way at all today, nor do I think I will feel that way when I am at the hospital to give birth. That was very encouraging to me today.

A Big Decision

2008-07-09T15:14:00.002-05:00

Last week, TJ and I met with, and then subsequently, hired a doula named Lisa. We are very excited to be working with Lisa during the rest of this pregnancy and especially during my labor. Our plan is for me to have a natural birth, meaning no epidural and no pain medications. This is the exact opposite of what I did with Bauer, so needless to say, I am out of my element.

But at the same time, I feel excited about the challenge and the good things that can come of this. I am not even sure of all the good things - I know breastfeeding is supposed to go more smoothly initially, and I know the "hormone cocktail" that is released in one's brain after giving birth naturally is supposed to help with bonding and cannot be reproduced in any other way.

We are going to be attending a few Bradley classes that Lisa teaches to learn about some relaxation techniques and the stages of labor. We won't make it to all the sessions before my due date, so Lisa is going to meet with us one-on-one a few times in order to try to give us a sort of crash course on the things we need to know. In addition, she is going to help us write a birth plan. I am very grateful to have help with this because writing a birth plan was something I was already hoping to do in regards to what I don't want the hospital to do to the baby (no Hep B vaccine, no antibiotic eyedrops, etc). Having Lisa's expertise in writing the birth plan, both concerning myself and concerning the baby, will be very valuable.

Her doula services also include her being available via phone or email anytime now through the birth for me to ask questions or get advice. And then, most importantly, when I go into labor, we will be calling her to come over to our house to help me labor at home and stay as comfortable as possible during this process. She will use different techniques that we will have already discussed beforehand (such as massage and other things I am not even aware of at this point) to help me make it through the initial stages of labor. Once my contractions are 2-3 minutes apart, Lisa said I will be ready to head to the hospital and she will accompany us. The hospital where I am delivering is less than 5 minutes away, so there should be plenty of time to get there and get situated before the baby comes.

Even though I have some first-time nerves already, I am convinced it will be so nice to have not only TJ's support (which Lisa said is crucial, especially during the transition stage of labor when I will probably begin to think that I can't do this), but also the support of someone as knowledgeable and experienced as Lisa seems to be to help me through this.

A book that Lisa highly recommended is called The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer and my friend Shannon (who had a natural birth with her son Chase) recommended a book by Marie Mongan called Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method. Hypnobirthing is an entirely different method altogether than the Bradley Method, but Lisa said to use them in combination would be fine. In fact, one woman she worked with who used things from both methods was so much in a zone that Lisa said she seemed to feel no pain whatsoever. I'd love for that to happen, but at this point, I am just hoping to gain some valuable insights from both methods that I can apply when the time comes in order to reduce the fear of pain, and thus the pain itself. I ordered both books from Amazon and have begun my "before baby" reading.

We are scheduled to take a tour of the OB unit at the hospital this coming Sunday and then the following Sunday our Bradley classes begin. We have made a list of some things we still need to buy and things we need to do before the baby arrives, so at this point, I'm feeling fairly organized. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed a few nights ago, which is what inspired the list, and TJ was great to sit with me and help me think through everything.

We also spent some time that night talking about how we feel we are doing as parents to Bauer and that was a very good conversation to have. We thought of a few things we'd like to change (one is to make breakfast more of a sit-down meal for Bauer, as opposed to him just snacking all morning; another is to be aware of when we are being critical of Bauer for making mistakes when the mistakes are generally just something any 2-year old would do and not something needing criticism or even correction), as well as a few things we feel we are succeeding at (one is praising and encouraging Bauer when he does something well like listening; another is not using the counting method 1-2-3 to indicate when we would like Bauer to do something).

We are happy to be parents because of how it has changed us and continues to change us. And we are excited about welcoming another child into our lives. We have so much to be thankful for, especially the gorgeous weather we are experiencing in Naperville this time of year. We went to dinner in downtown this evening and had burgers and fries at a place called The Lantern. They are known for their burgers is what we had heard. Burger, fries and a Coke for 6 bucks, is what Annette, our Trolley Tour Guide, told us a few weeks ago when we did the trolley tour, and we happened to see her in there tonight when we were eating. It was a good burger and a fun family outing. We walked around downtown for a little while after eating and that is always so much fun to me.

Benedict, Baby, and Bauer

2008-07-02T14:48:00.005-05:00

I am learning about St. Benedict. It started with my reading of two Kathleen Norris books, Amazing Grace and The Cloister Walk. Kathleen Norris has spent a good deal of time living among some Benedictine monks within their communities and a lot of her writing and thinking has been influenced by their way of life.

I ordered two books from Amazon to continue my journey into the thinking of St. Benedict. The books are A Good Life by Robert Benson and The Rule of St. Benedict edited by Timothy Fry. I started the Robert Benson one today and all I can say thus far is "yes." Here are some bits and pieces just from the first chapter.

We are given lots of power tools - faxes and computers and telephones and automobiles - and yet we still have only the one mind and the one heart and the one spirit.

All of the bits and pieces of our lives, large and small, must be held up in the light of our longing to live for and with God.

It was a case of the longing of my heart encountering a structure that nurtured and fulfilled that longing at the same time....I learned that I could live the monastic life interiorly.

I began to see that one might construct a way of living that no longer separated one's spiritual life from the rest of one's life.

I am thinking Benedict would be a pretty great middle name for the baby.

Speaking of baby, I'm looking into getting a "Hot Sling" for the baby. My friend Jaime has one for her little girl Callie, and the baby looked so cute and comfy in there.

I'm also considering a "Hooter Hider." These seem to be pretty popular these days and since I plan to nurse, I think I would have plenty of opportunities to use it since I won't be sitting at home as much as I did with Bauer since now there is Bauer to take out and do things with.

I have less than 8 weeks now until my due date of 8/25. But I am hoping for an August 16 baby. There are a number of reasons. One is that my birthday is July 17 and Bauer's is Sept 15. So to have Aug 16 in the middle would be perfect. The other reason is that my good friend Jaime's birthday is Jan 17 and mine is July 17. Her son Branton's is Feb 15 and Bauer's is Sept 15. And her new little girl Callie's is May 16 and so to keep it up, we need Aug 16. Also the other Jamie in our playgroup had her little girl back in Jan on the 16th, so all the playgroup 2nd babies thus far are born on 16s. And since I'm already stuck with an even-numbered month and year this time around (8 and 8), I might as well go for an even date in there too.

A little Bauer update is that he still is a train fanatic. TJ took him on the train to Chicago on Monday morning so that I could have some time to myself. I took him to the train station yesterday afternoon and we watched 5 Metras come into and leave the station. Bauer is in heaven when we are at the train station. And then when we get home from the train station, or anywhere for that matter, he just wants to play with his train. We even have the rug pulled back in our living room lately so that Bauer has plenty of room for his wooden track on the floor. We just leave it out all the time now, although it does get moved from room to room at times.

A few other things Bauer loves lately are:
1) The Complete Book of Farmyard Tales, one of those Usborne books with the little yellow duck hiding on each page, although Bauer cares nothing about the duck. It's a book of 20 stories that my grandmother gave to Bauer for his birthday or Christmas last year and all the stories take place on a farm. There are four stories at the end that involve a train and don't you doubt that Bauer knows and loves those four especially.

2) Cold toast. Bauer asks for this daily, often multiple times a day now. It is the Ezekiel Cinnamon Raisin bread that we keep in the freezer and Bauer loves to eat it cold off of a plate.

3) Being barefoot. He likes taking off his sandals, like at the train station yesterday, and going barefoot. Ever since the beach, I'm more okay with him getting dirty. He even ran around at the park for over an hour yesterday with no socks and shoes after he wanted to play in the sandbox there and I let him. When we get home, he gets to sit up on the bathroom counter and we wash his hands and feet at the same time.

4) All things Cars, as in the movie. He wants to listen to the music from the movie on our computer and run around the house with TJ. That's what they did this morning while I was at my doctor's appointment and what Bauer asks to do after dinner lately. Bauer has a collection of the cars toys from the movie and he is earning more by keeping his pull-ups dry at naps and nighttime. He has to fill a chart with 16 Cars stickers and then he gets a new car.

5) Not sure if this is one of Bauer's loves, but we did take him to his first movie this past weekend. He had been enjoying watching Cars so much on our vacation that we thought perhaps he would enjoy a full-length film at the movies. We went to see Wall-E, and TJ had prepped him for it earlier in the day by showing him some of the trailers online. We had heard it got good reviews in general, although the reviews for a small kid were mixed, especially with this movie not being as action-packed as Cars or other Pixar films. But it was a rainy day and going to the movies as a family sounded like a fun thing to do. So we did. And Bauer sat through the whole thing and did great. He had to go potty two times, but that was expected, and I had to go once, and that was also expected. The movie was okay - not too much of a storyline - and sort of dark (not dark as in scary or bad, but dark as in not bright and colorful and cheery like Cars or Toy Story). I think that actually could be why Bauer was able to watch the whole hour and a half of it without wanting to turn it off. When he watches Cars, he is usually done after about an hour but I think it's because it's too stimulating for him with all the colors and noise and characters to keep up with. So maybe Wall-E was a good first movie for him. Now that we have seen the movie, Bauer asks to see the "trolley" but he leaves out the L's, so it's more like "tra-eee." At first we weren't sure what he was asking for, but we realized that is what he calls the Wall-E trailers. So the Wall-E experience lives on, although I don't plan to buy him any of those toys, if they even make them.

TJ's Handiwork

2008-06-27T10:19:00.002-05:00

Please take a look here.

Early Birthday Gifts

2008-06-26T14:03:00.004-05:00

It has been our family tradition while at the beach each summer to celebrate birthdays. My aunt Suzy's birthday is in June, mine and my sister's birthdays are in July, and my dad and grandmother's birthdays are in August. And now my new baby's birthday is about to be in August.

As long as my grandparents were coming for the beach trip, we would always sort of emphasize my grandmother's birthday and add on everyone else for a combined party. Every year we would get this special-order chocolate cake with chocolate icing from a local bakery and we would have a party and open presents and eat cake. It was something fun we did every year.

Well, this year, we didn't really do a party but my mom and aunt had brought along the birthday gifts to give me since we won't be together for my birthday in July. We decided not to get a cake since there is no Publix around (and since back in April when we visited Clemson, we all ate enough Publix cake to last us a number of months!). I have a cake on order anyway from a lady at our church who has her own business - it's the same cake TJ got for me as a surprise for my birthday last year, but this year it's going to be a combined birthday/baby shower cake since my friends are having a baby shower for me right around the time of my birthday.

As far as this year's birthday party at the beach, it wasn't much of a party without a cake and without celebrating other birthdays at the same, but it was nice nonetheless, especially since I was the one receiving the gifts :)

Bauer helped me open the presents and here is what I received: the new Elizabeth Berg book called The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted from my mom, a knife sharpener from my dad, and a colorful thin quilt to use for picnics or on the beach from both my parents. All three things were things I was really hoping to get this year for my birthday, so of course I liked them all. My aunt and uncle and cousin gave me a giftcard to Target (to use on myself, not on Bauer or the baby), but they also gave us a baby gift of a little matching gown and hat set and some oh-so-tiny blue booties.

Instead of cake, we ate Jello Pudding Pops. These were a favorite dessert of mine and my sister's when we were little and would visit my grandparents who lived in Charlotte at the time. The box contained (and still contains) 3 variety of pudding pops: chocolate (in a brown wrapper), vanilla (in a blue wrapper), and chocolate-vanilla swirl (in a red wrapper). I couldn't remember the exact flavors that went with each color, but the taste of the pudding pops is practically identical. They are not in the same shape as they used to be, however. They used to be rectangular-shaped, sort of flattened-out, and on a wooden stick and the wrappers were made of paper. Now the bars are more square-shaped like a Fudgsicle. They are still on wooden sticks, but the wrappers are made of plastic. I wish stuff like that didn't have to change.

And now here is the point in my blog when I am supposed to have something profound to say about change. But really, I'm just going to go read some more of my book The Other Boleyn Girl because it's a good story and because the sooner I finish it, the sooner I will get to start reading The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted and the sooner that happens, the sooner I may become a woman liberated and changed.

And then maybe I will have something profound to say about change.

A Happy Meal

2008-06-23T15:31:00.006-05:00

Yesterday as we were driving to the beach for vacation with my family, I had one of those rare few moments of feeling like everything was just so right with the world. We had been making great time on the road and Bauer had been asleep for nearly an hour and a half and had just woken up happy. It was dinnertime and we were all feeling hungry and wanting to stop soon. It was raining pretty hard, but that was no damper.

We decided to stop at McDonald's, mainly because I had been wanting to try their new Southern Style Chicken Sandwich, which we had 3 free coupons for. Bauer had eaten up most of all the meal-type food I'd brought along for him and I was thinking maybe he could get his first Happy Meal. Honestly, I don't think he even knew what McDonald's was, up till this point. I knew he would like the fries, but I wasn't sure on the burger. I got him the basic hamburger Happy Meal with apple juice (which surprisingly has zero added sugar) and it seemed to be a fun experience for him. He loved the little toy he got from the Kung Fu Panda movie and he ate his whole hamburger (his first real hamburger, in fact, if you can call McDonald's a real hamburger) and some of his fries. He didn't care much for the apple juice, preferring to drink my ice water instead. We've just realized he likes his water cold, and he drinks way more if it has ice. So that is something we'll be incorporating.

TJ and I both got the Southern Style Chicken Sandwiches, which were surprisingly good. The chicken tasted exactly like Chick-fil-A's chicken (which we love) but the bread was kind of weird. It was the soft chewy hamburger bun bread they use for their burgers and that definitely differentiated the sandwiches from Chick-fil-A. Who doesn't like McDonald's fries? And I just had to get a small Coke to round out my meal. TJ tried Mickey D's Sweet Tea and gave it a thumbs-up.

I craved McDonald's back when I was pregnant with Bauer but have probably only eaten there 2 or 3 times in the past 3 years since Bauer was born. So it was high time for another go-at-it. We even decided to get the 2 for $1 apple pies at the end before we left, and I know I haven't had one of those in probably more than 10 years.

Then we were back in the car for more driving and that's when we started listening to country music on the radio and about 6 or 7 songs in a row came on and they were almost all really good ones, starting with Kenny Chesney's "Don't Blink," followed by Taylor Swift's newest one "Shoulda Said No" and then a newer Rascal Flatts song and then Gary Allen's "Watching Airplanes." There were at least 2 or 3 more songs but I can't remember what they were.

Just listening to that music and Bauer being so happy about having a good nap and dinner and me having just eaten whatever I wanted and not feeling bad about it but instead feeling satisfied and like I did something good for my soul, even if not necessarily for my body....all of that, that is what made me have one of those moments where I just felt like this is what it means to be alive.

1 Movie and 2 Quotes

2008-06-14T14:38:00.003-05:00

I forgot to list another movie I have seen since Memorial Day. It was when my sister was in town and was a movie she and her husband had just watched and liked a lot. So we rented it and watched it again with her.

So that makes #7 on my list.
7) Rocket Science

Bauer is very into counting these days. He wants to count everything. He counted the cereal boxes in the cupboard this morning. He counted his pieces of waffle left on his plate, even down to when there was only one, and he held up one finger and counted "1!" He can't even count to 10 completely, but he likes us to count with him. If left on his own, he counts 1, 2, 3, 4, 9, 10.

I have been getting some good things to think about from The Cloister Walk. Here are 2 quotes that I really liked in my reading last night.

The first is Kathleen Norris remembering a conversation she had with a Benedictine sister, who was reflecting on Psalm 131 and the image within that psalm of the soul as "a weaned child on its mothers breast."

Here's the quote by the nun: "One of my greatest freedoms is to see that all the pretenses and defenses I put up in the first part of my life, I can spend the rest of my life taking down. This psalm tells me that I'm a dependent person, and that it's not demeaning."

The next quote is also referring to the psalms: "Though as adults we want answers, we will sometimes settle for poetry."

The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted

2008-06-08T13:29:00.004-05:00

I am very happy to report that I will now be getting $75 haircuts for only $45. Remember when I talked about getting that awesome free haircut from Mikayla, the manager/senior stylist at the salon I go to, but when I called to find out her rates, I realized I couldn't pay the $75 that she charges? So I was just resigning myself to a junior stylist and would continue to hope for the best. But the last haircut I got just wasn't the best. It looked good the first day or two, but as it has begun to grow out, I have had to work on it so much more each morning to get the style to look good.

My neighbor a few doors down works at the salon and I saw her recently out in her yard and she asked me how I liked my haircut, meaning the one done by the new junior stylist I saw. I said it was definitely better than the other junior stylist, but just not as good as when Mikayla did it. My neighbor suggested I call Mikayla and that she may be willing to work with me on rates. So I got up my courage and had decided in my mind that the most I would want to pay would be $45 so that I could also add on $10 for a tip. This would be $55 and with such a good cut, I could stretch it 8 weeks between appointments. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

So I called Mikayla the other day and talked to her and she was so nice about the whole thing. I just told her my neighbor said she may be able to work out a lower rate with me, and before I even told her the amount I was hoping for, she suggested $45 as the lowest she could go. I was obviously so happy. And I already have an appointment made for later this week so I can get my hair back how I love it and enjoy a good haircut while we have company in town next weekend, as well as for our beach trip coming up in 2 weeks.

The company coming into town is TJ's parents. They came last year this same weekend (Father's Day weekend) and we attended a local Naperville festival called "Naper Days." We had such a good time with them being here for that, that we asked them if they would like to come visit the same weekend this year. I've also made reservations for us to do the downtown Naperville Trolley Tour on Friday during the day. I thought that would be something to help us learn about the history of Naperville, plus I know Bauer will enjoy the trolley ride. We will probably eat at Sweet Tomatoes at some point (we still have some Buy One, Get One Free Lunch coupons that we haven't had a chance to use, not to mention it is just a great place to eat a lot but still eat healthy) . I also am thinking we will do the Carillon Moser Bell Tower tour, also in downtown Naperville, which we haven't done yet but I've been wanting to do. So we are anticipating a few fun days with Nana and Papa in town.

I've kind of been thinking that this summer is going to be our summer of movies before the baby comes. I am not really a movie person, but TJ is. He really enjoys watching movies that we rent. Usually we rent from the RedBox at Jewel down the street, but lately I've been wanting to watch some documentaries that I had written down ages ago, and so we had to go to Blockbuster to get those. Thankfully we had some Blockbuster Free Movie coupons from our Discover Card Rewards, but those are now gone. So TJ and I decided to join NetFlix for a while and see how we like it and see if we think it's worth it. It's definitely cheaper than trading in our "cash back" from our Discover card for the Blockbuster certificates.

So now we are the proud managers of a queue.

And all but 1 or 2 of the probably 15 movies in our queue are documentaries, and they all sound so interesting. Our first one was "The Business of Being Born," which was that Ricki Lake project about the differences between hospital births and home births. It was very interesting and eye-opening, although I still think I am going for the hospital birth. The movie did make me consider more strongly the possibility of going all natural, even at the hospital, although I haven't really decided at this point.

The movies we have watched since Memorial Day weekend are below:
1-The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
2-21
3-Cloverfield
4-My Kid Could Paint That (documentary)
5-Stephanie Daley
6-The Business of Being Born (documentary)

If you know me at all and how I am about movies, you will be amazed that I have watched that many movies in such a short time. Which is also probably why I haven't been reading as much lately. But I am fine to take a break somewhat from reading for a while to enjoy some movies with TJ while we have the chance before the new baby in the house makes us only want to sleep.

What I am currently reading, albeit slowly, is another of Kathleen Norris's books, The Cloister Walk, which my friend Miska recommended and is also re-reading at the same time. I am enjoying the book so far, and here are my 2 favorite quotes that I've come across in the 50 or so pages I've read.

"To eat in a monastery refectory is an exercise in humility; daily, one is reminded to put communal necessity before individual preference. While consumer culture speaks only to preferences, treating even whims as needs to be granted (and the sooner the better), monastics sense that this pandering to delusions of self-importance weakens the true self, and diminishes our ability to distinguish desires from needs. It's a price they're not willing to pay." (p. 14-15)

"'The basis of community is not that we have all our personal needs met here, or that we find all our best friends in the monastery,' I once heard a monk say." (p. 22)

I am also about to start reading The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory, which is our neighborhood book club pick for the month of July. It's such a long book that I think I better start now, especially since I'm not reading as much as I was earlier in the year. I just hope it's a good story I can get into during our week at the beach.

I have been thinking that once I'm done with those 2 books I will reserve the month of July for reading up on some baby things that I have probably forgotten (or tried to forget). I want to go back and reread Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. I also want to read for the first time a book my friend Brooke recommended called Dr. Denmark Said It! by Madia Bowman. So those 3 should keep me busy till the baby comes. I know I will have to slip in the Elizabeth Berg book that I'm hoping to get for my birthday in there sometime, though. It is called The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted: And Other Small Acts of Liberation. That's about the best title I have ever heard.

Fun with Holly

2008-05-30T08:33:00.017-05:00

My sister Holly came to visit earlier this week. She and her husband Dwight just moved to Boston a month ago, so that is where she came from. We had a really nice time together.

We went to the train station one afternoon with Bauer after TJ got home from work. It is great fun to watch how excited Bauer gets about trains, even though this is probably at least the 47th time we have gone to see trains this spring. He is mesmerized every time. And it just makes you happy to see how happy he gets, especially when he first sees the light way down the track. He literally jumps for joy and wants everyone around to "come see."

One other thing we did that was really fun was on Wednesday night, after we went to eat dinner at Sweet Tomatoes, Holly and I walked to downtown Naperville and for one and a half hours, we walked and talked and looked for all 40 of the art sculpture pieces that are placed around the downtown area. I do not know how many years this tradition has happened, but it is such a nice touch for the summer. Different businesses in the area sponsor the different pieces and then have an artist paint their piece to somehow represent their business or to have some theme. The pieces add so much life and color to the downtown area and at the end of the season, all of the pieces are sold at an auction to raise money for something (I should know what, shouldn't I?). Last year there were mermaid benches, dolphins, and some kind of bird baths. In fact, here's a picture of Holly and me last summer with one of the dolphins.

This year, there are frog seats, dragonfly benches, snail houses, and butterfly birdbaths. Holly and I walked around and found 32 of the 40 pieces and I got a picture of each one. I have since seen 2 more pieces that we didn't see that night, so I want to get pictures of those sometime, as well as look for the remaining 6. Here are pictures of a few of our favorites we saw that night in each different design. The last picture is me this past Monday, at 27 weeks.

My Recent Non-Experience with the Glucose Screening Test

2008-05-27T21:15:00.004-05:00

I had my most recent doctor's visit last Friday, when I was at 26 1/2 weeks of this pregnancy. Having typed that, I now realize I am in the 3rd trimester at this point. Wow.

At the doctor's visit I had before this last one, the doctor told me it was almost time for me to have the Glucose Screening Test, which is routinely done to check for gestational diabetes. I asked the doctor if the test was required, and he said required is a tricky word. He said it is technically not required, but is routine and that this practice of which I am a patient strongly encourages all patients to have the test done. I remember having it done when I was pregnant with Bauer, but this time around, I have just felt more aware of any and all tests they want to do on me or the baby (once he's born) and I'm trying to make conscious intentional decisions that I think are best for mine and the baby's health.

So between the two doctor's visits, I decided to do a little research regarding the Gestational Screening Test, or Glucose Challenge Test (GCT) as it is sometimes called, before deciding if I felt it was necessary for me to participate. Here are the things I found out:

-The test is done between 24 and 28 weeks.
-It will not give a diagnosis of gestational diabetes, but is only a screening test.
-Only 1/3 of women who test positive on the screening test actually have gestational diabetes.
-It is the Glucose Tolerance Test (GTT) which is the longer, more definitive exam for those who test positive on the screening test.
-Between 2-5% of women develop gestational diabetes during pregnancy.
-The screening test requires one to drink a sugary drink containing 50 grams of glucose, which is equivalent to 2 candybars worth of sugar, or 12.5 teaspoons, or 4 Tablespoons.
-12 teaspoons of sugar causes the white blood cells of one's immune system to go from destroying the usual 14 bacteria each in a 12-hour period to only destroying 5.5 bacteria each in the same 12-hour period (a 60% decrease).
-High risk factors for gestational diabetes are: obese, history of gestational diabetes, strong family history of diabetes, had a big baby previously (at least 8 lbs 13 oz), unexplained stillbirth or baby with birth defect, have high blood pressure.
-Low risk group (low enough so as not to need screening, in fact) includes those younger than 25, weight is in healthy range, not a member of racial or ethnic group with high prevalence of diabetes, no close relative with diabetes, never had high result on blood sugar test, never had overly large baby or other pregnancy complication.

Based on the above information I found, especially the low risk group factors, I became more and more comfortable with the idea of not doing the screening. I just was a little nervous about telling the doctor at my next visit because I thought they wouldn't understand my reasoning or might try to make me feel I was making a bad decision. But taking the time to prepare my thoughts and have true reasons made me feel a lot more confident going into the appointment.

And it turned out fine. I indicated to the doctor that I meet every single factor in the low risk group except being younger than 25, and I like to think I'm still quite close to that. I also told the doctor that if there was a way to do the test without having to ingest 12 teaspoons of sugar that I would have no problem doing the screening. He just said if they notice sugar in my urine at my prenatal visits (which they haven't up to this point), they might do some kind of finger prick to check my blood sugar levels. I would be fine with that, but if I can avoid the damage to my immune system that the sugar would cause, I am gladly going to do it. I know our bodies are amazing self-healing vessels, and I could recover from drinking 50 grams of glucose if I chose to do the screening, but let's be honest: if I'm going to have something extra-sugary, I would much rather it be chocolate chip cookie dough from Cookie Dough Creations with my sister who is in town visiting than to drink a flat-tasting super-sweet orange cola concoction at the doctor's office and then having to wait an hour in the dreaded waiting room until they can test my blood sugar levels.

I am not trying to sound judgmental against anyone who may choose to do the screening test. You will have to assess your own risk factors and decide accordingly. But I just wanted to throw out the idea that a "routine" procedure by your doctor (during a pregnancy or any other kind of visit) doesn't mean you should just do it without thinking and making a conscious decision based on your own health and choice in the matter. It is freeing to realize we do have choices and as long as we are informed and can clearly explain our reasoning to the doctors, they seem to generally be understanding and accepting of our decisions.

what i'm thinking about

2008-05-24T13:54:00.003-05:00

I am going back through Kathleen Norris' book Amazing Grace, which has officially made my list of Top 5 Favorite Books Ever, and typing out all the things I had underlined when I read it a couple months ago. It is really helpful to revisit all of the thoughts of hers that I connected with so deeply and to think on these things again.

I am thinking about Conversion.

"Conversion is a process; it is not a goal, not a product we consume. And it's a bodily process, not only an emotional or intellectual one. The very cells in our body are busy changing, renewing themselves, every few days. Yet we remain recognizably ourselves. That is how conversion works."

"...conversion is no more spectacular than learning to love the people we live with and work among. It does not mean seeking out the most exotic spiritual experience, or the ideal religion, the holiest teachers who will give us the greatest return on our investment. Conversion is seeing ourselves, and the ordinary people in our families, our classrooms, and on the job, in a new light. Can it be that these very people - even the difficult, unbearable ones - are the ones God has given us, so that together we might find salvation?"

"It was not until years after I had joined [a church] that I finally felt that I truly belonged there. But by then I had enough trust, enough faith in God to learn to examine even my negative reactions to religion for signs that my conversion was indeed taking root in me. I had begun to comprehend that the Bible's story is about the relationship of God to human beings, and of human beings to one another, and that this meant that it is our friendships, marriages, families, and even church congregations that reveal what kind of theology we have, who our God is."

All of those are from the book; now can't you see why I love it?

I am also thinking about Detachment, and trying to put it into practice.

From Amazing Grace again: "One sixth-century monk, Dorotheus of Gaza, describes detachment as 'being free from [wanting] certain things to happen.'"

Wow. I think I could put that on a t-shirt and let it be my life mission. But instead, I will keep it in my heart and prayerfully consider how God might want to work it in my life as I am open to it.

Just yesterday, I had to stop wanting certain things to happen. Bauer picked up some sort of stomach flu this past week, and for 48 hours (from Wed evening through Fri evening), he did not want to do anything other than lie on the couch and watch TV or lie in his bed and take a nap. He must have slept for 4-5 hours each day and 10 or more hours each night. Of course, I didn't like to see him so sick and pitiful and weak (from not being able to keep much of anything down), but it was a couple days of downtime for me, which gave me time catch up on some things around the house and on the desk.

It was actually a very weird feeling for me because it was almost as if I did not have a child for 2 days. I mean, of course, I was checking on Bauer often and making sure to offer him sips of juice and water and trying to help him be as comfortable as possible. I even sat on his bed at two different points and sang to him, and keep in mind, I don't sing. I only know 2 hymns, but I love them both, so I sang those ("Amazing Grace" and "The Love of God"), as well as "Jesus Loves Me" and "Jesus Loves the Little Children." That is my repertoire, for Bauer's ears only. But when I wasn't tending to an immediate need of Bauer's and mostly because he was sleeping a lot or wanted to watch TV because he had no energy for anything else, this is when I had plenty of time to myself.

Getting back to the point, though, is to say that my mom arrived in town for the weekend yesterday afternoon, and our plan all along had been that when she got here, we would all go out to dinner to one of our favorite places, Sweet Tomatoes. We used to visit Sweet Tomatoes regularly in Orlando, but it was only last month that the restaurant opened here. So we're still pretty excited about it. When I realized Bauer wasn't going to be well enough to go out, I had to think about being free from wanting certain things to happen. I had to let go of what "the plan" was and look for the good in the new plan. The good was that Bauer got extra rest throughout yesterday evening, TJ got to go to the driving range and to a movie with his friend John, and my mom and I got to go through Bauer's old baby clothes and make a list of what I need, as well as watch the rest of a movie I had started the night before. We just had leftovers from the night before as well, but it wasn't bad at all.

One of my favorites quotes of all time speaks of detachment in other terms:

"Seize from every moment its unique novelty and do not prepare your joys." (Andre Gide)

And that is what I'm thinking about.

Coming next time: My recent non-experience with the Glucose Screening Test.

since juli asked...

2008-05-22T09:40:00.006-05:00

here are a few pictures of the amazing free haircut i got a couple months ago that i wrote about in my post yesterday:

In no particular order

2008-05-21T13:34:00.005-05:00

A lot has happened since I last posted. I will make a list.

1. My friend Jaime had her baby, a girl named Callie. She was born last Friday, May 16th, 3 weeks early!

2. We got a 3-month family membership to the YMCA, and today I started back swimming. Yay! I used to swim regularly when we were members of the Y in Orlando and I loved swimming outside. But here, I am just happy to be in the water again and that the temperature is holding above 50 degrees so I won't freeze when I walk outside to our car. Bauer enjoyed his first day in "Kiddie Kountry," the Y's childcare program, while I worked out.

3. We planted our garden. We planted 2 Early Girl tomato plants, 2 cherry tomato plants, 4 green leaf lettuces, 1 basil plant, and seeds for cucumbers, green beans, and sugar snap peas. We are also going to plant some pumpkins and watermelons in another area of our backyard, but we are waiting a couple extra weeks to do that since we don't really want the pumpkins ready until closer to the fall.

4. We had our garage door replaced. It had been a little finicky for a while, but it finally stopped working altogether. So for the last week, we had to park on the street in front of our house (as well as get a permit to do so from the police department) until the door could be replaced. I'm just glad it didn't happen in the winter.

5. I got my hair cut by a new junior stylist at the salon where I go. Haircuts by junior stylists are only $20 on Sundays, so I went on Mother's Day actually. The $20 is compared to the $75 haircut I received for free the last time I went a couple months ago. What happened is that I really did not like the way the previous junior stylist cut my hair and I even went back to her the following day to have her try and fix it. But two days later, I was still so unhappy that I called the salon and asked to speak to a manager. I just wanted to see if it would be possible for me to come in and have her look at the cut and tell me if I was just being picky or if the cut was no good. She was very willing to see me, the same day in fact, and once I got there, she redid the whole cut for me. She said there were some inconsistencies in the haircut I had received earlier in the week and she did her best to fix it. Her best was the best haircut I may have ever received. I loved it, and TJ did too. He even said, why don't you just keep going to her it looks so professional. The ironic thing is it only took her 30 minutes to wash, cut, dry and style my hair, whereas it typically takes the junior stylists up to an hour or more to do the "supposed" same cut. And the manager, who is also (obviously) a senior stylist, wouldn't let me pay her. She just said they want me to keep coming back to the salon, which I plan to. I got to wondering after that haircut how much it would have cost just in case I wanted to start seeing her on a regular basis. I was thinking maybe $50. How about $75? Plus a tip would make it $90. I don't think that's affordable for anyone. But evidently people can pay it because how else could she charge that much? Anyway....I loved my haircut while it lasted. And this latest one I got was by one of the junior stylists specifically recommended to me that day by the manager. So at least I feel like we're in the same ballpark.

6. I have felt more uncluttered in my brain the last week or so. I was having a couple down days recently and just feeling like I needed time to think about what my problem was. I finally realized there wasn't really a problem. It's just that not every day is going to be anything to write home about (or on a blog about), so I just accepted those days for what they were - BLAH! - and I moved on. And now look, I'm back to being happy and busy on the outside, and still and quiet on the inside, and it's lovely while it lasts.

7. Heartburn, heartburn, heartburn. I bought some of the new Tums Quik-Paks to try today. I took one after lunch and man, it really seemed to work fast. I've noticed if I have anything for breakfast besides a smoothie, I get heartburn in the morning. And I usually have heartburn after lunch if I have a sandwich. And I definitely have heartburn after dinner. I just don't want to be taking Tums all day long. They aren't the most natural thing if you've ever looked at the ingredients.

8. I went to the dentist and was told I have 5 cavities. My first cavity ever was 6 months ago, and they did X-rays at that time and so I'm thinking if these 5 new cavities were in existence back then, they would have noticed them. Which makes me want to know how the heck did I develop 5 cavities in 6 months' time! I think it might have to do with my morning smoothies....even though there is no added sugar of any kind in them. But the dentist said bacteria love sugar, even natural sugar. And if I'm not in the habit of swishing with water or chewing gum with xylitol after having a smoothie, the bacteria just get in there and stay in there, and especially so if there is any plaque built up on my teeth. What a bummer. And for Bauer, too, since has has smoothies almost every day too. At least he will lose his teeth, but this latest revelation makes me see I need to be more diligent about getting us both to drink water after we drink smoothies. I'm just usually not very thirsty after a smoothie because it has water in it, as well as all the high-in-water-content fruit.

No #9 or #10. I have to go now. But I must say, it sure feels like Thursday today. And my mom comes to visit on Friday for the weekend. And then my sister Holly is coming on Monday just after I drop my mom off at the airport. It will be a fun week ahead.

All About Thursday

2008-05-08T22:41:00.004-05:00

Today was such a good day, even though it was cold again.

This morning was Bauer's preschool graduation. It is funny to think of a 2 year old graduating from anything (except maybe diapers), but it was quite a big deal for the kids, and for their high school teachers. As I've probably mentioned before, the preschool takes place at a high school and the high schoolers are taking Early Childhood classes to get experience working with preschoolers. It has been a great experience for Bauer, and I've been so impressed with how attentive the high schoolers and the adult teacher is to all the little preschoolers. There were 12 kids in the class, ranging from ages 2-5, so obviously it was an actual graduation for the older ones who will be going to kindergarten next year. For Bauer, it was his first group thing with a class of other little kids on a stage, so I knew it was going to be quite amusing. Bauer cried a little bit at first when he got to the stage (I think because he knew we were sitting in the audience), but he soon calmed down and lasted the whole time up there just fine.

The best part was that they had all the kids dressed in green caps and gowns. Adorable. Absolutely adorable. And after the ceremony, we attended the reception and got to talk to some of the other parents, as well as some of the high school students who had cared for our kids throughout the semester. I even got some phone numbers for potential babysitters!

After the graduation and reception, TJ took Bauer out with him to run a few errands, including buying a tee ball set for Bauer, while I came home and made pasta salad and cleaned the bathroom (not one of my favorite activities, but I enjoyed the time alone to get something done).

When Bauer and TJ got home, they went in the back yard and played with the new tee ball set, while I made our lunch - veggie sandwiches, veggies, and roasted red pepper pasta salad. That was a good lunch, and it was during lunch that TJ gave Bauer the little graduation gift he secretly bought him while they were at Target just a bit earlier. Bauer has been collecting (or should I say, I have been collecting for him) some of those Cars Movie cars that they sell at Target and Meijer and plenty of other places probably. We see them most often at Target, though, because every time we go there, Bauer wants to go look at the cars. Anyway, there are many, many of the Cars characters we do not have, but one that we really have been wanting to find for Bauer is Tow Mater. And today TJ saw it at Target and bought it! I think they must have just restocked the shelves because most of the time we go, they are almost completely out of all the characters and especially the good ones.

After lunch, Bauer had a 3+ hour nap. That was definitely needed, as he's been waking up around 6 or 6:15 most days lately. He had a few late nights recently as well, so I was expecting him to take one of those marathon naps any day now. And it happened to be today, when TJ had taken the day off (he worked all day Monday, which is his usual day off). So it was nice for TJ and I to both have that extra time today while Bauer slept for so long. I even got in a 45 minute nap myself, and I still felt like I had extra time. I had pretty much run out of everything to do, and had just sat down to read some in my book for book club, when Bauer finally woke up around 4:40pm.

Bauer remembered his tee ball set and wanted to go out and find it in the backyard, so TJ took him out again to play for a few minutes before we headed to downtown Naperville. We had been planning to go downtown to look for some new shoes for Bauer and to eat dinner. We were hoping to get another pair of the Geox shoes that Bauer has had for his last 2 pairs, but unfortunately the store was all out of the Geox shoes in the Toddler sizes, plus the Geox ones that we have seen online for Bauer's next size weren't all that cool-looking to me. The bigger ones are much cooler, so we are just going to try and get Geox next time when he'll wear a bigger size. We just love the Geox because of how they let air in through the little holes on the bottom. They really seem to help keep Bauer's feet from sweating. The shoes we got are pretty cool, though. They are a brand called Tsukihoshi, and the ones we got are blue (mine and Bauer's favorite color) with a camouflage design.

After the shoe store, we went next door to the local bookshop and let Bauer play with the Thomas train set they have there. It is the best Thomas set in town (we know of at least 3 places that have a Thomas train table), but the one at this bookstore is the best, with the most tracks and add-ons and especially the most different train cars for making a really long train.

We finally went to dinner at a place in downtown Naperville that we've been wanting to go ever since we moved here. It is called Heaven on Seven and is a Louisiana-cooking restaurant, as in gumbo, jambalaya, etc. It was pretty expensive, but we thankfully had a coupon (yes, I do still keep coupons for restaurants) and we thought of it as a little graduation dinner for Bauer! We normally bring along his food with us when we go out to eat (for health and monetary reasons), but tonight, even though I had brought his food with us, we decided to let him get grilled cheese and fries. He was excited and did so well in the restaurant. I think having that long nap put him in a fun mood, and it was quite a pleasure being out as a family in the restaurant and experiencing a new restaurant together. TJ got the jambalaya with a side of creamy garlic mashed potatoes. I got the Louisiana sampler platter, which had red beans & rice, black eyed peas & rice, andouille sausage, collard greens, and sweet potato polenta. We also each got a jalapeno cheddar cornbread muffin, but they were huge, so we easily could have shared one. We had leftovers to bring home, so at least we'll get more than one meal out of it

After dinner, we came home and Bauer was relentlessly asking to go see the "choo-choos." He wanted to go on a bike ride to the "top," meaning he wanted to go to the train station near our house and see the trains on the tracks up there. So we all bundled up (by this point in the day, it was quite cold and windy, but not yet dark), and went on a family bike ride to see a couple trains. Bauer loved it and even started to cry when we told him we have to go home now. He truly is in love with trains. He never stops asking about them, he mostly wants to play with his train track on the floor when we are home, and first thing this morning he was asking TJ about the "stuck train" we saw on the tracks yesterday.

We got Bauer bathed and to bed, and then it was time for our one TV night of the week. We just got done watching The Office and LOST, and both were good episodes tonight. So that was a fun, relaxing ending to a fun, relaxing day. It's not too often that I have a day that I enjoy as much as I did today, so I don't take it for granted.

The Stuff of Life

2008-04-29T14:48:00.006-05:00

I just thought I'd put a few random things, including pictures, on my blog today.

This is me and my friend Jaime at Jaime's baby shower this past Sunday. Jaime is due at the beginning of June with her second, a baby girl, who she is going to name Callie Mae. What a nice Southern name! (Jaime is from Georgia and she says y'all.)

Here is Bauer making a video and needing a haircut.

Here is Bauer first thing this morning drinking his carrot juice. Notice the haircut TJ gave him last night. Also notice the Richard Scarry book he is holding open on his lap. He still can't get enough of trains and he wants to talk about where all three trains on that page are going, over and over and over. He wants to go to the park to see trains. He wants to know where the trains are going. He wants to know why there aren't any trains if he happens not to see one. And when one does come, you should see his face light up as his hands start clapping and he literally starts jumping up and down. I thought the train phase might be about to pass or at least lessen a little, but it seems that in the last few weeks, it has really started up again in full force.

Here is Bauer showing me what he built today while I was fixing our lunch. He played by himself in the hallway and in his room for at least half an hour. First he built this tower and then he went in his room and put together his wooden train track from IKEA. It was actually pretty good, about as good as the ones I make for him.

In other news, it cost us $79.00 to fill up our van with gas yesterday. Can you believe that?

This morning, I had some errands to run with Bauer and one included going to the Chamber of Commerce to purchase a gift certificate for downtown Naperville that we're giving as a gift. I noticed on the board of businesses by the elevator, as I was looking for where the Chamber was located, that there was a dentist office on the second floor. So after going to the Chamber, I decided to go back down one floor and check out the dentist office. We have been needing to find a new dentist because we were not satisfied with the first dentist we tried in Naperville. It was so strange to me that the dentist was the one who cleaned our teeth, instead of a dental hygienist. At first, I thought it was a good thing for the dentist to do it, but upon further reflection and talking with a friend whose sister is a dental hygienest, I realized that the dentists themselves probably aren't as well trained for that part of the job and wouldn't do as thorough of a job. That was the experience we had, at least, so we have been wanting to find a new dentist, plus we want to take Bauer to a dentist for the first time.

Just this morning, I had TJ pull up a list of dentists that are covered by our insurance and that are close to where to we live. I was planning to make some phone calls later today to ask about their pediatric services, as well as to find out if they have dental hygienists on staff for the teeth-cleaning part of the visit. Well, since I saw that a dentist office was located in the same building as the Chamber, and since I wasn't really in a hurry (how nice), I decided to stop by in person and get a feel for the people and the place. I got off the elevator and looked again at the sign to see which office the dentist was in, and just as I was about to start walking way down to the end of the hall to that office, I noticed another dentist office right outside the elevator. It seemed nice enough and they had some fliers outside the door promoting their pediatric services, so I decided to go in and get more info. The lady who helped me was so nice and informative and I immediately felt like this would be a great place to come. As soon as I learned they took our insurance and had a specific dentist to do pediatric care, I was pretty much settled on it. She gave us a tour of their office and explained a little more about their two dentists and the services offered. She assured me a dental hygienist will be the one who does our cleanings. Then she took me over to the receptionist to see about making some appointments. The receptionist was extremely nice and friendly and helpful and seemed to have plenty of time to help me. The first lady also came back to check on Bauer one time and see if he wanted a toy from the toy chest, which of course he did. (He picked a miniature Slinky and has already managed to get it so twisted up that I can't fix it....but we're waiting on Dad to get home and try, as Bauer was pretty upset about the whole thing.)

Now we all 3 have appointments and oh yeah, I forgot to say the dentist himself came out and introduced himself to us. Unfortunately, Bauer can't get in until mid-June because the lady dentist who does the pediatric care only works in this office one day a week right now (she works her other days in Chicago), but TJ and I will be going in for our check-ups in just a couple weeks. I am so happy at how easy that whole experience was, and how nice it was to do something like that in person as opposed to making several phone calls and still not even knowing if I would like the ambiance of the place or the demeanor of the staff. I was highly impressed with both things at this office, and they are so close to our house we can walk there in the warmer weather if it ever actually warms up and stays warm.

Today is mid-40s again, but the high is supposed to be 52. The next week or so the highs are supposed to be mid-60s, with rain over the weekend. This feels like the longest winter I have ever been through. To me, winter will be over when I can put away my hoodie and take Bauer to the park in short sleeves.

We found some really great deals on some short-sleeve shirts for Bauer recently. I love the Genuine Kids clothes at Target although I rarely buy them for regular price because I think they are too expensive for kids' clothes. There were a few shirts I had noticed at regular price a while back that I loved and wanted to buy, but I decided not to. We instead bought a few things at The Children's Place Outlet and also at Once Upon a Child (a great children's consignment store). I was happy with our purchases, but even happier to walk into Target one day recently and see the very shirts I had wanted to buy for Bauer on the clearance rack. They were 50% off. I bought him 2 short-sleeve shirts - the collared kind - as well as a pair of Genuine Kids shorts. I think he is pretty much set with shorts and shirts for the summer, but he will be needing a new pair of shoes and some short socks very soon. His cool little Puma socks which he got last spring have holes in just about all of them. We've even had to start throwing some of them away, which is sad because I just love those little socks. I would have loved for them to be hand-me-downs.

Speaking of the little one on the way, I had my most recent doctor's appointment yesterday morning and the doctor said all my measurements are great. I only gained 0.8 lbs (as in less than 1 lb) since my last visit, but the visit previous to that, I had gained 7 lbs. The doctor said overall my weight gain is great and that the average is about 4 lbs a month, so I'm right on track. I told him it was the same way when I was pregnant with Bauer, where I would go for a couple appointments and not really gain anything and then all of a sudden I'd have this large jump in weight. I measured at 23" and being at 23 weeks, the doctor said this was great too, since normally the measurement should correspond to your number of weeks. The baby's heartbeat was good at 150 and my blood pressure was good at 110 over 70, I think. It was a quick appointment and I'm thankful everything has been going so well so far.

Last, but not least, TJ surprised me recently with a copy of Alexander McCall Smith's newest book in the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series. The book is called The Miracle at Speedy Motors and it is such a fun and light read from my favorite author. I can't wait for the HBO series based on this book series that is supposed to come out in the fall of 2009. We don't even get HBO, but I think we will have to subscribe.

Our Trip

2008-04-23T20:06:00.003-05:00

We've been away now for almost a week but are headed back home tomorrow. It's been a fun week and a nice change of scenery. First we were in Clemson, SC, visiting my sister and her husband before they move to Boston. While in Clemson, we got to eat at a few of our favorite places there and spend some time with a few of our favorite people. My favorite place to eat in Clemson is a place called Pot Belly Deli and it is nothing at all like the Pot Belly Sandwich Works which we have in Naperville. Although I do like both places, Pot Belly Deli wins. It was so crowded when we went there on Saturday - the line was out the door the entire time we were eating - but it was worth the effort to get to eat the fresh veggie sandwich and have the Greek pasta salad. TJ got his usual Cape Codder sandwich, which is turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce on a sandwich. And of course, he got his sweet tea.

We got to have ice cream from the Clemson homemade ice cream place on campus and Bauer got to run around on Bowman Field. We went to a going-away cookout that Holly and Dwight had at their house on Saturday evening. We also celebrated my mom's birthday a little late with a vanilla cake with buttercream icing from Publix. Heaven.

Sugar heaven, I guess. After that weekend of eating out and eating sweets, I have been a little more mindful these last couple of days of not eating as much sugar and have felt much healthier because of it. I read in a book my dad has that when you eat no added sugar (as in table sugar or sugar added to processed foods) in a 12 hour period, the white blood cells in your body can each kills 14 bad bacteria during that period of time. When you eat 6 teaspoons or approximately 24 grams (1 can of Coke has 10 teaspoons, just for comparison), the amount of bacteria that can be killed is reduced by 25% to 10 bacteria in a 12 hour period. The number decreases the more sugar you eat, down to only 1 bacteria killed in a 12 hour period when you take in 24 teaspoons of sugar (approximately 96 grams). This 96 grams isn't hard to attain when a grande mocha frappacino from Starbucks....one of my favorite drinks from there....has 47 grams of sugar in it. Of course, it would be 47. The point is that your immune system becomes compromised when the white blood cells aren't allowed to do their work. I knew sugar was not really a good thing, but I really didn't know why. Just knowing this one little thing about how my body works gives me greater incentive to be more aware of how much "bad" sugar I am eating. I'm not fixing to cut out all sugar or anything like that...but I do intend to try to find some healthier all-natural dessert options to make at home, such as the bars I already make for Bauer, which have no added sugar in them. I'll have my little Dove chocolates from time to time and other treats, but I will also remember that my body needs my help to keep my immune system up and running strong.

My mom had driven to Clemson for the weekend to spend time with us, so on Monday Bauer and I rode back with her to NC where my parents and grandparents live. TJ spent one extra day with some friends in Greenville, SC, before heading back to Naperville on Tuesday. But Bauer and I have been enjoying time with my mom and dad, MaryMa and Granddaddy Lambert, and Aunt Kathryn and Uncle Eldon. Bauer has loved getting to sit on Granddaddy's backhoe and tractors, and he even got a ride today on the big riding lawnmower. We ate supper at MaryMa's house tonight and then got to spend some time with my aunt and uncle. Bauer loved their cat called Charcoal.

It has really been a nice and relaxing time for all of us, and I have loved for Bauer to be reminded of who our family is and how much they love him. We are looking forward to being back home with TJ tomorrow and to officially start to enjoy spring in Naperville. Finally.

Cold Saturday

2008-04-12T14:24:00.003-05:00

Today it is rainy and cold, as in 39 degrees. This morning we cleaned. This was a big deal because I do not like to clean. That is one reason I am so glad we have a small house. I like to be organized and keep things straight, but when it comes to cleaning (as in bathrooms and floors), I just don't do it till I have to. I recently tried to make myself a little cleaning schedule for the bathroom, but I couldn't even stick to an every other Monday routine. I mean, if it gets really dirty, I will clean it and if we have people coming over, I will quick-clean it.

But earlier this week, I decided that on this Saturday morning we would clean, meaning both TJ and I would participate. I would obviously do the bathroom and I asked TJ to do the floors. He swept, vacuumed, and swiffered the entire house, which is all hardwood. It looks great, and I must say the bathroom is sparkly clean too.

Bauer helped by using a cloth to dust off the window ledges and some bookshelves, and I also saw him in his room wiping the moisture (from the rainy day outside) off the windows with his cloth.

After our cleaning was over - it only took about an hour and a half - we went to Costco, our first real trip there besides last weekend when we joined. I wasn't crazy about the idea of joining Costco since to me, those kind of stores represent part of what is wrong with America (buying too much stuff we don't need just because it's cheap and then storing it in our homes that are too big just because we have too much stuff). But TJ has been needing new tires for his car and even with the $50 membership fee to Costco, he is still going to get the tires cheaper than anywhere else he looked.

So this morning, we braved the cold weather and the crowds to take a look around the store we are now members of. I had a few things in mind to look for today, just to check some prices and see if it would be worth buying in larger quantity. One thing was the Nature Valley granola bars, you know the green box. The only size Costco had was a box of 48, which is 96 bars. Couldn't do it. Even if it is cheaper and even if we will eventually (like in a year) eat that many of those granola bars, I really don't want to see a box that big for that long in my cupboard. I mean, really. Next I thought to look at cereal, but the selection was severely limited for my taste and part of the fun of cereal is picking a different kind each time you go to the store. Oh yeah, and also getting the boxes that have fun stuff for the kids, like the die cast metal car that Bauer recently scored from a box we bought. Another thing I checked out at Costco was the produce, and although the 13-lb box of navel oranges looked delicious and inviting, I really don't have that kind of space in my fridge. But boy, you should have seen the carts of most people in the store!

It was fun to watch, and fun to get a couple free samples. I think Bauer had 5 toothpicks of diced pears, and we did even go down that aisle and looked at the jars of fruit. I decided I really didn't want huge jars of peaches and pears in my fridge when it would take a week or more to get through them. I like little things. I like how my grandmother uses these tiny little bottles of detergent, not the ultra-concentrated ones that are new, but the small ones of the regular stuff that they must make for old people who don't like heavy things.

TJ didn't buy the tires today because they go on sale on Monday, so now he will save even more money. But that means we left the store without buying a thing today. I bet that is rare since people go there to stock up.

Anyway...now I'm home, Bauer's asleep, TJ has gone to work, and it's still cold and rainy. I just went through a lot of old pictures on our computer so I can make a new photobook of Bauer's life from age 6 months through 1 year. We have a book that is from his birth to 6 months, and the one I made recently which was our first year in Naperville (or Bauer's life from Age 1-Age 2). But there was a 6 month gap in there and I want to get it done. It was fun looking at all the old photos and remembering our life and the people in Orlando.

I sure do miss Orlando on a day like today.

"That's not an umbilical cord"

2008-04-09T18:29:00.002-05:00

Said Tom the technician at my ultrasound today.

Boy, oh boy, it's a boy.

Just what TJ and I were hoping for.

I don't even mind that the Chinese Lunar Calendar was wrong. Tom said it's only 77% accurate, so we're in the minority with this one since it predicted I was having a girl.

The baby's heart rate at my last 2 doctor's visits was 150+, which means the theory of a heart rate > 140 being a girl is also out the window.

The only main difference I have noticed between this pregnancy and my first one is that with this one, I don't have the dark line known as linea nigra that sometimes forms along the center of the belly. With Bauer I had it, but now I don't, so that is also something that made me think I might be having a girl this time.

In addition, two of my good friends from playgroup have either just had or are about to have a girl.

So everything pointed to girl, but in my heart of hearts, I was thinking (and hoping) that I was going to beat the odds for some reason. I even dreamed twice recently that I was having a boy.

Tom said all of the measurements looked good, and that is good news too!

A Few New Things

2008-04-07T09:47:00.004-05:00

Here are a few things I'm into lately:

1) SIGG water bottles. I was recently in Whole Foods and saw a big display of aluminum water bottles of all different sizes and designs. I noticed the company is called SIGG, so I came home and did a little looking around online and decided to order the bottles for me, TJ, and Bauer. I had been getting tired of all the random sizes and shapes of plastic disposable water bottles in our fridge door, and even though we do reuse them a lot before discarding them, there still comes the time when you have to spend the $6-8 to buy a whole new batch of them. And then you have to store them somewhere and it was just not working for me. I thought it would be so cool (and so simple) to have one bottle each for me, TJ, and Bauer. Mine is blue, of course, TJ's is silver, and Bauer's is blue with astronauts and a green pop-top lid. Mine and TJ's are 20 oz (Bauer's is only 13) and ours have screw-on lids, which feel rugged and utilitarian. I am very happy with my recent purchase, and even happier that I was able to locate a coupon code online to use on the SIGG website.

2) Homemade pita chips. I often see the bags of Stacy's Pita Chips in stores and I love them, but they are pretty expensive and you don't get very many in the bag. The 7 servings is more like 2 or 3. So I had the idea recently to make my own pita chips. I went online to AllRecipes and found an easy recipe. I reduced the quantities of each ingredients so that I can easily make 2 or 3 small pitas into a couple servings of chips. I love 'em, TJ loves 'em, and Bauer loves 'em. They are perfect with soup, or chili, or a salad.

3) MyPublisher photo books. This really isn't a new thing for me, but I recently made a new book that I'm so proud of. It is a book of pictures from our first year in Naperville (October 06-October 07). MyPublisher is one of those online sites that lets you use the digital photos you have stored on your computer and easily put them into one of a number of different templates, type in descriptions for the pictures, and finally place your order online. A couple days later, my hard back book of photos arrived and I can't wait to show my family and friends. It was a lot of fun to work on this project and to remember all the things we have done since living in Naperville. I am already looking forward to working on Year 2. The most time-consuming part is going through all our photos and deciding which ones to pull from for the book.

4) Pregnancy picture. Today marks the halfway point in my pregnancy, or 20 weeks, and it's the first time we have taken a single picture of my pregnant belly. Too bad we don't have Publix nearby so that we could take pictures on the scale like we did each week when I was pregnant with Bauer. But it probably wouldn't be fun to do the exact same thing anyway. Here is a picture of me on our front porch, just 2 days before I know if it's a boy or girl!

P.S.

2008-04-04T14:41:00.003-05:00

I forgot to say I felt the baby move for the first time 2 nights ago. That was fun. And thinking of names is fun, too. Pretty soon, we'll be able to focus on either boy or girl names, and not both. I got my ultrasound moved up a week, so we should find out next Wednesday!

My Happy Boy

2008-04-04T14:26:00.003-05:00

I guess I jinxed Bauer the other day when I wrote about how rarely he gets sick because 2 days ago, his nose started running. And yesterday was a downpour, both from his nose and his eyes, along with lots of sneezing. It was pretty awful, but he drank carrot juice and ate mostly fruit the entire day, and now today he is 10 times better. The sneezing has subsided and his nose has stopped running constantly. Now it's more the he-needs-to-blow-his-nose-but-doesn't-know-how stage of the cold. Which means, for the next 3-4 days, although Bauer will be feeling fine and won't mind if he has some drizzle leaking from his nostrils every now and then, I WILL mind and I will be forced to roll up the edges of Kleenex as I try to get his nose all cleaned out. Fun, fun.

Thankfully the only bad day was yesterday, so I guess in a way, him getting sick proved my point to me yet again that his little immune system is pretty good at fighting back when a sickness strikes. Not sure where he picked up that little germfest since he didn't have preschool this week, nor did we go to playgroup (thankfully, now, though since hopefully we spared some of the other kids from being exposed before we knew he was about to get sick). Maybe on a shopping cart the 1 in 10 times that I decided not to bother with wiping down the handle and sides that he touches when he sits in the cart. I always try to think back to where he could have gotten the germs from, but it's to no avail since I'll never know, and even if I did know, I can't really control things even though I like to think I can.

When we've gone to Jewel lately, and I pay with cash in the self-checkout lane, Bauer always wants to collect the change that comes out at the end. I hoist him up onto the belt so he can reach the change holder and he takes the money out. He has said 2 or 3 different times that we've done this, that he wants to give the money to the man, meaning the Salvation Army man that was out in front of Jewel at Christmas. I love it that Bauer remembers giving change to the man with the bell and that Bauer wants to do it again. I have had to tell him that the man is only there at Christmas and that he can put his money in his blue piggy bank when we get home. He's fine with that too.

The other morning, just after Bauer woke up, he was sitting on my lap on the couch, facing me. I started to say to him, "Bauer you are so cute," but before I could say the word cute, he said the word happy instead. I thought that was precious. Bauer knows he is a happy boy, and that makes me so happy too. I thank God often for Bauer's happiness and I just hope we can nurture him emotionally so that he can continue to have courage to be happy in a world where bad things happen and where you can't be in control. I guess that is probably called joy, but for now I'll call it happy.

Cancer DVD

2008-03-31T20:47:00.002-05:00

TJ and I spent a couple nights last week watching a DVD that I ordered from Amazon called Healing Cancer From Inside Out. The DVD was split into two 1-hour segments, both of which were very informative. The first hour was about what causes cancer, why doctors continue to prescribe cancer treatments (radiation, chemotherapy, and surgery) that have such low rates of success, what drives the cancer industry, and why treating the symptoms of cancer instead of the root causes will never lead to a cure. One statement that stands out in my mind from this section of the DVD is the idea that if you gave chemotherapy drugs to a healthy person, that person would quickly become sick. Yet we give chemotherapy drugs to sick people and somehow think they can magically become well.

Another major point from the DVD is that the reason cancers recur (after supposedly going into remission) is that they never were truly eliminated in the first place because the underlying cause of the cancer was never targeted. The cancer may appear to be gone for a while, but really the cancer is still there, just waiting to come back in a new area.

A third thing that stood out to me is the idea that when a person is diagnosed with cancer, they are often made to feel there is a big rush to get the treatment started ASAP, when in reality the cancer has been in the person's body for most likely as long as 10 years, gradually multiplying the cancer cells until there were enough for them to be detected. The doctors and researchers on the DVD spoke so calmly and reassuringly that in most cases, there is not this huge rush to start some sort of treatment immediately, but that a person has time to think it through and explore their options. Most likely, if they did nothing (meaning no conventional treatments at all), they would continue to live for several years just because it takes cancer a long time to kill a person on its own. It became very obvious through watching the DVD that it is the cancer treatment, as opposed to the cancer itself, that is most often the killer.

The big mystery of cancer was brought into the light for me in this DVD. Cancer isn't just some random thing that happens. Cancer is made up of cells that are not healthy and that are allowed to thrive in a body that isn't healthy. The DVD said we all deal with cancer in our lifetimes, as many as six times each, but our immune systems generally take care of the cancer before we have a chance to be diagnosed. When people are diagnosed, it's because the cancer cells have multiplied too greatly for the immune system to be able to get rid of them.

The second half of the DVD explains that the way to build the immune system so that it can deal with the cancer cells that are continuously forming in our bodies, and amazingly, even eliminate the cancer cells once cancer has been diagnosed is to feed our bodies a mostly plant-based diet (and raw foods are best) and to eliminate most, if not all, animal products and refined foods. There was a statistic that showed the percentage of plant foods consumed back many years ago (I can't remember how long ago it was as I wasn't taking notes), compared with the percentage today. Today plant foods make up only about 7% of what people eat worldwide, and the other 93% is animal products and refined foods. This is exactly the opposite of how people used to eat, so that probably explains why cancer is so much more prevalent these days than in the past.

TJ and I both learned a lot from the DVD and it made us want to continue to work to improve our own diets. We already don't eat that much meat and I rarely cook meat at home. But if we go out somewhere, we will sometimes order something with meat, and I really think that's okay since it's such a small part of our diet. Same with cheese. We do drink some milk, or have it on cereal a couple times a week, but in general, we attempt to minimize the animal and dairy products in our diet. The area where we feel there is room for improvement is just in eating less refined foods, such as cookies or chips or other junk food, which we've gotten into the habit of snacking on. There are so many healthy snacks to eat, like those bars I posted on my last post. I also recently found a recipe for a new kind of smoothie, which I've already made at least 3 times. It is so refreshing and healthy, especially for a mid-afternoon or nighttime snack!

Peel 2 navel oranges, and blend with 1/2 cup frozen blueberries and 1/2 cup frozen strawberries. Enjoy! And repeat as often as desired!

We are trying to raise Bauer to eat in this manner as well (meaning limited animal products and limited refined foods), and I really don't feel that he is being deprived by not having cheese for instance, which is a staple in most kids' diets. I honestly think that has a lot to do with why he has not gotten a single ear infection and rarely gets sick. And when he does get sick, which is usually just a cold, it lasts for 1-2 days. That is no exaggeration. I feel very thankful for his desire for healthy foods and for the health and vitality he has experienced in his first 2.5 years. Sometimes I wish I ate as well as he does! He does like a little treat every now and then, which of course, we do allow - at the moment, he asks for Trader Joe's chocolate-covered raisins, or these Florida's Natural all natural fruit chews.

Sometimes when he asks, though, I tell him no because I don't want him to think that he can have those things all the time. Instead, I will offer him cut-up apple or cantaloupe or grapes, and he readily agrees to having the fruit. I think kids would eat fruit just as happily as fruit chews if we parents take the time and intentionality to have the healthier things prepared and ready for them when they ask. I know several of my friends try and do similar things with their kids, so I know it isn't just Bauer who will eat the healthier options. I really think the main thing is to not think you have to give them what they ask for. If they are hungry, they will eat a healthy option. But now, let me step off my soapbox and end this blog soon.

If this topic is something that sounds interesting to you, I want to recommend a very informative and practical book about feeding your kids, but it also applies to feeding yourself (and your spouse). It is by Dr. Joel Fuhrman and the book is called Disease-Proof Your Child: Feeding Kids Right. It answers a lot of the questions that most people have when they first consider a diet that includes minimal meat and cheese, such as "Where do you get protein? Where do you get calcium? And where do you get iron?" We have found that those are the questions that people ask us most often when they hear that we don't eat a lot of animal products, and this book has some very persuading information on that subject. It is hard to ignore the truth when you read scientific studies and facts that are presented throughout this book, but the thing I like so much about the book is that it is also very practical and gives lots of kid-friendly tips for getting your child to eat things besides chips, crackers, cheese, etc. There is a recipe section in the back of the book, too.

Happy Reading!

Midnight Snack

2008-03-19T22:08:00.004-05:00

For some reason, TJ and I could not get to sleep last night. Most nights, I have no trouble at all (except for that recent night in downtown Chicago after drinking an obviously non-decaf "decaf" latte - ugghh!). And yesterday I was exhausted after being in the kitchen for 2 hours preparing a nice dinner and making more "bars" for Bauer.

Let me stop here and give this recipe for the bars because they are so healthy, so easy, and any kid oughta love them.

2 large ripe bananas (make sure they are large because it is the bananas that give the bars moisture)
1/2 cup dates, chopped
1/4 cup raw walnuts, chopped
2 cups old-fashioned oatmeal

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mash bananas in a large mixing bowl. Add chopped dates, using your fingers to spread them out in the bowl; otherwise, it will just be a clump of stuck-together date pieces. Next add chopped walnuts. Last, add oatmeal. Mix all ingredients together and press mixture into a 9 x 9 glass baking dish that has been sprayed with Pam cooking spray. Bake for 30 minutes at 350. Allow to cool and then cut into squares or bars. Makes 16 squares.

I have a friend who makes the same recipe using almonds instead of walnuts, and another friend who uses raisins instead of dates. So you can be creative and substitute. But don't be afraid of dates if you've never had them. They are some kind of good.

Well, anyway, TJ and I were lying in bed around 11pm, talking, talking, talking, and not sleeping. My legs were tired, but that was the only symptom. I just felt wide awake and it didn't help that I was also feeling kind of hungry. I was hoping to just fall asleep, but the longer I laid there, the hungrier I got and I just knew if I didn't get up and eat something, I would probably not sleep that well or would be even hungrier at the 3am pregnancy bathroom break.

Around 11:40 (way past my bedtime), I finally made the call to get up and eat something. And TJ was happy to join me. So we decided to watch one episode of Arrested Development: Season 1, which we recently checked out from the library on the recommendation of a couple of friends and are enjoying the quirkiness of (the show, not our friends). The one we watched last night was the one with Job's magic show and the ordeal with the legs and his girlfriend and Maeby's decision to start wearing leather all the time and Michael's "stealing" of the office chair. Anyone with me?

So TJ and I got our cereal and sat on the couch and watched the show and it was a fun, spontaneous thing to do. I felt much better after eating, and TJ was more relaxed after a little TV, and we could both go to sleep more readily. I think we probably only laid in bed for 5 minutes this time before we were sound asleep. So it was a good decision, even if it meant less sleep overall.

Midnight snacks remind me of my grandmother on my mom's side. When I was a little girl and would spend the night at her house in Charlotte, I would always ask her to get me up whenever she got up for her midnight snack. I don't know if she usually got up for a midnight snack even when I wasn't there, or if it was just something she did when I visited, but I remember several times that she would wake me up (I can't imagine waking Bauer for any reason once he is actually asleep, but then again, I was probably 9 or 10 at the time and not 2) and we would go downstairs to the kitchen and have peanut butter on Saltine crackers. I doubt if I brushed my teeth afterwards and I still never had a cavity till this year. But I have a good memory of me and my grandmother.

And now I have another good memory of me and TJ having our own midnight snack and watching Arrested Development.

Liturgy

2008-03-17T22:12:00.005-05:00

It seems that many of the books I'm reading are overlapping and I think it is on purpose (not my purpose).

I just got done with Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner and in it, she makes a lot of parallels between how Jews live out their faith and how Christians live out theirs. Lauren converted to Orthodox Judaism before converting back to Christianity, and through her immersion in the Jewish faith, she has a lot of insight into what Christians can learn from Jews in terms of how they can live out their faith more meaningfully and more intentionally. I learned so many things from Mudhouse Sabbath, on topics ranging from the Sabbath (obviously) to Hospitality to Prayer to Eating. All things that Christians should care about because God cares about. I am really hoping this book is one that our small group can go through together because I think I would get even more from it by discussing it with others.

The one part of the book that stood out to me above the rest was the chapter on prayer and on how liturgical prayer (prayer that is repeated at certain times day after day) can be so helpful as a guide to communicating with God. She had a line in the book about how fickle our feelings are when we are trying to talk to God and how often we just talk to him about our feelings, whether they happen to be good feelings or bad feelings on any given day. Not to say, God isn't interested in our feelings, but there does seem to be something to the idea that praying a prayer that has been prayed for ages and ages past, including prayers that are direct from the Scriptures, can do wonders for changing our feelings to align with who God is and the realization that He is enough. I need to be reminded to repent, to surrender, to adore. Those things don't come naturally to me, but I'd like them to be worked into the fiber of my being by working them into the daily fabric of my life through the reading of liturgy.

At this point, I am considering The Book of Common Prayer (put out by the Episcopal Church and which Lauren refers to in her book) and The Divine Hours (recommended to me by my friend Miska). I am trying to get them both from the library so I can review them before buying one or the other. My mom even suggested I go by a local Episcopal church and see if they have a copy of The Book of Common Prayer I can borrow. My mom grew up in the Episcopal Church, and I'll have to say, that plus my new desire for liturgy makes me want to visit one.

Also reading Madeleine L'Engle's Crosswicks Journal Series brings similar thoughts into my mind and heart. She talks often about the church's liturgical calendar and refers to her daily readings. I'm currently in the 3rd book of this series, The Irrational Season, and the book is broken down into chapters that correspond with the different seasons of the year based on the liturgical calendar of the Church (such as Advent, Epiphany, and Lent). Today I started the Lent chapter and the next couple chapters are Good Friday and Easter. I do not think this just happened to me in this week of this year.

The first book of Lauren Winner's that I read, Girl Meets God, was similar in that the book was sectioned by the Church's calendar of Holy Days, from Advent to Christmas to Epiphany to Lent and so on. In this book, she told her story of converting to Judaism and what that meant in her life during each of these seasons (some were called different names as a part of Judaism), as well as how she experiences her new way of life as a Christian in each of the same seasons.

And now for how Rob Bell connects. Rob Bell is the author of 2 books I've read: Velvet Elvis and Sex God, and the guy who puts together and speaks in the short films known as NOOMA, which is what my women's small group at Connections is exploring this semester, as well as what our small group is currently participating in together. So lots of Rob Bell in my life at the moment. I like his way of thinking, though, so I don't mind. He gives a lot of the Jewish background of things, such as Jewish words and Jewish history and how they relate to life for Christians today. I always think, as I'm reading Lauren Winner's stuff, that Rob Bell ought to read this, except I'm sure he probably already did. And she's probably read him too. And I hope Anne Lamott has read both of them.

I know Anne Lamott reads Elizabeth Berg because she said so at her recent speaking engagement I attended. Not to mention, Elizabeth Berg was in fact there! But I've already expressed my happiness over that. To hear Anne say she reads Elizabeth, and knowing I read them both, made me really happy. Why is it that I want all my favorite authors to like each other?

I had a mind to ask Anne Lamott if she reads Alexander McCall Smith? He is the best and most interesting story teller I have ever read, and must be about the smartest man on the planet. I love his style of writing and can't get enough of three of his series: The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency Series, The 44 Scotland Street Series, and The Sunday Philosophy Club Series. I am all caught up on all of these series and the second a new book comes out, I'm there. But Alexander McCall Smith has nothing to do with Rob Bell, Lauren Winner, Anne Lamott, or Elizabeth Berg. Except for the fact that all of these writers touch me in a place that heals me and gives me life and meaning and hope. And that is no small matter.

"Reading and books are medicine. Stories are written and told by and for people who have been broken, but who have risen up, or will rise, if attention is paid to them. Those people are you and us. Stories and truth are splints for the soul, and that makes today a sacred gathering." (A.L.)

Body Issues

2008-03-13T14:12:00.005-05:00

"If you have a body, you are entitled to the full range of feelings. It comes with the package." (Anne Lamott)

Today, I am having body issues. I just journaled for at least half an hour and have now decided I'd like to write some of my journal entry on my blog because there is nothing brave about doing this alone.

Today I am struggling with how hard it is for me to feel good about myself when I feel like I've eaten too much. I treat my body so poorly sometimes. I am so grateful to be reading Mudhouse Sabbath right now because one chapter in particular has really spoken to me regarding the body issues.

I don't think my attitudes toward my body are, in general, very honoring to God. Basically I see my body as something to be controlled, to be conquered - and when I feel that I'm failing at the controlling and the conquering (for instance, like last night at our Connections social, when I know I ate more than I needed and more than my body was hungry for, simply because the food tasted so delicious and I had come to eat), I begin to feel very discouraged and down on myself and I struggle a lot with feelings of regret and frustration at myself for continuing this pattern.

I feel like many days in my life have ended this way, with feeling of regret or wishing I had eaten less or differently. Usually, knowing I can work out eases my mind some, and starting my day with a smoothie or fruit generally helps, too. But now I have this foot pain on the bottom of my right food and no idea what caused it. It's very tender to even walk on, much less walk on the treadmill for a workout. So I'm sort of stuck having to deal with these feelings of overeating from last night, and knowing that turning to food for comfort today definitely won't make things better, although it's a very real temptation.

This morning I tried to wait a while for breakfast, for true hunger. When it came, I had a grapefruit on the way to take Bauer to preschool, and on my way home, I was really looking forward to having a big bowl of the new cereal I bought yesterday (which I had been craving): Honey Bunches of Oats. I fixed myself a big bowl as soon as I got home, and I'll bet it was at least 3 servings with 2% milk, and oh so delicious. But then, instead of being done and satisfied, and without really stopping to think or be intentional in my actions, I went back to the kitchen and poured myself a little more cereal and milk. Needless to say, I was very full afterward, but nothing about me was satisfied.

I was bummed at not having had more self-control to eat a more normal portion size and bummed at how full (and uncomfortable and pregnant) I felt and bummed that it's not really feasible for me to work out later today due to my foot and bummed, too, because I knew I'd have to wait so long now to actually feel hungry again. I was feeling quite miserable but knew there was really nothing to do except keep living. I had planned to write a few letters in my free time this morning, so I went ahead with that plan and it was a decent distraction.

I left to pick Bauer up from preschool and had planned to go straight to Whole Foods from there for a few things we needed. When I arrived at Whole Foods, I realized Bauer had peed in his pants while sitting in his carseat, and why I do not know. I had no extra clothes, and therefore no choice but to go home and change him. There was still time for a return trip to Whole Foods, and thankfully TJ was still home and could help with getting Bauer's clothes changed, putting the car seat cover in the wash, and moving our second car seat from his car to the van.

So I was off again with Bauer to Whole Foods - wondering if it's even worth the trouble at this point and still feeling very heavy and burdened about the food and body issues and also trying to decide if I should call someone to talk, like I know Anne Lamott would say to do. Here is where I am going to type a few of the quotes I just read from my "Goody Book" that I pulled off the bookshelf when I was thinking of what Anne Lamott would say to do.

And as I told her my bleak and embarrassing story, it felt like dirty clothes. I'd been trying to wash and dry it inside myself, in my embarrassed mind, which doesn't really make much sense, laundry-wise. When you hang things outside, they get air, warmth, light; and you see that even with the stains and frayed collar, the garment has kept you covered and warm for a long time. (Grace Eventually)

I don't think he was rolling his eyes impatiently at me...I don't think much surprises him: this is how we make important changes - barely, poorly, slowly. And still, he raises his fist in triumph. (Plan B)

One secret of life is that the reason life works at all is that not everyone in your tribe is nuts on the same day. (Plan B)

I was finally able to call a couple of friends. I told them that I was lost, and fat, and had once again, in trying to give myself comfort, turned to the wrong thing...My friend pointed out, "You found your way out of danger - and disgust - through humility, and even confession - to the love of safe people. Now you are safe again. (Grace Eventually)

When I woke the next morning, I felt more kindly toward myself...The spirit lifted me and now it holds on lightly. (Grace Eventually)

But most of all he needs me to be alive in a way that makes him feel he will be able to bear adulthood. (Plan B)

As soon as I got back to Whole Foods and got ready to get out of the car, I realized I had driven off and left my purse at home, meaning I had no money or credit cards to buy anything at the store. At this point, all I could really do was sigh and think to myself that it just wasn't meant to be. I told Bauer I was really sorry and that we'd have to just go back home (and I had no intentions of returning to Whole Foods a third time). And so I drove away sadly - not even mad by this point, just kind of dejected - and was feeling even worse about myself.

And then God showed up.

He showed up in the form of my husband, who must have noticed my purse sitting there as soon as I'd left home, and who had followed me to Whole Foods, but who couldn't call me on my cell phone because my phone was in my purse. So just as I'm driving away from Whole Foods, I meet a little silver Civic with someone waving out the window to get my attention. It's TJ and I realize he was looking for me his whole way there to make sure we didn't accidentally pass one another without me seeing him. I did see that it was him and I knew it meant he had my purse, so I did a U-turn at the stoplight and drove back to Whole Foods.

I almost lost it at this point, at TJ's kindness, at God's kindness, at the okay-ness of everything. Yeah, maybe I feel too full and have ugly zits on my back caused by the pregnancy hormones and was about to go home disappointed and empty-handed from Whole Foods, but God proved again to be enough. And that didn't mean I all of a sudden put on a happy face and felt completely uplifted. But it helped me keep going, and I'm still here now, and I'm trying to be kind to myself and especially to the body part of myself today.

A little bit ago, I was starting to feel hungry again, so I had a smoothie which I know my body was happy to get. I'll have more when I'm hungry again, but for now this writing and this remembrance of God's goodness toward me has been my food and it is the kind that satisfies.

Two Favorites

2008-03-12T16:18:00.005-05:00

Last night, my friend Jaime and I were 2 of 150 people who got to hear Anne Lamott speak here in Naperville. She was appearing at a tiny (and I mean tiny) chapel on the campus of North Central College. I figured every seat in the house would be a good seat, and we got there just 5 or 10 minutes after the doors opened, and we got just okay seats. Thankfully it was a small venue so no matter whether you could see all that great, everyone in the place could hear Anne speaking.

She came on at 7 pm and was just so interesting to see and hear in person. I thought she was going to give some sort of lecture or talk, similar to what TJ and I heard Rob Bell give when we saw him in Chicago. Not that Anne Lamott and Rob Bell have the same style at all, but that's sort of what I had in mind as far as the format. It ended up being that Anne read the first chapter of her book Grace (Eventually), which is her latest book and the book that this book tour is for. The chapter she read was actually a pretty funny chapter, so she got a lot of laughs as she read it and made it her own (although it was already actually her own). I enjoyed hearing the words she wrote come from her own mouth, as if she was a story-teller.

After the reading of the chapter, Anne gave us a little update on her son Sam, who is now 18 years old and whom she has written about in a lot of her non-fiction works, so it was probably assumed people wanted to know about Sam (which I did). After the Sam update - he's doing fine, by the way - it was Q&A time.

Although Anne probably only took about 5 questions due to time, the questions asked were pretty good ones that allowed her to share on various topics. I had a question and raised my hand a couple times, but I think where I was sitting kept her from really seeing me. I was going to ask what her thoughts on blogging are, and whether she reads any blogs. I wanted to know if she thinks blogging is too trendy to be a valid place for real writers, or just basically any thoughts she has on blogging. Oh well. My friend Gretchen who is driving to Austin to see Anne speak at a Barnes & Noble, as part of this same book tour, said she would ask my question for me if given the chance.

The question and answer I most enjoyed from this part of the engagement last night was when someone asked Anne how to find one's own unique voice as a writer. Well, I liked that question as well as the very last one, which I'll get to in a minute. But the one about finding one's own voice was good because Anne said it's okay to try to be like writers you like and even to try to write in their voice. I resonated with that a lot because sometimes when I write, I like to think of myself writing a line here or there that sounds as good as the lines of Anne Lamott herself. So without even trying to follow that advice, I realize I do that and hopefully I can do it better and better. I loved this line Anne shared last night: "Write what you'd love to come upon." I'd love to come upon (besides Anne, of course) more Alexander McCall Smith, more Madeleine L'Engle, and more Elizabeth Berg. Those are my 4 favorites.

The last question Anne took last night, which was my second favorite, had something to do with her speaking some sort of hope to the church today. I don't remember too much of her hope message, but I remember one thing she said about Jesus that made me think "Yes, I know that's how he really had to be." She talked about how Jesus never tried to force people into his way of life and he never gave up on people and he never turned them away. If he was talking with someone who just wasn't getting what he was saying, or who was arguing with him, or who was just being difficult, Jesus never rolled his eyes or turned the other way, having given up hope on that person. He would probably say to this other person something like, "Hey, you know what, I'm going to go over here for a little while because this conversation is making us both a little crazy. We'll talk again later, like after dinner or something." So inclusive, so generous, so full of grace. That is the Jesus that Anne Lamott described and that is the Jesus that gives us who are part of the church hope for our churches and for ourselves and for the world.

So there you have my Anne Lamott-in-person story. Obviously, she was my first favorite last night, and I was so glad to get to experience her together with a friend.

My second favorite was a big bonus! Elizabeth Berg was there, in the audience last night. A couple times during her speaking, Anne mentioned Elizabeth Berg (once was when she was listing some of her favorite authors) and when she mentioned her name, she also motioned upward toward the balcony. Right away, I turned to Jaime and was like, "is she here?" Later on, Anne did it again and as soon as I remembered that Elizabeth Berg is from Chicago, I realized that she probably was in fact there in person.

After it was over, and Jaime and I had gotten our books signed by Annie, as her friends call her, (by the way, we were numbers 16 and 17 for the book signing!), I decided to ask one of the people working the book table if Elizabeth Berg was actually there. It turns out she was, and Jaime and I got to go upstairs to this sitting area right outside the balcony and there she sat, just sitting there by herself reading a book. I went over and asked Elizabeth if I could have her autograph. I was so excited to see her in person and tell her I am currently reading her book Dream When You're Feeling Blue, and how much I like her writing style and the way she writes about all different people in all different walks of life and time periods and it's all so interesting. She seemed very nice and was more than happy to sign my "Goody Book." This is the scrapbook-type book I had brought along to get Anne Lamott to sign. It's a place where I write down quotes from the books of all my favorite authors, as well as stick other little unique quotes or cards or newspaper clippings, etc. I had Anne Lamott sign the page in there that has the quotes from my favorite of her books, Traveling Mercies. And then I had Elizabeth Berg sign the page where I had written several quotes from several different books of hers. It was perfect!

After our evening of Anne Lamott and Elizabeth Berg, Jaime and I went to Pot Belly for oreo milkshakes. That was a fun ending to our night. Later, when I got home, I finished reading Dream When You're Feeling Blue. I love finishing a good book, because it means I get to go on to another good book. Now I'm on to Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner. And I'm definitely going to see her if she ever comes to Naperville.

Things That Matter

2008-03-10T21:04:00.004-05:00

I had a great weekend spending time with my friend Miska who was visiting me from SC. It was so nice to be around another Southerner (nothing against my Midwest friends). But you have to understand, you don't even have Chick-fil-A here.

Miska and I went to downtown Chicago for the afternoon and night on Saturday and we got to eat at Bandera, which is owned by the same company as Houston's, which is mine and TJ's favorite restaurant. I had my favorite meal in the whole wide world - the homemade veggie burger - and Miska got the blackened fish sandwich. Oh! and we had this amazing cornbread for an appetizer. After dinner, we did a little shopping at Water Tower Place, and then my favorite thing that night was sitting in a Starbucks on Michigan Avenue drinking our mocha (Miska) and latte (me) and talking about things that matter.

My least favorite thing, however, was also to be blamed on Starbucks. I ordered a tall decaf 2% latte and the girl who made my drink even called out "decaf" when she was placing my drink on the pick up counter. But there is no way it was decaf. I couldn't tell as I drank it, but around 12 midnight, I was wondering why I was having trouble going to sleep. By the way, we used one of our Vitality Reward Certificates (earned by doing fitness-related things with TJ's insurance plan) and got to stay at the Courtyard Marriott just off Michigan Avenue. I know for sure I didn't fall asleep until at least 2am. And then I was up to go to the bathroom (the dreaded pregnancy bathroom trips) around 4:15 and I know for sure I didn't fall asleep that time till 6:30am. And then I think I slept off and on till around 8 or 8:30. All in all, I figure I slept half the night, meaning 4 hours of sleep and 4 hours of just lying there wanting to sleep. I know it was the caffeine that kept me awake because I've had caffeine before bed before and this is exactly how I felt the last time. I just hope there is no next time. Ever. It was pretty rough. And my bed was so comfy and my pillow was great and our room was super quiet. And there were no kids to wake us up. So that was pretty much a big bummer - to realize that one person's mistake of pushing the wrong button on the espresso machine cost me a good night's sleep that I was really needing.

My eyes felt so heavy the next day, but Miska and I still enjoyed our free buffet breakfast on Sunday morning at the hotel and then walking around to do a little more shopping (we spent most of our time in the four-floor Gap) before returning to Naperville. I was able to take a mini-nap, which may have only literally been 10 minutes, but it made a big difference in how I was feeling. Later in the afternoon, after Bauer was up from his nap, we all went to downtown Naperville and showed Miska around and went in a few stores and enjoyed the 45 degree weather. Nice! But we forgot to take pictures and it would have been a great opportunity since it was sunny and warmer than usual and I didn't have to have on the hood of my hoodie :)

We got our favorite pizza from Lou Malnati's for dinner and then we picked up some cookie dough from Cookie Dough Creations for dessert for later in the evening. Unfortunately they were completely out of the chocolate chip cookie dough, but fortunately there are 7 other flavors of dough to choose from. And it was the perfect opportunity for us to actually try other flavors. Normally I always resort back to chocolate chip, thinking there is no way I will like any of the others better. But this time, we got 2 kinds together in the same pint cup: M&M and Brownie Batter. Both good, but neither as good as chocolate chip. But I'm glad we know now.

Miska had to leave this morning but I'm so glad I got to spend the time with my friend. Bauer was saying tonight that he wanted Miska to come, meaning come back I guess. I told him she had to go home to see her two little boys and he says what he always does when we tell him how something is. The cutest little "oh" as in "oooohhh, so that's what that means, or that's what that is." It's one of my favorite of Bauer's little mannerisms these days. And it's one of the things that matter in my life.

Enough

2008-02-27T15:25:00.007-06:00

I loved being in Texas with my friend Gretchen this past weekend. I stayed with Gretchen and her family, which is her husband Nate and their two boys, Ethan and Jack. Jack is very close in age to Bauer, so it was fun to see his development in comparison with Bauer's, but it also made me miss the cute and funny things Bauer does.

Gretchen and I got lots of time to hang out and just talk. We never seem to run out of things to talk about. It was fun to see their town and the places they go on a daily and weekly basis. We ate some good food and I ate a ton! We went out a few times - to Jason's Deli, to this Mexican place on the Riverwalk in downtown San Antonio,

and to Chick-fil-A. We don't have Chicky-chik, as TJ and I call it, here in Illinois, so it was great to eat an original chicken sandwich with lettuce and tomato and some waffle fries. We also ate at Gretchen's house some, and every recipe she made, I loved and want to add to my repertoire. We had this crock-pot vegetarian chili with whole-wheat beer bread one night and another night we had lemon-poppyseed turkey burgers with Napa cabbage slaw. That last combination was a Rachael Ray recipe and boy was it tasty. Even after eating a huge, late Mexican lunch, I could still fit some of that in. We also had some creamy, full-of-fat Caramel Pecan Turtle ice cream on Sunday night while we watched the Oscars, and a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs throughout the days I was there.

Enough about food, I suppose, but with all that, I only gained 3 pounds in my 1st trimester. (I had my 2nd pregnancy visit doctor's appointment yesterday and everything seems to be going fine with Baby #2. The nurse found the baby's heartbeat right away and the doctor answered my questions about flying at 31 weeks - I can! Beachtrip! - and about lifting weights - I can, but just light ones. I scheduled my ultrasound appointment to find out the gender for April 16. By that point, I'll be just over 21 weeks, so I hope they can predict it for me).

But back to Texas - after church on Sunday, Gretchen and I went to downtown San Antonio to have lunch and walk around. We had planned to eat at this one place Gretchen knew of that was a really crazy atmosphere supposedly, but the wait was going to be an hour and I was starving already. So we went to a different place on the Riverwalk and only had to wait about 20 minutes. The food was so good. And getting to eat outside and enjoy the warm sunshine made it that much better. It was high 80s on Sunday, so I got to wear my new short-sleeve American Eagle shirt and my camo capris. I was loving it!

After lunch, we walked further down the Riverwalk and saw all the gorgeous flowers planted everywhere.

We went up and walked on the street level for a while and then walked over to the Alamo. We also stopped by a candy store for a few pieces of orange slices, Swedish fish, and pink Starburst. But my favorite experience in downtown San Antonio was going to a Henna tattoo shop.

I have been thinking about getting a tattoo for a while and I know I want it on my arm and I know I want words. For a while, I wanted the quote "Arrange whatever pieces come your way. -V.W." But then when I came home from Hilton Head in January and felt like I could truly stop trying to arrange my life so much, I thought maybe that's not the best quote. So then I had decided on a quote I made up: "He means the world." This would be referring to God, because I want him to mean the world to me. But it could also apply to TJ and to Bauer and to our next baby if it's a boy. But if it's a girl, then maybe she would feel left out. So I wasn't completely sold on that quote, and after applying the words using temporary-tattoo letters, I decided it was going to be too long anyway.

So just before my trip to Texas, I had decided on what I thought would truly be the word tattoo I wanted - the Hebrew word for enough. TJ is actually the one who suggested the Hebrew, and I agreed, since I wasn't too crazy about the English word enough. But "enough" is definitely what I want to say. It means that God is enough for me. God's enoughness covers my not-enoughness. God's enoughness covers my weakness, my tiredness, my confusion, my misplaced desires, my uncertainties, and every other way I am not enough. For the very first time in my place, or at least for the first time since I had that innocent faith as a little child, I am truly feeling that God is, and is going to be, enough for me. No matter what happens in my life, being given to or being taken away from, God is going to sustain me and care for me. And I love him for that. And I want to say to myself and to the world that he is enough. So enough is the word I had decided on and even though it had only been a few days since I had decided, I was feeling pretty sure on this one.

Gretchen and I were passing all kinds of shops in downtown San Antonio and the door was propped open at one of them, some sort of clothing store, and a big sign on the door said "Henna Tattoos, Last Up to 4 Weeks." I was interested so we went in. I did not know what a Henna tattoo was, but obviously could deduct that it was temporary. I guess I forgot to mention that I cannot get a real tattoo while pregnant or breast-feeding, so I had pretty much planned that I'd have to wait till at least my 30th birthday in July 2009. But temporary was sounding good to me as a trial run, if nothing else.

We went in the store and I began talking to the man who was applying a Henna tattoo of a star to a girl's foot. The first thing I noticed about the man was that he was wearing one of those black beanie hats, which I'm sure have a name, but which to me signified (at least, I thought it meant) he was Jewish. I started asking him what Henna tattoos are made of and whether they are safe to do while pregnant. He told me they are made from all-natural dyes, similar to hair coloring solution, like when you are dying your hair and some of the dye runs onto your forehead and it sort of stains it. But the Henna dye is more concentrated so it stays on your skin for around 4 weeks. He said he didn't know if it was safe to have during pregnancy, but the girl who was having the star tattooed on her foot chimed in that even though they say not to dye your hair during pregnancy, a lot of people do and it doesn't cause harm. I could see that point, but at the same time, I just felt unsure about doing something I had not personally looked up on the Internet first.

But I was torn because it was only $12, but more amazingly, here was a Jewish man (who had spent the first 26 or 27 years of his life in Israel) who knew the Hebrew word for enough and would be willing to tattoo it on me and would know just how to form the letters properly. I kept thinking maybe this is a sign that I should do it, and I was getting more excited but at the same time not 100% sure it was okay for the baby. I told the guy I wanted to do it but I wondered if he had a computer so I could go online and check real quickly to see if it's safe. He said he would call his wife at home (who was also expecting a baby this summer). I don't know if they are allowed to have Henna tattoos and I don't even know if his wife cared a thing about tattoos, but that's beside the point. The point is he called his wife for me and asked her if she would look online and she said she would call back shortly. Gretchen and I chit-chatted while waiting and soon, the man came back and said "Bad news." He didn't say what she found online but I assumed it was unsafe to get a Henna tattoo while pregnant. However, the nice Jewish man was more than happy to write down the Hebrew word for enough for me, as well as the English pronunciation. So now I have it on a little yellow slip of paper and it's about the coolest souvenir I could have gotten.

Gretchen and I ended up talking to him for probably 20 more minutes about all kinds of Jewish things, like whether he keeps a kosher kitchen (he does), what his wife had to do to convert from Catholicism (travel 3 hours each way once a week for a year to visit a rabbi, and then to sometimes be told he couldn't even meet with her, to find out if she was truly serious about converting), and whether there are any good Jewish delis in San Antonio (there are not, according to our new friend). Gretchen grew up in a Jewish community in Florida, not that she was Jewish, but she knew a lot of Jewish people as well as a lot of Jewish terminology. I had just finished reading Lauren Winner's book Girl Meets God a week before my trip, and it was all about the author's journey into Orthodox Judaism (she converted), as well as her journey back out as she felt Jesus calling her to himself and to being a Christ-follower. The book gave me a much deeper understanding of the Jewish faith, not to mention a somewhat-familiarity with Jewish rituals and holidays. It was such a very cool experience to have with Gretchen that day, even if I didn't end up getting the tattoo.

Come to find out, once we got back to Gretchen's house, I went online to see for myself why a Henna tattoo would be bad, and not one thing could I find that said don't get one while you are pregnant. All the sites I found said they are perfectly safe to get during pregnancy. I'm not sure what site the guy's wife must have found, so I was a little bummed that I ended up not getting one. But that just gives me and my friend Miska something fun to do when she comes to visit me in a couple weeks. There's gotta be a place in downtown Chicago that does Henna tattoos, but I doubt I'll find a Jewish tattoo artist again.

If you didn't believe it before....

2008-02-20T13:57:00.004-06:00

I hope you will now. There is something just plain spooky-special about the number 47.

As I mentioned in my last post, I was given the number 47 as my order number yesterday to put up on my table at Corner Bakery Cafe so the server would know where to deliver my food. Well, the saga continues...

Today, after picking Bauer up from his first real day of preschool,

we headed to the library to drop off a bunch of books and a few DVDs, and to get more books and more DVDs. Bauer gets to pick 3 DVDs each time we go and we get to keep them for a week. Today he picked The Little Einsteins, Bear in the Big Blue House, and Jay-Jay the Jet Plane.

Let me sidetrack here a minute and say this is another example of Bauer having to "check" something. When we take the DVDs off the shelves at the library, Bauer wants to check to be sure the DVDs are in their cases (wonder who he learned that from?). And then just before we return the DVDs into the drop box, he also wants to check to be sure they're in their cases (wonder who he learned that from?)

So after we left the library, I was feeling really quite hungry and craving some of that Roasted Tomato Basil soup that I had yesterday for the first time at the Corner Bakery. It is super-cold here, today and every day, which is another great reason to get the soup that one craves. I decided to stop by the restaurant and go in quickly with Bauer to get some soup to go, along with those big buttery croutons that they put in the soup and that get all soggy and delicious. I placed my order and then....drum roll, please....the guy handed me the number 47 again as my order number. I know not every one gets 47 because I saw the guy after me get number 95. But is there something in my genetic code that attracts 47 to me?! I couldn't believe it, but really, I could. I could write about 47 more "47" stories. TJ and I have had stuff like this happen to us so many times it's ridiculous. We've come to expect it in fact.

So you better start believin,' is all I can say.

Bauer seems to have done great at his first day of preschool. He seemed a little sad for me to leave him there this morning, but when I picked him up, the teacher said he had no tears and had such a fun time. They gave me a little handout where one of the high school students had written out what Bauer had learned, what he had for snack, who he played with, what he excelled at. Evidently, Bauer learned about various types of musical instruments, he had apple guitars and banana drums (whatever those are!) for snack, he built a tower out of blocks with a little boy named Sullivan, and he was a "natural" at catching the football during gym time. I don't think he's ever even held a football, so go figure, little Mr. TJ. (As in, TJ is good at pretty much everything, even on his first try).

Well, except maybe cooking.

Thank God for Chocolate

2008-02-19T18:37:00.003-06:00

I'm 1/3 of the way through my pregnancy, as of yesterday. My next doctor's appointment is a week from today and I look forward to an update on my progress.

Since being pregnant, I have not wanted even one cup of hot green tea, which I used to drink almost daily. And only just in the last 2 weeks have I wanted any sort of coffee drink. I've had three lattes lately, one from Ethel's Chocolate Bar, one from Starbucks, and then again maybe it was just two.

TJ and I had a date the other night. We tried a new babysitter, not that anything is wrong with our old faithful small group night babysitter. Bauer loves her, but I was just wanting to find a second reliable person to call on in case our first one is unavailable for some reason. Bauer did terrific with his new babysitter, and TJ and I went to dinner first. Stir Crazy. Veggie stir fry done just the way we'd want it since we got to pick all the veggies and the sauce. Then we went to Target to walk around and look around and ended up spending $130 or thereabout. I mean, really, does anyone ever go in Target and come out with nothing? I did have a list in fact, so it wasn't all just impulse buying. We even bought a second car seat for Bauer, to put in TJ's car, since we plan to take turns dropping off and picking up Bauer from his preschool. After Target, TJ and I went to Starbucks for sweets. TJ had the caramel latte and me the plain one. TJ would have gotten the ginger-molasses cookie if they'd have had it, but instead he got some sort of coffee cake. I just ate the chocolate that we'd just bought at Target. Heaven.

Thank God for chocolate. Seriously.

I wrote that in my journal two times today as I was journaling and eating chocolate. Cadbury Mini Eggs. I always hope the blue ones are the ones that come out of the bag when I stick my hand in. I'd be happy with a bag of all blue ones, although some people think they are purple. See, I have this thing for blue....

And the number 47. Today I took Bauer to Story Time at Barnes & Noble and met up with a couple of friends there who brought along their boys. Us three moms and our three boys went to Corner Bakery Cafe for lunch after the Story Time and wouldn't you know - I mean, if you know us, you would know - that the number for my order was 47. The number they gave me to put on the metal stand on my table, to say to the world - this represents my order, my food, in fact, what I'm going to put in myself and it will become part of me - the number 47.

Bauer's latest funny thing to say is that he will "check." He applies this to all kinds of situations. When I ask him first thing in the morning if Dad has already helped Bauer to take off his pull-up and put on his underwear, Bauer will say, "let's check," and he proceeds to pull down his pants and see if he is wearing underwear (as if he can't remember the ordeal I'm sure it was for TJ to get his squirming butt out of the pull-up and into the underwear).

Second example: the other day, I asked Bauer if he wanted peaches for a snack, and he said, "no, pears." I said I don't know if we have any pears, so Bauer said, "let's check." And he walks to the kitchen, opens the pantry, climbs on the stool, and wants to look for pears.

Third: We were in Meijer the other day doing grocery-shopping and normally when we're there, I go down the frozen foods aisle just to see if they have the Amy's Roasted Vegetable Pizza we like to buy. They have lots of Amy's pizzas, but only once in a while do they have the Roasted Vegetable ones in stock. I think they forget to order them, as opposed to them flying off the shelves into people's carts. Well, this particular shopping trip, I hadn't even thought to go look for the pizza and I would have totally passed through the store without doing so. But as we started going by the frozen food aisles, Bauer said, "check pop-pee (pizza)," meaning he wanted to check for the pizza. I couldn't believe he remembered it.

Bauer makes us laugh all the time these days. He is always checking for something, or hiding something, or mixing things up on purpose. He loves, loves, loves puzzles all of a sudden. We just bought him a big floor puzzle of the U.S.A. and although he needs assistance, he is quite adept at putting together different parts of the puzzle that have images representing the states. He also knows to point to the cityscape in Illinois to represent where we live and he likes to get out his toy airplane and fly it from where we live to Gigi's house in NC and to Nana & Papa's in Pennsylvania (where the pretzel is). TJ taught him that and it's adorable.

I'm in a writing mood as we speak, but my time is limited. Good night!

Need to Write

2008-02-14T14:12:00.002-06:00

I can tell I need to write today. I wanted to write yesterday but today I need to. My feelings must be talked about.

I feel drained and low on energy yet at the same time I feel a desire for God and simplicity and good friends and prayer and just plain life. I do not feel depressed and that is significant. I feel pregnant and have a baby belly to show for it. I feel the enjoyment of eating good food, even if it's a grilled cheese sandwich which is something I very seldomly choose to eat. I feel the excitement of living a generous life, even if I'm not quite sure what to give away. I feel like I've given a lot of myself to people and to arranging get-togethers and to making meal plans in the last couple of weeks, and even though I'm resting a lot more and pushing myself to do a lot less, I still feel like today I have reached a place where I must stop once again and reevaluate my intentions and write this note to myself to be shared with my friends.

I am pleasantly surprised with my joy at living lately. Living has never been the easiest thing for me and even last night, I had to struggle through how to deal with getting my second order in a row from Chipotle that was messed up. The first time - a week ago - they left off the peppers and onions, and last night, they left off the black beans. And with it being a "veggie bowl," the black beans were kinda like the main part. I did have a can of black beans at home that I could open and heat up, but still it irked me tremendously and I wished I would have been better at dealing with such a small inconvenience. In reading Let God, I began to develop an awareness of and a pining for learning "to be content with whatever God makes happen, big or small." I also learned that God gives us just the right amount of struggle and just the right amount of strength, and that makes me feel a lot better about life in general.

After my Chipotle experience, I could tell I had a hard time bouncing back, not to mention I had spent the hour previous to that trying to get a prescription filled (which took longer than I'd planned) and then getting Bauer in and out of the van again at the library to return the DVDs that were due and to let him choose a few more. It doesn't sound like much to do two errands but with the cold weather, I'm saying it at least doubles the difficulty. And I need to remember that and not try to do more than I can mentally and emotionally handle. The physical can take it, though maybe not quite as fast these days, what with being pregnant and Bauer weighing 36 pounds and becoming a bit too heavy for me to carry very far and the snow and ice everywhere making any trek out more trouble than I'd wish on any mom. But my spirit begs for more quietness and time at home and talking patiently with Bauer and preparing meals for my family and reading and thinking and especially writing. So I'm listening to my spirit and the Spirit today.

Cravings, Allergies, and Towels

2008-02-07T14:54:00.000-06:00

Three unrelated things are on my mind today to blog about, so I will bring them all together in a post.

First, cravings. Here are a few of the things I have wanted to eat since being pregnant.

1) Raisin Bran - I don't eat cereal very often, but for some reason, I wanted some Raisin Bran one night after dinner when TJ was going to Jewel for something. He bought me some, and I had 2 bowls that night, and none since.

2) Meatball sub from Subway - I fulfilled this craving while we were in Hilton Head, but sometime I think I'll try the meatball sub from Pot Belly Sandwich Works, which has become one of my favorite places to eat lately.

3) Cheese balls - Does anyone remember those old-timey blue cans of Cheese balls with the yellow lids? Mary-Ma (my grandmother) used to have these at her house for us kids to eat when we were little. I guess no one cared about Trans Fat or fake ingredients back then, because when I went to the store to look for these same cheese balls, I couldn't find and maybe they don't even make them anymore they were so probably so bad for you. I found the usual Cheetos (puffy ones and crunchy ones). I would have bought these until I had to go and look at the ingredients. I decided on a healthier version called Garden of Eatin' Baked Crunchitos, which I'll have to say are pretty tasty. I had to open them on the way home from the store the day I bought them. I always imagine people doing this, and I rarely do, except for maybe a banana. So it was a fun splurge.

4) Dill pickles - On sale at Meijer. Salty. Vlasic Sandwich Stackers. But still unopened in my fridge.

5) Peanut Butter M&M's - Just bought myself a single-serve pack of these and enjoyed half of them last night. The rest will be gone soon.

6) Peanut butter - I went for the longest time without eating any peanut butter since Bauer always eats almond butter on his sandwiches and I like it just fine. But recently while making a peanut butter sandwich for TJ's lunch, the smell of the peanut butter made me want some. Later that day or the next, I had an apple with peanut butter. That's a great snack, but I've also enjoyed bread with peanut butter, as well as regular M&M's dipped in peanut butter. That must have given me the idea for the Peanut Butter M&M's.

What a nice segue (and what a weird spelling for a word). Peanut Butter. Peanuts. Allergies.

We learned today that Bauer is allergic to peanuts, cashews, and eggs.

Those were the 3 things I thought he was allergic to, so it wasn't a great surprise to find this out. The allergist we saw was so nice and helpful (thanks to our small group leader Rudy for the great recommendation). They tested Bauer by doing the scratch tests on his back while he got to watch an Elmo DVD. It was quite a good setup they had: a bunch of DVDs in the room for the kid to choose from, as well as coloring books, books, puzzles, and other toys. TJ took Bauer while I was at Connections and then after I was done, I met them there.

As far as follow-up, the doctor wants us to have some blood tests run on Bauer - I think it's called Rast test or something like that. This will enable him to see whether Bauer is becoming less allergic from year to year, as opposed to just noting that he is allergic to the same foods from year to year. In addition, we received a prescription for the Epi-Pen Jr, which I plan to have filled right away, as well as take the extra one along to his preschool next week when he starts that.

The other things they tested Bauer for were milk, chocolate, cantaloupe, sesame seeds (not sure why they picked this one), and navy beans. All of these came back negative. Previously, Bauer had had one reaction to cantaloupe, but has had cantaloupe many times since with no reactions. So thankfully he's not allergic to something too healthy like fruit. I can live with him not eating nuts or eggs. And also thankfully, he is not allergic to almonds (which the doctor said is actually one of the least allergenic tree nuts) since Bauer has an almond butter and jelly sandwich almost every day for lunch and that would be a hard thing to replace.

And what another great segue. Replacement of things. Such as towels. Does anyone else find that bath towels are one of the hardest things to shop for, buy, and be happy with a few months later? They might seem okay at first (or they might be made of some less-than-stellar cotton or cotton blend to begin with and not even dry you off properly), but we've noticed that within a few months, they either start to shred or to smell bad or both. Our last decent towels were from Kohl's and we got them during one of their 60% off sales or something like that. They were actually pretty good and weren't smelling bad and were soft and good for drying off, but my washcloth was already in tatters.

And then one day after I ate at Pot Belly Sandwich Works in downtown Naperville, I happened to see the window display at the Restoration Hardware next door, along with a huge Bath Sale sign. I went in to look at the beautiful color combinations they had displayed and to try to find some prices, but all I could see was that they were 20% off. I asked the lady at the counter when the sale ended, as well as what the prices were, and she directed me to the side wall where there were lots more colors of towels, as well as their prices listed. No one had to convince me once I saw even more of the colors and unfolded the bath towel and felt it in my hand. I started to add up the cost to get the towels we'd need, and decided this should be discussed with TJ before taking any action.

We talked about it and I suggested we do it as a Valentine's gift to one another instead of getting each other cards, gifts, or going out for the holiday. The sale was to end this past Sunday, so on Sunday after church, we went by for TJ to take a look and see what he thought. He really liked them, too, but I think he did it more for me. He knows I have always cared about my towels. When we were in New York City this past summer, the family we stayed with for those few days had Restoration Hardware towels, and I thought it was about the best thing ever to be able to have such nice towels. I never thought we'd actually get them though.

And it ended up that the colors we picked out for bath towels and washcloths - dark brown for TJ and this sea foam greenish-blue for me - were even a better choice than we meant to make since the greenish-blue ones were discontinued and on sale for half-price instead of only the 20% and we didn't realize that when we picked them out. Obviously, that's the color of bathmat we picked as well. We couldn't decide on what color hand towel would be complementary, so a lady working there helped us pick out a grayish-beige color. Perfect.

And they are perfect.

I know because I hope they last forever. This is how I am when I have something that becomes my favorite -

such as a piece of clothing (my American Eagle hoodie which I literally wear every single day)

or a pair of shoes (my completely worn-out white Privo shoes that I can't imagine throwing away)

or my fun Le Sportsac purse (which I've been using for over two years already).

I like these things so much that I think I will never need to buy another one because I will never want anything different. I guess the towels probably won't last another 50-60 years, which is at least how long I'd like to last.